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Do You Regret Breaking Up? Here's Why You Shouldn't

Updated on April 8, 2018
Khadigaghazy profile image

Khadiga is a UK based recruiter and passionate writer specialized in psychology, personal growth and relationships.

Take a pat on the back, girls put the ice cream tube down, and guys please let go of the pint (especially when you've already had a dozen) it will only lead to disaster.

Now you might be confused, wallowing in the fresh, painful, vivid memories of your past relationship which is absolutely natural. The truth is that heartache blurs your senses and makes your mind romanticize and yearn for what you believe "used to be yours".

Time to press the emotional cleanse and release start button. Breaking up was the best decision you've ever made so far. Here's why...

1. One bad chapter doesn't mean it's the end of the book

See your life as a book and yourself as the main character in search of your soulmate.

If you ended with Mr. Right in the first chapter, no one would bother buying your book, actually I don't even think that any rational writer (provided they consider themselves as such) would dare handing that to publishers.

Think about the happiest ending novel you've read. There was a happy ending simply because there were many twists and downfalls designed to ignite the reader's interest and have them hoping (praying) that the character would eventually meet Mr. Right.

You're the main character and every character has to kiss Mr./Mrs. Wrong (or Mr./Mrs. Frog) a few times throughout the process. But chew on this, if a chapter ends badly it means that the best hasn't come yet. And trust me, wherever it is, it's on its way.

Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not alright, it means it is not the end.

— Deborah Moggach - The Best Marigold Hotel

2. Your comfort zone always feels safer

I used to know this couple who would regularly post pictures of their every move on social medias where they enjoyed flaunting their apparent happiness.

However one day the soon-to-be bride implicitly told me that she knew she wasn't marrying the right person but that leaving wasn't an option. I clenched my jaws in disbelief and asked Why?

"What would our family and friends think ?" , "plus we just got a mortgage anyway".
I had to pinch myself, at least mentally, just to make sure that I was awake.

Appearances and comfort zone. Many people are unhappy with their current relationship and secretly long for that right person but decide to stay in prison simply because a known hell feels safer than an unknown paradise.

Being with someone always provides a sense of "security" so of course, who wants to be out there naked ? (not literally of course). Mind you, real loneliness doesn't mean being single, it means being with the wrong person.

The mistake most people make is settling for the person can live with and not with the one they CAN'T live without.

When you break up you're actually clearing out the decks so that what you truly desire can chime into your life.

Your heart knows the way, run in that direction.

— Jalaluddin Rumi

3. You're headed in the right direction just RUN

Human instinct is by far one of the most powerful gifts in our possession. We've all taken decisions based on these intuitions and seen the negative impacts whenever disregarding them.

When something feels off, it usually is and when something feels right, you know it. Yes you broke up and ending relationships is downright painful but ask yourself the following questions;

"didn't I have red flags from the start?", "didn't I actually know deep down it wasn't right but chose to take things to the upper level regardless ?" Yes, yes and yes.

In most cases, you knew the relationship wasn't IT from the get go but went for the guarantee of having someone to wake up to. The inner voices begging you to let go finally became louder than a crash of thunder and led you to call it quits.

As to your breakup, congratulations you've just bailed yourself out of jail ! Now that you're aimed in the right direction just RUN to the next chapter. And take it from me, the best is yet to come.

© 2018 Khadiga Ghazy


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    • Khadigaghazy profile image

      Khadiga Ghazy 12 days ago from Birmingham

      dashingscorpio, I love the input. Couldn't agree more with you. (And mind you, that Oscar Wilde quote is one of my favourite !). Your insight is truly appreciated, thank you for stopping by !

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 13 days ago

      Great advice.

      "The mistake most people make is settling for the person can live with and not with the one they CAN'T live without." - Very true!

      Another mistake people make is having "selective memories". After the breakup they only remember the "good times" they had not the issues that led to the breakup. It's as if they're wearing "rose tinted" glasses! In order to "move on" you have to "let go".

      Lastly Hollywood and romance novels have sold us on the idea that breaking up and getting back together is the {ultimate} "love story". It's no wonder why so many folks seek a reconciliation.

      There are three basic reasons why couples split up.

      1. They choose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible )

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.

      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

      In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" they would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to us. Choose wisely!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde