Don't Stop Believing/ Brick by Brick
In that one moment I felt a wound, perhaps healing. I felt like a currently clogged part of my spirit had been opened, just a little, but enough to allow a bit of flow, and to generate some healing. It occurred to me, that perhaps we are like a wall. Every moment of pain and hurt takes away a brick, and every good and genuine moment helps us rebuild, brick by brick.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it wasn’t necessary to, neither is it with us. We don’t have to look at the rubble and go “Look at this mess! I’ll never be able to rebuild this” but just start, one brick at a time, and take all the time you need. I, myself, used to think it was completely unsalvageable, but this moment has opened my eyes. Sure, the wall my never be fully restored to what it was, or what it was going to be, but don’t ever completely give up on it. With time and effort, and the stuff that holds the bricks together in your life, whatever that may be at the time – a repair is still, at least, possible.
An amazing friend of mine, who I had not spoken to for a while said I was “lovely”. Sure, she probably says this to everyone, or it was just a figure of speech, but my heart felt that it was heartfelt. In that moment I felt a wave wash over me. Sure, I know the importance of self worth, and it’s something I practice, but maybe this was God’s way of showing me that there’s only a certain amount of the wall one can rebuild on their own. That the damaged caused by others can only be healed by others – it doesn’t even always have to be the same person.
This reminds me of the story of the dog who was used in a war sniffing out bombs, rescuing people, etc. Due to the horrors it experienced the dog developed a serious case of depression, it’s entire mood changed, it was a lot more jumpy in response to things, and most importantly it had completely lost its wag. It seemed like there was nothing they could do to get it back.
They decided to put it in a special place with people who would only show him love and affection. A place where he would only receive nurture and warmth. After plenty of love and care, over a long period of time they started to see improvements, and the first signs that it was getting its wag back again but it wasn't easy.
Isn’t that just like us? Maybe we can’t fix the damage so we’ve written ourselves off. Perhaps we are more like a tree than a wall. The damage done shows over time and can’t be undone, but the tree can still grow. Maybe if we surround ourselves with wonderful, loving people, more inside us can be rebuilt than what we could achieve on our own.
Perhaps we’ve lived through unspeakable horrors that others couldn’t possibly understand. If we let them, perhaps they will extend a bridge out to us that can help us move on to better things. Maybe healing isn’t possible to some because they’ve blocked off every channel in their lives, but if we leave them open just a little, then a little can still get through.
Love can still heal. It’s a powerful thing – especially God’s love. I realized through this one person (and I hope she knows who she is) that we should never give up on ourselves completely. Leave it open for a sequel, there is still a future, and there is still hope if you want it badly enough. The sun will still shine again, upon another day. Give yourself the chance to be able to see the light.
So the next time you feel like giving up on yourself, give up if you want, but make sure you give up – on giving up.