True Love - Does Society Create Too Much Pressure to Find It?
Till Death Do Us Part ... Really?
Pressure of Love
Does the society we live in put too much pressure on us to spend our lives looking for true love in someone else?
It seems to me that even as children we are taught that we need someone else, outside of our family, to love us in order for us to be complete.
The message is in movies, music, videos, TV series, books and magazines. We are surrounded by media that implies we are not complete without the love of someone else in our world. We are told we need someone else to verify our validity as a worthy human being.
Our family's love is not enough.
Set Up for Failure?
I am starting to think that we are being set up to strive for something that is not necessarily the be all and end all goal of life. Too many people become trapped in this unrealistic and unattainable goal. They spend their life searching for something that they don't need to be a whole person. In other words we are being set up for failure.
50% of marriages collapse and end in divorce. Brutal, hateful disputes over money, children and possessions by spouses who once loved each other enough to make a lifetime commitment turn ugly and vindictive. Murders happen because of failed relationships and fear of retribution.
It makes me stop and wonder. What kind of society has been created as a result of the expectations of mating for life?
Real Love not "True Love"
The most important person in this world is us, as individuals.
Love needs to start with self. To love oneself is the most important achievement of all. Without the true love of oneself first, there can be no true acceptance of love of any kind in a world outside the family home. There, we are hopefully lucky enough to have been blessed with unconditional love through the love of our mothers and fathers.
Collectively we can create magic in so many ways and in so many types of relationships.
By working together to achieve goals, hopes and dreams, even unfulfilled, the accomplishment of working collectively can be unbelievably exhilarating.
Do we need a single individual, tied by a sexual bond, to confirm our beneficial existence?
I am becoming very aware that we are constantly being pressured by society. Media influence, churches of our time, writers and everyone who has been influenced by anything they have ever read or seen point us in one direction. To find a partner.
Classic Films of Love Stories
have Shaped How We Think
By the time I turned 25 years old I had not married. I had been asked 4 times by then, but not by a man who I honestly felt I could commit to living with for the rest of my life, so I remained alone.
As a result I was passive aggressively scorned by those around me.
It was hurtful, stressful and put undo pressure on me to fulfill the dreams that everyone else had. As a result, I determined that my career path would be my immediate goal, and I followed it.
I'm not saying that true love doesn't exist, I believe it does. I am now very happily married. I was patient and picky.
My parents is a love story like in the fairy tales, but it takes work, and I was lucky enough to be a witness. It takes hard work to achieve the continued success that comes with any long term relationship. They don't mention that in fairy tales do they?
It's interesting that most fairy tales end when the happy couple gets married... Why is that?
Is the reality that marriage and true love take work withheld to entrap us all into believing love conquers all?
Well if you have had a partner of any kind in life, you know this isn't true. Love, hard work and commitment, is what a real partnership takes to keep going.
Do the benefits to society outweigh the torture endured by those who suffer the consequences of unsuccessful and failed relationships?
Society doesn't just push us to fall in love - they dictate who it's okay to fall in love with. The colour of skin, the age and the sex of any given partner must be acceptable. The consequences? Society freely mocks, ridicules and points the finger at those who don't follow the "rules".
But, because society keeps changing it's mind on the type of partner that's okay, the rules constantly change. How fair is that?
True Love Exists But
There's a manipulation by our society happening here that I am finding more and more difficult to accept.
Too many lives are being ruined, lost and destroyed to support a notion brought on by fairy tales. Too many children are being left out, both emotionally and physically after being brought into this world then forgotten in a mess created by grownups. Parents become self involved while trying to achieve a dream that exists mostly in books, movies and music.
Being in Love is a Hard Job
I believe true love exists but can only be found when it is stumbled upon. In moments when we are at a place where we truly know and love ourselves, happy with who we are and our circumstances is when love appears.
Holding onto, nourishing and encouraging love to grow takes hard work. Communication and compromise are key. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, honest and trusted opens the door to growing a relationship to a level that is solid.
Do you feel society pressures us to find "true" love?
One Love - Playing for Change
© 2012 eye say