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Breaking up: How to do it.

Updated on December 22, 2015

Do it in person

Even if you believe that breaking up is easier through text or a normal call, it isn't the right way! Instead when you do it in person or in a long distance relationship through video calling you can make that person feel a little better about the break up and they won't take it in the wrong way. Instead if you do it through a text or in a simple phone call then your ex-partner could be pissed or feel really depressed. No one knows what can really happen and if you do it face to face and they are still mad. Then let them be, at least you know you did things right.

Don't wait

Don't wait around for the perfect occasion to break up because the longer you wait, the worst the break up will be for your partner. The best thing to do is basically tell them that both of you need to talk and be direct.

Most people might say that you need to be a little gentle which isn't wrong either but don't give them hopes of coming back together. Instead it will be for the best if you're completely honest about the situation, how you feel and why you feel like breaking up is the best idea.

This actually will hurt your partner quite a lot but there is no bulletproof method of breaking up. After all everyone would be using a method that wouldn't hurt their partner if it was possible.

Speak with them a little

Breaking up might make you seem like a cold person even if it is for the best but don't leave it as it is. Try speaking with them some more and make them understand you. You will understand your ex-partner this way a little more and make the process of the break up a little less hurtful for them as well as making you feel less guilty about it.

Speaking is basically the best method of helping everyone heal after a breakup of most kinds. If it doesn't work at all and they still feel betrayed or they are mad at you then just leave. There is no point in wasting your time with a person that won't even try to understand

Don't give them wings

By "Giving wings "I refer to give them hope for both of you to be back together. Because of this giving them hope is not really the best idea to give them any hope at all because in the case that you don't go back with them again then they could get the idea that you just played with them,

This could lead to quite a lot of trouble for you, they could get mad or feel betrayed if you give them wings so it's best if you're direct with him/her and tell him/her whether you think of going back or not, this would be great to avoid getting into some unnecessary trouble

Stop communicating with them

After a breakup there can be a really hurtful period where multiple feelings will come out. The best way to avoid any unwanted trouble for both of you is really just shutting all communication after all. An ex-partner should stay that way, speaking generally of course. Both of you need to move on and to do that most of the time is for the best to stop communicating with each other. Even if it seems cold, it really helps the process of both healing and moving on.

Let them be

After you broke up with a person they might be mad at you and even might try to do something stupid trying to get you back (only in some cases of course). The best thing that you can do is let them be, if they hate you then whatever, if they keep loving you just avoid them if you don't to be with them again.

Whatever they do as long as it doesn't bother you or affects you at all then don't pay any attention about it. After all some people are really immature and try to do stupid things to get what they want so don't let them have it their way either.

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      Abelardo Lara 20 months ago

      I believe your point of the violent temper is completely right, of course there will always be a partner who's temper causes the breakup and if they are in fact violent or like you said don't put them in a situation where they have to drive is actually pretty true, some people might get upset and try to do something quite stupid.

      I guess there are some exceptions for every case but I believe it depends on how each person reacts to the breakup.

      In both of your points I do agree with you but it doesn't need to be at someone's place it could be in a coffee shop in case the person might feel threatened since no one knows. Your partner that seemed to be calm during the breakup could rage.

      Who knows, it's really complicated to understand every single person.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 20 months ago

      Great advice!

      I would allow for an exception with regard to doing it in person.

      This is especially true if you are aware that your soon to be ex has a violent temper. There have been documented cases of people being murdered while breaking up in person.

      However if there is no history of violence then by all means breakup in person and I would suggest doing it at (their place).

      This puts you in a position to leave when you've said all you need to say. It's also good not put them in a situation where they have drive after getting some potential upsetting news.

      "Don't give them wings" - That's really great advice!

      Too often people breaking up with others want to avoid looking like the "bad guy" so they'll offer "instant friendship" as a consolation prize. Naturally the other person thinks over time you may reconcile. Therefore they will accept "friendship" with the hope of getting you back.

      The best friendships between exes usually occurs after they've been apart for several months or years and have each found a new love.

      Every ending is a new beginning!