ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Does Marriage Matter?

Updated on April 18, 2012

4 stages leading to marriage

The Tree of Love
The Tree of Love
Wedding rings and marriage vows
Wedding rings and marriage vows
Wedding bouquet
Wedding bouquet
The marriage license
The marriage license

The timing of the proposal isn't all that matters

Let me say first off that I believe in marriage. I believe that marriage builds stronger families and a better society. The commitment two people make to each other, to be together “for better or worse”, is more than a promise for a future of happiness together. Quite literally, marriage is a vow.

Now, I’m not saying that marriage will heal issues couples may find with their relationship. Marriage does not “fix” a bad relationship, it just hides the bad stuff to be revisited later in life.

Marriage also does not guarantee people will grow together rather than apart. We all have ideas on how our lives should unfold and they don’t always agree with other viewpoints or ideas.

As well, children should not be the cause of a marriage, they should be the reason. If you weren’t committed to each other enough to get married before children came into the relationship then you really need to consider how much more your lives will change and if remaining together is the best solution with children in the picture.

You and your significant other need to approach marriage as the way to grow together and create a life together. Loyalty and promises of a future together, without a plan of how each of you see the future unfolding, together and individually, is not enough planning to provide a solid foundation for a marriage.

If you’re ready for marriage and your partner isn’t, you can only try so hard to change the person’s mind about your future together. Sometimes people just aren’t in the “same place” as far as the true motivations that steer the relationship and how the future is perceived.

If you push very hard in one direction you may very well push the person you care about most away. But to be fair to yourself sometimes you need to ask the hard questions to get a straight answer, or an answer you’re willing to accept.

Deciding the rest of your life can happen in a moment or over a much, much longer period of time. Love does not often allow for “weighing the consequences” or writing out a list of “for” and “against” options. But you should never feel rushed into marriage either by circumstance or by an internal time clock, or by comparing yourself to people that you know that are taking that big step into marriage.

When you decide to consider the possibility of you being asked to marry the one you love, don’t get too far ahead of yourself. Stay out of “fantasy-land” and keep your feet on the ground until the question is popped. You may have your answer ready but you do need to wait until you are asked, unless you’re the one that’s going to be asking the question.

Lead with your heart but follow with your brain. The only real options to consider are twofold:

- Will a proposal of marriage be forthcoming?

- Will I be ready to make the commitment and to answer yes or no?

Only you can provide the answer if whether marriage matters.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)