Easy Ways to Deal With Know-it-Alls
Please take a
close look at the three photos below and do not make a hasty choice for this question: Which one of these three people is able to give you the most trouble in public or private? I am in no hurry, so sip your beverage and relax from a tough day at work. Now are you ready to answer me?
Shhhh! This man is Into a Deep Study
of some complex topic such as Quantum Physics or The Theory of Relativity. We do not want to disturb his thought processes. Let me introduce you to a man commonly known as a "bookworm."
Obviously This is not a Photo of a man
but a caricature of a very common person. We all see these people almost every day of our lives. At work, home, school or church. They are there. They are referred to as "smug people."
You Should Know This man by This Time
by the look on his face. No, he is not surveying a choice piece of real estate to purchase. No, he is not admiring a pretty girl. He is spying a group of average people who are enjoying a pretty day outside--talking, laughing and having a great time. This man is about to make everyone in this group very uncomfortable for he is the "know-it-all."
who doesn't possess a college degree. But he claims that he did have a degree in Calculus from M.I.T., but during a move from Boston to Austin, Texas, the valuable piece of paper somehow got misplaced.
When you offer to email or call M.I.T. to help him get a replacement diploma, he panics and goes into a tirade about people should mind their own business, meaning you, and the subject just falls to the floor.
Obviously he is hiding something. I can safely wager that he is hiding something alright. The truth. He only has a G.E.D. and had to labor to pass the test for this proof that he is a high school graduate.
Yes, it's our "Friend"
looking so smug, secure, and self-important. He should feel this way. He has spent hours studying up on almost every academic subject known to civilized man. He can even look, talk, and act the part of someone with an excelled I.Q.
Most people that he meets are instantly fooled by his intelligent act and body language. He has that look of importance on his face--with wrinkled forehead, squinted eyes, and gazing into open space as he is in a deep study of what you are talking about. And with just one remark from his smug mouth, you are hooked. You are now the willing prey in his "web of deceit."
If you Only Knew
ahead of time that the man who made your group uncomfortable was in fact a know-it-all, you might have had a better time and not had to go back home out of sheer irritation at this jerk, to be honest, who seemingly knew everything about everything no matter who brought up what subject.
What made you decide it was far better to go back home than to listen to this windbag was how you tried to follow his rambling (on and on) without stopping, was his dissertation about Why Bovine Creatures Breed Only in Fall and Spring. You knew this topic well for you studied it in high school, but "Mr. Know-it-all," put such an intelligent spin on this subject that you almost dozed off from his monotone voice.
Ask the Know-it-all to Demonstrate
whatever subject matter is is "blowing hot air" about into your face as well as your friends' faces.
All you do is steer the know-it-all in your clever trap by "baiting" him with this clever question: "Sir, do you know anything about Judo?" What is the know-it-all to say, but "Sure, my friend. I used to teach it years ago."
Then you stand back and say, "Great! Show us a few Judo moves that you taught." You also have a Judo instruction book in your back pocket that you can whip out when know-it-all makes a fool of himself by doing such bizarre moves that a contortionist would be jealous of him, and show him the real way to do a "Front Facial Lock Down."
Right now, Let's
get the smug person and the bookworm out of the way. You need no advice in how to deal with them. What you do need is my advice on the easy ways to deal with know-it-all's.
Use Pretense to Your Advantage and by that, I mean "act" as if you were in the original production of "Gone With The Wind" standing alongside of Clark "Rhett Butler" Gable when he is speaking those priceless lines in this American standard. You see, a know-it-all is not that smart himself, so he does not know that you are merely acting and will be taken in by your clever act and when he sees that you are listening, sooner or later his supply of facts will run dry and shut up.
Throw off his Thought Process by asking him tough questions at almost every turn. Even though you could care less about the answer, ask it to confuse his concentration. Hey, college and Professional football quarterback's do it. Especially when their team has only one yard to gain to get a first down, the quarterback will use a "hard count" and change his cadence when he gets under center--confusing the defense who will almost every time jump offsides and give the opposing offense the needed five yards for the first down.
Listen Carefully to the know-it-all's subject matter and just when you sense that he is confident that you are fooled by his high I.Q., stop and get him to elaborate deeper on the subject. Example: Thyroid Problems is a great subject to get know-it-all's in a tight place when you pursue them to elaborate.
Endure the Know-it-All to the end by focusing your thoughts on a completely different subject. Be sure to memorize a list of things to think about just in case you meet a know-it-all while you are out. So with this tip, all you have to really do is plaster a smile on your mug, think about the night you and your girlfriend enjoyed your first kiss and you have it made.
Be Informed on a few really important people--politicians, movie stars and singing stars. Find out a few facts about their backgrounds and when a know-it-all is forced to answer your trap question: "Mister, have you really met Brad Pitt?" What is the know-it-all to say? If he tells you the truth, his facade is over. He must maintain that intelligent look and way about himself. When he answers, "sure, Brad and I are great friends," you suddenly ask, "what about Brad's quirky ritual he has to do before each scene he films of him doing 33 push-up's and then eating a vanilla sundae?" Of course this is false as false can be.But know-it-all will bite on the bait and you can embarrass him with the truth and out of humiliation, he will head home.
Let Know-it-all's ego get the best of him by falsely acting impressed at every word that rolls off of his smug lips. Just say things like this: "Man, I wish I were as intelligent as you," and "Were you born with that head of knowledge or did you have to work for it?" Odds are, he will say that he was born with it. Know-it-all's are known bums who do not think that working is not required to gain wisdom.
Ask "Mr. Know-it-all" if you can see his diploma's and notice, I said diploma's for as you say to him, "someone as intelligent as you are must have attended more than one college." Of course he will say that he has attended up to three colleges and then you have him. Just innocently remark, "Oh, smart man! You wouldn't care if I saw these sheep skins would you?" No, he will not but I guarantee you that when you make the date to visit his home, he will have somewhere to do or something to do. So, my friend, you will never see his three diplomas.
Memorize the Dean's of several colleges like Harvard, Yale, New York University and Stanford University. Why? Because this is part of the plan to make the know-it-all look foolish when you ask him, "say, did you attend Yale?" "Sure," he will bellow with pride. Then you whip out your background on Yale such as, "Then you must have met Dean Johansen when you were there?" Again, he will say, "Yes. He and I had several deep intellectual discussions," then you say, "Sir, there is no Dean Johansen," and show him the proof and bam! He suddenly remembers an appointment he has to keep.
Don't you see now friends that by doing one or all of the above, you do not have to be intimidated by any know-it-all's--at all.
Good night, Bakersville, California.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery