- Gender and Relationships
Men and women do not view romance in the same way
What is it they say about women being from Mars and men from Venus. No that''s not right is it? Men are from Mars and women from Venus.
Either way it is a certain fact that men and women think very differently.
Perhaps we are not from different planets but at times it does feel as if we are a totally different species.
So what about in the romance stakes? Is a man simply after one thing when he is young? Do men appreciate romance? Can men even comprehend what romance is?
Is it all just wham, bam, thank-you ma'am.
Romance at Amazon
So I have been giving this subject my utmost consideration.
I am old enough and wise enough to realise that we are all different. Even what one woman deems highly romantic, may be a big turn off to another.
Sure some guys may whisk you off your feet, shower you with gifts and treat you to romantic dinners, but it may mean little to them in real terms.
Your partner of the last, however many years, may offer the smallest romantic gesture but due to circumstances, and the like, this could mean more than any trappings a rich guy could bestow on you.
A few years ago Hubby and I were holidaying on the Greek Island of Crete. Walking back across a shingle beach I made a song and dance about all the tiny stones in between my toes. As Hubby sat me on the beach and grabbed my feet he began painstakingly removing all the stones from my feet. I could do nothing but laugh. A German couple passed by and I heard the woman say "Ah das ist Liebe". That is love, to those unsure.
(Well, trust me over the years we have done worse for each other)
I remember smiling and thinking I know what you mean. Maybe not a romantic gesture but a loving one. It must have made an impression as that happened over 15 years ago,
Perhaps you are thinking that it made such as impression as it was a rare, loving gesture. No that's not the case. Hubby is not one of those suave, romantic devils who sweeps you off your feet but he has his moments. Perhaps it was knowing that a big man, well over six feet tall, had this gentle side to his nature.
Little gifts, occasional flowers, even without having a row and thoughtful gestures mean a lot to me.
On the whole, I think that you need to be able to see the romance to appreciate it. It you are hoping for the grand gesture then you are leaving yourself open for disappointment. You may also not notice the more heartfelt romance before your eyes.
These days I tend to ignore Valentine's day. This is not just because I have been married 37 years. My father-in-law died on Valentine's Day 1996 and this means that hubby often has more on his mind than romance on that day. If he buys a card, flowers, choccies, a gift or what you will all well and good.
If he doesn't?
Well there 364 or 365 more days of the year when he can romance me, and I him.
Don't forget girls that romance works both ways. You do need to bear in mind though that many men are aliens in comparison to females, so do not not automatically expect them to act as we do.
We are all individuals after all.
I started this hubmob early in the week and then got side tracked with the terrible events in Haiti. Sorry if I have lost my thread. Romance seemed a little hard to comprehend with so many people displaced, dead or dying.
I have been busy writing for Haiti at sites such as InfoBarrel and Helium, which are donating to the relief fund. Drop by if you have time