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Does Love At First Sight Really Happen?

Updated on April 22, 2015

If you have ever fallen in love at first sight, it is frequently a one sided affair. If it happens to two people at first sight, it seems to a kiss from God. It happens all the time in movies and everyone hopes that it will happen to them. My own experience confirms that it does happen and when it does neither party ever forgets the experience, even if they breakup later. In my case, the falling in love instantaneously happened between me and her. I saw her and she saw me. At the time, the emotion was absolutely electrical and magnetic. As I approached her for the first time, she kept glancing towards me with a smile. Our eyes fixated on the other. When we spoke, there was such an magnetic eagerness to continue, a never let it end jabbering about trivial things that others got bored about. Everything clicked and was in sync with the other. One just knows it, instinctively. Later, the lovemaking was incredible. Later, she told me that as soon as she spotted me, she knew I WAS the one. Something about my aura just attracted her to me and I to her. It was a great two years, then, it ended abruptly by her.

She was very diplomatic about it. I was shattered. She told me that our special time together had passed. That, people in life, cross into another's path of life for a purpose, it was destiny if both allowed it. Free will always supersedes whether a person chooses to remain on their life path or to veer off it. She was a psychic and told me that our paths crossed two years ago and now were parting, that I would never see her again. Looking back, there was something awe inspiring about it all, while it was not true, eternal, love, it was real love and amazingly intense. It was like kindred spirits reuniting from some past life where we were lovers. I still think about it at times.

However, according to scientists, love at first sight is a matter of timing and self-assurance. Just because it does happen, it does not mean it will last forever (as was in my case). A recent poll by Match.com showed that in the 5000 that responded (ages 21-70), 59% of the men believed in love at first sight, while 49% women said it happens. Oddly, only 41% of the men did experience it and 29% of women did.

According to the Kinsey Institute, men fall in love faster than women because they are very visual creatures. The first attraction is physical, always, while women are slower and more discerning. Of course, the physical attraction is always important to women but they tend to weigh in other factors. The study also showed that the period of the most intense romantic love between mates lasts from 18 mos. to three years. It is a genetic thing and revolves around reproduction and bonding. It is during this time that dopamine, the love drug, flushes into their systems much like a heroin high creating a craving to be with the other. You think about them, want them, touch them. It is all emotional. The sexual craving is all testosterone driven in both sexes. The two are partners in love at first sight and can exist without the other.

How to fall in love

According to the Institute, to fall in love, you need:

  • Mutual physical attraction
  • You desire them
  • You have to feel that the other mate likes you

If you are not mentally ready to fall in love, then don't try. If you are not ready for whatever reason, it will seem more like work and hard. You become angry and send off negative emotions. Keep in mind that only 5-10% of those looking online for love ever find it and while the technology helps, the downside is if you are not considered attractive. The attractive people receive the bulk of the responses to their profile, while average or less, hardly receive any. This may hurt your personal outlook.

If it is not love at first sight, then many couples are on a slower burn to love and then suddenly it hits both of them. With my parents, it only took one dance after each had spied the other from across the dance floor. They date and within three months were married. The remained married for 30 years until death.

Yeah, love at first happens!

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    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR

      perrya 

      3 years ago

      Thanks for the post, I agree. Being online in search of love can even be a more cautious thing because of worries of idenity theft, fraud, scammers, whackos.

    • Dr Billy Kidd profile image

      Dr Billy Kidd 

      3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Good post. I can see you've done some research!

      Here's some more ideas on love:

      There's many different types of feeling love for another. Some people are mentally geared to have their in-love button get pushed almost reflexively. When someone stares into their eyes at their first encounter, that type of person often goes bonkers.

      Other's, of course, are more geared to have the sexual feeling kick in before that. Still others need to be friends first before the in-love button goes off--which changes the balance of one's hormones and neurotransmitters (those chemicals that connect different parts of the brain).

      Then there are those who need to feel like family or feel a need to help another person and care about their future--before the in-love button goes off.

      When those in-love hormones and neurotransmitters go back to normal (like you said, within 18 to 30 months) a person either falls out of love or moves to the second stage of being in-love. That is when you stop obsessing on your partner and instead feel rewarded sometimes just to be around him or her. This is caused by the dopamine neurotransmitters kicking in response to being with your partner.

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