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Dos and Don'ts of Getting An Ex Back

Updated on December 28, 2016

A Note On compatibility

Is Love A Random Process?

There are several methods that you can try if you want to get your ex back, but not matter which method you try, keep in mind that if you want to get your ex back with any degree of permanence, then you have to try and make this person fall in love with you all over again. Unless you do this, then your ex has a high chance of leaving you again at any point in time.

Now you might be thinking that love is such a random process that it cannot possibly be controlled. If you were thinking of something along these lines, then here’s a question for you: Is love really such a random process? Could it be that love is just a normal emotion like stress, fear and anxiety? Also, just like any other emotions, is it possible that love can actually be controlled?

To cut right to the chase, the answer is a definite YES. The reason that you might think that love is a random, uncontrollable process or something that is predestined by fate is because just like everyone else, you have been programmed since you were young to believe in this false assertion by the TV and other media. Surely you must remember those fairytales, movies and TV series from your childhood and beyond that speak of one true love?

Just after a break up, you should not resort to desperate means in your attempts to get your ex back or you might just succeed in pushing your ex even further away from you. There are things that you should do and things that you should not do if you want to get your ex back.

What not to do to win your ex back

  • Don’t use blackmail: If you try to blackmail your ex to get back together, then it might work against you. First of all, your ex could simply ignore your threats – especially if they are quite light. Secondly, even if you do succeed in blackmailing your ex to get back with you, your relationship will be doomed to fail because it was never built upon love.
  • Don’t be desperate: Begging and other desperate tactics should never be utilized to get your ex back. This will only make you look pathetic in front of your ex and validate his/her decision to break up with you.
  • Don’t chase after your ex: Try to cut off contact with your ex for a few weeks after the break-up. This will condition your ex’s mind to miss you. If you go after your ex now, then you will simply come off as clingy and annoying.

What to do to win your ex back

  • Do try to get to the root cause of your break-up: During the course of your relationship, there were probably some problems that popped up during your relationship which may have contributed to the break-up. Try to figure out what these are so you can work out the root cause of your break-up. Furthermore, do not be afraid to admit that you made mistakes yourself.
  • Do address these problems: Once you have taken the time to rationalize and identify the problems which may have led to your break-up, take some positive action to actually address these problems.
  • Do improve yourself: Over-all, try to improve yourself as a person and use this time that you have away from your ex in order to take care of your appearance, body and mental well-being. Especially focus on improving your self-esteem.


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