ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Do You Regret Breaking Up? Here's Why You Shouldn't

Updated on April 8, 2018
Khadigaghazy profile image

Khadiga is a UK based recruiter and passionate writer specialized in psychology, personal growth and relationships.


Take a pat on the back, girls put the ice cream tube down, and guys please let go of the pint (especially when you've already had a dozen) it will only lead to disaster.

Now you might be confused, wallowing in the fresh, painful, vivid memories of your past relationship which is absolutely natural. The truth is that heartache blurs your senses and makes your mind romanticize and yearn for what you believe "used to be yours".

Time to press the emotional cleanse and release start button. Breaking up was the best decision you've ever made so far. Here's why...

1. One bad chapter doesn't mean it's the end of the book

See your life as a book and yourself as the main character in search of your soulmate.

If you ended with Mr. Right in the first chapter, no one would bother buying your book, actually I don't even think that any rational writer (provided they consider themselves as such) would dare handing that to publishers.

Think about the happiest ending novel you've read. There was a happy ending simply because there were many twists and downfalls designed to ignite the reader's interest and have them hoping (praying) that the character would eventually meet Mr. Right.

You're the main character and every character has to kiss Mr./Mrs. Wrong (or Mr./Mrs. Frog) a few times throughout the process. But chew on this, if a chapter ends badly it means that the best hasn't come yet. And trust me, wherever it is, it's on its way.

Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not alright, it means it is not the end.

— Deborah Moggach - The Best Marigold Hotel

2. Your comfort zone always feels safer

I used to know this couple who would regularly post pictures of their every move on social medias where they enjoyed flaunting their apparent happiness.

However one day the soon-to-be bride implicitly told me that she knew she wasn't marrying the right person but that leaving wasn't an option. I clenched my jaws in disbelief and asked Why?

"What would our family and friends think ?" , "plus we just got a mortgage anyway".
I had to pinch myself, at least mentally, just to make sure that I was awake.

Appearances and comfort zone. Many people are unhappy with their current relationship and secretly long for that right person but decide to stay in prison simply because a known hell feels safer than an unknown paradise.

Being with someone always provides a sense of "security" so of course, who wants to be out there naked ? (not literally of course). Mind you, real loneliness doesn't mean being single, it means being with the wrong person.

The mistake most people make is settling for the person can live with and not with the one they CAN'T live without.

When you break up you're actually clearing out the decks so that what you truly desire can chime into your life.


Your heart knows the way, run in that direction.

— Jalaluddin Rumi

3. You're headed in the right direction just RUN

Human instinct is by far one of the most powerful gifts in our possession. We've all taken decisions based on these intuitions and seen the negative impacts whenever disregarding them.

When something feels off, it usually is and when something feels right, you know it. Yes you broke up and ending relationships is downright painful but ask yourself the following questions;

"didn't I have red flags from the start?", "didn't I actually know deep down it wasn't right but chose to take things to the upper level regardless ?" Yes, yes and yes.

In most cases, you knew the relationship wasn't IT from the get go but went for the guarantee of having someone to wake up to. The inner voices begging you to let go finally became louder than a crash of thunder and led you to call it quits.

As to your breakup, congratulations you've just bailed yourself out of jail ! Now that you're aimed in the right direction just RUN to the next chapter. And take it from me, the best is yet to come.

© 2018 Khadiga Ghazy

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Khadigaghazy profile imageAUTHOR

      Khadiga Ghazy 

      6 months ago from Birmingham

      dashingscorpio, I love the input. Couldn't agree more with you. (And mind you, that Oscar Wilde quote is one of my favourite !). Your insight is truly appreciated, thank you for stopping by !

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      6 months ago

      Great advice.

      "The mistake most people make is settling for the person can live with and not with the one they CAN'T live without." - Very true!

      Another mistake people make is having "selective memories". After the breakup they only remember the "good times" they had not the issues that led to the breakup. It's as if they're wearing "rose tinted" glasses! In order to "move on" you have to "let go".

      Lastly Hollywood and romance novels have sold us on the idea that breaking up and getting back together is the {ultimate} "love story". It's no wonder why so many folks seek a reconciliation.

      There are three basic reasons why couples split up.

      1. They choose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible )

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.

      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

      In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" they would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to us. Choose wisely!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)