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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Do Men Really Fall in Love?
He loves me, he loves me not..?
So many women are under the impression that men don't have depth of feelings or emotions as women do. They wonder:
Can he truly fall in love with me? Is it just lust that keeps him coming back-- and will he dispose of me when he finds someone more exciting? Is this relationship just convenient for him, to have someone to come home to at night and share the expenses and responsibilities with? Is it just comfortable, like an old shoe? Or does he feel as deeply for me as I do for him?
Before you let yourself get down about his feelings, let's look at guys, their feelings, and how they express themselves.
Poll for the guys:
Have you ever really loved a woman?
Men and Women Think Differently
A lot of people will boo and complain at the idea that men and women think differently, but the facts is-- we do. It's not a statement that's meant to be sexist, evolution has simply hard-wired our brains differently. Livescience reviews studies that show men have more gray matter than women, and women have much more white matter than men. This essentially means we process things differently. This is why men do better with tasks that are more concrete, like mathematics, while women are better assimilating information, such as language skills.
It's just these kinds of thinking differences that can create the break-down in communications that leave women wondering if a man really cares about her or not. A man may feel the relationship's direction is crystal clear and needs no discussion; he accepts it on the whole. A woman may spend a lot of time analyzing all the relationships nuances, leaving her to wonder more about what different things may mean for the couple.
Spilling his guts is not usually the most appealing way for men to show their feelings. They usually opt for more concrete, action-oriented means to "show" rather than "tell" how they are feeling. He may not gush with floral prose when he wants to show he cares; more likely he'll check your car engine to see if it needs a tune-up, offer a back massage after you've had a long day or program the time on your DVD player that's been blinking 12:30 for months now.
It's not that he doesn't adore your personality, or respect you for your mind, but physical attraction is a major factor when a man expresses his feelings.
Women are often worried about confusing sex with love when they get into a relationship. They want to make sure a guy isn't with them for the wrong reasons-- they're worried guys just want their bodies. When a relationship is very hot and steamy, as it goes on, she may find herself asking if it's purely physical.
Men, on the other hand, don't separate sex and love. That's not to say that every time a man has sex he falls in love-- that's certainly not the case. It doesn't mean he saves himself for true love, either; certainly guys give into their more primal urges.
However, to a man, showing you how attracted he is to you, wanting to make love to you, is part of showing you that he loves you. It goes both ways; he wants you to want him, too, because in his mind this helps affirm your feelings for him. Telling isn't enough, most guys like to show, and want to be shown in return.
So just because he seems really interested in your body and can't keep his hands off you sometimes doesn't mean he sees you as a sex object; it could be the sign of him trying to express his love that you'd been looking for.
Men Have Feelings, Too
There's really no reason to doubt that men have feelings. While not every guy you meet or date may be honest with his feelings, men and women have the same emotions. It's the way they process and express emotions that may be different, but if you learn to look for the signs, you can see just how much he feels for you.