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Do You Have Any Idea How Exhausting It Is To Be A Gay?

Updated on March 17, 2010


I have to laugh when I read blogs (or comments to mine) that talk about gay being a choice that people make or that we gays should somehow just not make the choice to act on what is natural for us by being gay. The Christian Right would be okay if we would all be gay but just not do gay things or “acts” in the boudoir to be exact. They’d say okay to treating us like human beings if we would just lie about our sexuality like the breeding ground they’ve created for pedophile priests (who guess what? Most aren’t gay, they’re just mentally defective humans who want to get laid and don’t get that sleeping with children is unacceptable). Yeah, their system seems to be working out well for everyone. But what gets me is that every morning I have to wake up to read yet another headline about gays being discriminated against and it riles me up. Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be gay? – Don’t Get Me Started!

Anyone who has read anything of mine knows that I am just fine with being gay. I embrace it whole-heartedly, accept that this is who I am and I decided a long time ago to not listen to anyone who told me that I should either not admit it or just “not be gay” – yeah, that’s going to happen. But what gets me are all the people who say that we shouldn’t talk about it. That’s right, there are so many people who say that the gays could get ahead more if they just didn’t talk so much about I don’t know, wanting equal rights I guess. Yeah, that seems like a good plan. These people always say, “If the gays weren’t so in your face all the time it would be easier to accept them. We don’t need to hear that you’re gay every minute of every day.” I disagree. I had this discussion with some co-workers last week. They asked me why Jews seem to have to tell you that they’re Jewish all the time. Here was my response, when I was five years old, a kid from our neighborhood that my brother and I had played with for quite some time came over to our house and said, “I can’t play with you anymore because my Dad says you’re dirty Jews.” I think the reason I tell people up front that I’m Jewish is based on this experience. Look, don’t play with me and then decide to hate me because I’m a Jew, I’m going to tell you right up front so that if you don’t want to work with me, do business with me or be around me in general you can make that call right away and not wait. The same thing goes with being gay for me. Although I grew up doing theatre where no one cared, when I joined corporate America I never even tried to hide my sexuality. If people didn’t accept me, that was on them to talk about behind my back or at the water cooler. While I wasn’t going to have a picture of my spouse on my desk (I find a bunch of personal stuff at someone’s desk just clutter) I wasn’t going to change the pronoun when talking about my spouse either. That can be exhausting enough but then when co-workers always come to you to ask if someone else at the company is gay it can get even more tiresome. My response has always been, “Let me check my gay registry tonight when I get home but I don’t know if they’ve updated it recently.”

This past week alone, Johnny Weir was turned down by Stars On Ice for not being “family friendly” but then they changed their mind and said that they just didn’t have room for him on the tour. Next was the lesbian high schooler who when she wanted to bring her girlfriend to the prom and dress in a tuxedo the school district decided to just cancel the entire prom so as to not allow same sex dates at the prom. And the final thing for me was when a pre-schooler was thrown out of a Catholic school because the kid’s parents happen to be of the same sex. Put all of the above together and the outrage begins to boil in me until I feel as though I’m going to hemorrhage gayness all over the sidewalk. ARGHHHHHHHH! I feel like Snoopy on top of his doghouse shaking his fist at the Red Baron. Curse you homophobic assholes, curse you and the world that you’re trying to create where everyone and everything is exactly like you. Curse you! See what I mean? Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to be gay? – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • mannyrolando profile image

      mannyrolando 6 years ago

      I really enjoyed reading this and totally agree with you, it is exhausting to be gay!

    • SweetMocha-Monroe profile image

      SweetMocha-Monroe 7 years ago

      Great Hub!