Does Mr. Right Really Exist?
And Always Finding Mr. Wrong!
Are You Looking For Mr. Right?
Are you a single woman, desperately seeking Mr. Right? Do you spend your Saturday nights crying into your Chardonnay watching repeats of 'Sex and The City' praying for your Mr. Big? Do you dream of finding your Prince Charming?
A Prince who preferably has a good job, a nice car and a decent house (not his mother's). A Prince who is trendy, good-looking, funny, witty, kind, considerate, passionate, reliable, trustworthy, keen in the kitchen, not keen on football and if possible with a condo in the Bahamas although Europe is an option. Would you count yourself among women actively looking for the perfect partner with impeccable manners, completely house trained and with shares in Louis Vuitton? The only other credentials that you would find attractive (although not essential) are single and childless. Oh! and no weird animals (including his friends).
If you're reading this, unaware of your nodding head and growing smile, perhaps it's possible that your Mr. Right doesn't exist! Indeed perhaps it's time to face up to reality and look for a real man. Yes: a real live man and not the figment your vivid imagination has created.
A real live man that typically does a lot of what you don't like and very little of what you do like. A man who by all means is anything but Mr. Right, will never be Mr. Big and as for Prince Charming: lets just say he's more on the frog front.
Lets be honest here! No, your expectations are not that high and no, putting the toilet seat down is really not being fussy. I am in total agreement that dirty socks don't belong on the floor and eating last nights pizza out of the box (which was in the bin (the outside bin)) does take a little getting used to. And no, breaking wind in-front of your mother is not acceptable especially when it's at the dinner table. Being drunk in-front of your friends isn't that acceptable either and wearing the same underpants for a week (the ones he farted in no less) is just down right rude. But you have to look on the bright side: he's met your mother and he doesn't go commando.
I think it's possible you want too much at one time. Perhaps you can want somethings some of the time and none of the things all of the time. I am sure that this would work. I also think a mantra works wonders. It works for me: let me share...
''The little things never bother me much.''
Say or think this every time he:
- breaks wind
- eats (anything)
- drinks (anything)
- wears ill fitting clothes
- wears his favorite jumper
- watches football
- sings in the shower
- is in the shower
- doesn't clean the shower
- uses your towel
- wears your fluffy dressing gown
- drops his clothes on the floor
- spits toothpaste everywhere
- makes dinner
- makes a mess making dinner
- eats dinner (sorry said this already)
- spills something in the fridge
- leaves an empty carton in the fridge
- goes anywhere near the fridge
- goes out with his mates
- stays in with his mates
- his mates
- snores loudly
- doesn't make the bed when he's last up
- gets up
- over fills the bin
- doesn't empty the bin
- eats pizza out of the bin (sorry, said this again)
- leaves the clothes in the washing machine
- leaves the dishes in the dishwasher
- never hangs the clothes out
- always forgets shopping items
- buys cakes
- buys chocolates
- always forgets shopping items (grr)
OK it's possible that there's not enough hours in the day to be true to your mantra but I'm sure you get my drift.
Need a Few Tips: Choosing Mr. Right
Does Mr. Right Exist?
Does Mr. Right exist? For want of another word: the simple answer is, no. No! Mr. Right does not exist. Mr. Right is a fairy tale. Mr. Right will not come along if you wait. Mr. Right will not come along if you choose Mr. Wrong. Mr. Wrong will never ever be, morph or grow into Mr. Right: not now, not in a million years of evolution. No! Mr. Right does not exist. You have more chance of meeting Santa Claus than meeting Mr. Right and Mrs Claus would rule out any growing relationship for sure.
What does this mean a part from the fact that you and Santa are never going to get it on? It means that you have two options: keep crying into your Chardonnay or do the mantra.
"The little things never bother me much."
Oh! Just thought of another option. Option three (my favorite) combine the two: Chardonnay and mantra...
Do You Think Mr. Right Exists?
Mr. Right? Is He The One?
© 2013 Gabriel Wilson