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Men and Women Do Not View Romance in the Same Way

Updated on August 22, 2018
ethel smith profile image

With a keen interest in British politics this writer is never afraid to share her opinion

Men and Women

What is it they say about women being from Mars and men from Venus. No that''s not right is it? Men are from Mars and women from Venus.

Either way it is a certain fact that men and women think very differently.

Perhaps we are not from different planets but at times it does feel as if we are a totally different species.

So what about in the romance stakes? Is a man simply after one thing when he is young? Do men appreciate romance? Can men even comprehend what romance is?

Is it all just wham, bam, thank-you ma'am.

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So I have been giving this subject my utmost consideration.

I am old enough and wise enough to realize that we are all different. Even what one woman deems highly romantic, may be a big turn off to another.

Sure some guys may whisk you off your feet, shower you with gifts and treat you to romantic dinners but it may mean little to them in real terms.

Your partner of the last however many years may offer the smallest romantic gesture but due to circumstances this could mean more than any trappings a rich guy could bestow on you.

During a vacation on the Greek Island of Crete a small gesture made a big impression.

Walking back across a shingle beach I made a song and dance about all the tiny stones sticking in between my toes.

My man sat me on the beach and grabbed my feet as he began to painstakingly remove all the stones from my feet but could do nothing but laugh and giggle.

A German couple passed by and I heard the woman say "Ah das ist Liebe".

That is love, for those of you unsure.

(Well, trust me over the years we have had to do far worse for each other)

I remember smiling and thinking I know what you mean.

Maybe not a romantic gesture but a loving one.

It must have made an impression as that happened years ago but remembering it still makes me smile.

Perhaps you are thinking that it made such as impression on me as it was a rare, loving gesture but no that's not the case.

My husband is not one of those suave, sophisticated, romantic devils who sweeps you off your feet but he has his moments.

Perhaps it was knowing that a big man, well over six feet tall, had this gentle side to his nature.

Little gifts, occasional flowers, even without having a row, and thoughtful gestures mean a lot to me.

On the whole, I think that you need to be able to see the romance to appreciate it.

If you are hoping for the grand gesture then you are leaving yourself open for the big disappointment. You may also not notice the more heartfelt romance there before your eyes.

These days I tend to ignore Valentine's day but this is not just because I have been married almost 46 years.

It is also because father-in-law died on Valentine's Day 1996 which means that my man often has more on his mind than romance that day.

If he buys a card, flowers, chocolates, a gift or what you will all well and good.

If he doesn't?

Well there 364 or 365 more days of the year when he can romance me and I him.

Don't forget girls that romance works both ways.

You do need to bear in mind though that many men are aliens by comparison to females so do not not automatically expect them to act as we do.

We are all individuals after all.


Men and women are programmed very differently from a young age.

Some of it s genetic, some is natural differences but some is how we are taught from a young age by our parents, siblings, teachers and friends.

In the 21st Century some of the stereo-typical toys for boys or girls and types of education are interchangeable between the sexes.

But there still exists bias and bigotry.

Boys are still encouraged to be tough and sensitivity is not encouraged while it is acceptable for a female to cry and show compassion.

This can lead to expectations which have to be fulfilled.

But Romance Is Timeless

Even in centuries past romance existed.

When men were men

Some men view romance as a means to an end, others as necessary at times but there are men who simply get pleasure from the happiness their romancing brings their loved one.

It is probably fair to say though that a majority of women love romantic gestures.

Whether it is that women like it or not tend to have a softer side or that men are trained from a young age to fulfill a different role is not clear but the conclusion has to be yes men and women can be very different.

© 2010 Ethel Smith


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