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Domestic Violence Has Claimed Another Victim! She Was Murdered By A Controlling, Maniacal Spouse!

Updated on December 1, 2010

He Won't Be Charged With Murder! Verbal Abuse And Control Are Not Crimes!

Another life has been taken by domestic violence, yet he will never spend a day in jail. This beautiful young victim left two equally beautiful children that this cold-blooded killer will now raise. He has already destroyed them with the yelling, screaming and constant belittling of their mother. They heard all of it. He would involve the older child in their arguments. He would ask this young daughter, "You see the way your mother is acting! Am I wrong to yell at her?" "No, daddy, you are right." The child had already learned what it would mean for her if she spoke up for her mother. She was just trying to survive. It will continue with the children. He has already told these children that they are stupid and that is just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe they will survive it. Their mother did not. She never believed that the control or verbal torture was really abuse. She gave excuses for his behavior and after living with this animal for ten years, it finally destroyed her. Towards the end, she was on anti-depressants, an anti-psychotic and numerous psychiatric drugs designed for anxiety. He didn't need any counseling, because her mental instability was her weakness and not his fault.

There was nothing left of the bubbly, laughing, smart person she once was. She was a zombie, beaten down by years of control and the verbal abuse that never stopped. She couldn't remember from one minute to the next what she had been talking about, she was on auto-pilot and never, ever admitted that she and her children were being abused. "It's not abuse. He is just controlling," she would say. "He loves me and he keeps track of where I am and what I do because he worries about me." And she had cheated on him once. She had reached out to someone who showed her some kindness, however fleeting. He had to keep track of her. He had to make sure that she didn't do it ever again. Of course! That is why he had access to her computer available work schedule. That is why he printed out the times that she clocked out and compared it to how long it would take her to get home from work. She was surprised when she came home from work and the spreadsheet was laid out on the counter and she had to explain why her trip home took 30 minutes one night but 60 minutes on the next. She was always surprised when he would go into her on-line work schedule and sign her up for additional hours. They always needed more and more money, alot of it because of her mental problems and the copays for her meds. She knew it was alright that he checked the pockets of her clothes, that he went through her purse every day. It was not abuse. He just had control issues.

That is why she had no idea how much money he made or how much money she made. She gave him her tips every night after her shift as a food server. She gave him her paycheck every week. He was worse than a pimp. At least the pimp will give his women some of the money they earned.  If she had to spend any money, he had to know the details. If the kids needed clothes, he would rage that she was spending money without consulting him. She was being disrespectful and that would not be tolerated. He checked her emails and he checked her phone logs and messages. This was not abuse. He was just controlling and that is not abuse. When computer equipment, flat screen TV's and other 'man' toys were delivered to the house on an almost daily basis, those were necessities. Of course it was reasonable that he put a flat screen TV in the garage. He needed that so that he could watch TV while he exercised. The 28-inch computer monitor was a necessity. He never needed to explain any purchases, much less consult her in advance, but the day she spent $85.00 without asking, well that meant he could not pay the mortgage.

When she wanted to take classes to become a nurse, he told her how stupid she was. This woman, who was once interested in all life had to give, could no longer do simple math. Of course she could not become a nurse. Besides, he was going to school and her education was not a part of his plan. She had co-signed his $30,000.00 student loan so that he could get his undergraduate degree. That and his mother's donation of $1300.00 a month allowed him to buy a degree from a no-name school. And then he just had to get his master's. So any education for her was out of the question. Besides, she couldn't afford a babysitter, he told her.

Naturally, he confided in the children, telling them everything about their mother. He didn't think there was a problem that his young daughter became his confidante, his new wife, so to speak. These children needed to know how worthless their mother was and how wonderful he was.

In the early years, shortly after the birth of their daughter, he beat her up. He tried to choke her on several occasions. Finally, he was arrested and charged with domestic violence. He pled guilty and took the mandatory 52 week course on domestic violence. He spent several weekends in jail. His grandparents paid for his attorney. Grandpa also paid to have his record expunged. Supposedly, he never hit her again. Instead, he mastered the fine art of verbal torture and control. You can't be arrested for that. You can't be charged for that. He would always tell her she should kill herself, because she was worthless. She tried to and he used the attempt to set her up. He called her friends and family and told them that she had attempted suicide; that she was crazy and he had to protect his children from her. He had convinced her friends that she was a hopeless whore and drug addict. He convinced her that she was a whore, a drug addict and failure as a mother, that her kids didn't love her. She believed everything he said. In spite of the fact that there were people who loved her, in spite of the fact that there were people who tried to make her want to save herself, it didn't work.

This insane excuse for a human being that she called her husband finally succeeded. She was gone. Nothing remained of what she was. She was dead. He will never be charged. He will never spend a day in jail for his crimes.

But there are people who know the truth. There are people who know this monster for what he is and what he has done. They will not be quiet. They will not be controlled by this little man. They will tell anyone who will listen and they will never stop. Someday this maniac will be exposed for the murderer that he is. Someday he will face justice. The people who loved her will not forget. There will be no forgiveness, because he has destroyed a beautiful, loving, kind young woman. His children will come to hate him and he will never have a moment of peace in his miserable life.

Comments

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  • Jillian Barclay profile imageAUTHOR

    Jillian Barclay 

    7 years ago from California, USA

    Thank you, Cybersupe.

    The fact that this is so common may offer abuse the safety it needs to continue. People are not shocked by it and they should be. Everyone should be outraged by domestic violence! How can we stop it? I am not sure, because I am not an expert. But it must stop! How many victims? Too many!

    Cybersupe, I wish you a very merry Christmas, too, and a happy and healthy New Year!

  • CYBERSUPE profile image

    CYBERSUPE 

    7 years ago from MALVERN, PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A.

    Hi Jillian, what a story and it seems to be a very common story these days. Abuse is commonplace. Thanks Jillian and God Bless! Wishing You and Yours a very Merry Christmas.

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