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Domestic Abuse/Violence

Updated on September 10, 2014

Domestic Abuse/Violence is a scary topic for more people than you would think. Simply because it hits so close to home. Within this Hub I want to talk about how common domestic violence and domestic abuse is and the different types. Why people stay and what it is that makes them finally leave.

Domestic Abuse/Violence Facts & Stats

How common is it?

Well we all know what has been all over the news these past few days, how video came out of NFL player Ray Rice punched his fiance (at the time, now wife) in the face knocking her out then dragging her body out of the elevator. … Then fiance Now wife. There has been a lot of skepticism about this situation from everyone. Not just about did the NFL do the right thing with his punishment, but also why did she stay?

Anytime there is a situation like this How, What and Why are always pondered. How did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? Why did he do it? How could she still be with him? What did she do to make him so angry? Why did she stay? How can she get help? What can she do to stop it? How can she leave? So many questions!

How can something so horrible become common? The sad thing is it is ever too often overlooked, excused, or denied. Too many women are simply embarrassed about the fact that they are “weak”, “at fault”, “guilty” or so they feel. Too many times in this situation the women (or men) blames herself over blaming the man (or in cases woman, lets be realistic it does not go one way).

Let me clear up any confusion here real quick, what exactly is the difference of domestic violence and domestic abuse? Domestic violence involves physical violence to one's partner. While domestic abuse involves act of trying to dominate or control the other partner.

So just how common is domestic abuse/violence? Well according to the statistics on http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/domestic-violence-statistics/ and http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics--facts-52.html :

  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

  • Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence. (but it happens to women of all ages)

  • 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.

  • Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.

  • Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.

  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

  • Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men

  • Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.

  • Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The Types of Domestic Abuse/Violence

What are the types?

Now what are the types of domestic abuse/violence? There are seven forms: physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, identity, technological and economic/financial.

  • Physical abuse/violence is the act of inflicting or attempting to inflict physical injury.

  • Sexual abuse/violence is coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent.

  • Psychological abuse is the act of instilling or attempting to instill fear in their domestic partner.

  • Emotional abuse is the undermining or attempting to undermine the victims sense of worth.

  • Identity abuse is using personal characteristics to demean, manipulate and control the partner.

  • Technological abuse includes the use of technology to control and stalk a partner.

  • Economic/Financial abuse is the act of making or attempting to make the victim financially dependent on him/her.

Have you ever been a victim of domestic abuse/violence?

See results

#whyistayed and #whyileft

Why people stay? Why they finally leave?

I feel the best way to touch you with these next two sections are by using posts on Twitter.

  • #whyistayed I was feeling severely disillusioned, confused, & doubting myself.
    I didn't know my options.I had no resources of my own anymore

  • #whyistayed I didnt want my kids to be without their father #whyileft I didnt want my kids to be without me

  • #whyistayed: He promised to make my life worse if I left. He delivered. #whyileft: Counselor said, "It will be worse, but only for 18 mos."

  • #whyistayed? I didn't know I was experiencing emotional & verbal abuse #whyileft: I realized I was worth more than his words made me believe

  • I felt shame being a single mother. #whyistayed I felt worse knowing my daughter saw him hit me #whyileft

  • I believed in the man I wanted him to become...not the man he was. #whyistayed

  • You know leaving will include a period of being worse before it gets better & the idea of it being worse is paralyzing. #whyistayed

  • Because I was never taught emotional abuse counted as abuse #whyistayed

  • #whyistayed because it takes OVERWHELMING evidence to prove a man is unfit to see his children, and I was scared of weekend visits.

  • #whyistayed Because he treated me just like my dad treated my mother. #whyileft Because he treated me just like my dad treated my mother.

  • #whyistayed because you really DON'T know how bad it is until you get out of it. Love & support from others is needed to build up bravery.

  • #whyistayed I thought that he was my best friend. #whyileft I became my own best friend.

  • "#whyistayed: Kept telling myself if he didn’t hit me, it wasn’t abuse.#whyileft: Learned I didn’t have to get beaten to fear for my life."

  • Domestic Violence frequently involves financial abuse, which restricts partners' abilities to leave. #whyistayed #whyileft

  • #whyistayed I had no idea that emotional abuse was a real thing or that I was a victim #whyileft the emotional abuse turned physical.

  • #whyistayed I had no idea that emotional abuse was a real thing or that I was a victim #whyileft the emotional abuse turned physical.

  • #whyistayed I promised to give him 5 years after he hit me the first time #WhyIleft my daughter tried to kill herself when she was 4

  • #whyistayed because he isolated me from friends and family and I had no one to turn to when the abuse started

  • #whyistayed Because when he said he was sorry, I trusted that meant it wouldn't happen again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

  • people told me i was the crazy one, my friends defended him, he was the king of gaslighting, he told me we were soulmates. #whyistayed

Where is HELP?

There are actually quite a few options out there. Your local DOVE, 911 for immediate assistance, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE), plus others in local areas. There are groups that offer assistance and shelter for you if needed.


Remember YOU are NOT at fault, YOU are NOT alone!


This subject is not a fun one, but it is one that still so many people are not educated on, or chose not to be knowledgeable about it. Please share this to help, even if it is just to let someone know they are not alone. Thank you.


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© 2014 Elizabeth

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