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Body Language 101: How To Tell on a Date If a Girl Likes You.

Updated on September 16, 2018
Timothy Anderson profile image

Tim Anderson is a freelance writer/researcher with articles published in The Saturday Evening Post, Playboy magazine, TV Guide, and others.

The Dating Game

Let's face it: going out on a first date can be downright scary.

Whether you used an online dating site, got set up by a friend, used a popular dating app, or simply asked the girl four cubicles down from yours at work to have dinner, typically it's the guy who sticks his neck out, risking rejection.

If you're looking for love, or simply enjoy dating girls, then here are some time proven body language clues your date might demonstrate if she's enjoying her time with you that can help set up a second date.

1. Twirling Hair

This is one of the most solid body language clues that she likes you: a playing or twirling with her hair.

She is subconsciously grooming herself, wanting to look her best. Of course, if she's gone to some effort before your date to style her hair nicely, that's a tip-off she felt you were worth her time.

This body language tip-off can manifest in several ways: messing around with her hair, or perhaps running her fingers through it. Maybe just a quick hand pass over the top of her head to make everything is in place. Or maybe she does a gentle head flip to push her hair away from her face, or pushes her hair back exposing her neck.

Almost any gesture touching or dealing with her hair can be viewed as positive. It simply means that subconsciously she wants to look good.

2. Leaning Into You

Like hair twirling, this body language tip-off is a big one: leaning toward you.

This is a common body language message understood worldwide. People who don't like each other tend to lean away from each other, unconsciously wanting to put as much distance between themselves as possible.

You will often see this in the news when political opponents are seated next to each other at a dinner or social event.

When people enjoy your company, they will face you and lean slightly toward you, making sure they can clear hear every word you speak. If your date moves slightly toward you, that's even better. If she is leaning away, is looking around, or puts more distance between you, that's a sign she's not that interested. If her arms are crossed as you converse, that's not a good sign; it means subconsciously she's protecting herself and putting up a barrier.

When you have the two signs of hair touching and leaning toward you, these are two golden clues that the woman is enjoying your company!

3. The Head Nod

As you engage in conversation, watch for any sign of gentle head-nodding. Typically this means she is agreeing with, or enjoying what you're saying.

The nodding may be barely visible and continual, or it may be sporadic and with two or three quick nods, often accompanied with a smile.

Sometimes she may mirror your own facial features or head gestures, and if so, this is a good sign she's enjoying your company and the conversation.

However, if during the conversation her head is still, there is no smile or leaning, perhaps this is a good time to move on to other topics. A lack of a smile or a cold expression are not good signs the date is going well, and you may want to give your favorite online dating site another try.

4. Legs Will Talk

If a woman is enjoying your company, her legs can be giving off valuable clues. This clue can be a bit more challenging to interpret, so it's best to watch for some of the signs I've already explained.

If you're walking together, does she seem to have a "spring" in her step? When standing still, is she rocking slightly back and forth or up and down on the balls of her feet? If so, these are often subtle signs she's happy, as in "happy feet."

Another thing to watch for is when she's sitting. If her legs are together and feet flat on the floor, motionless and inactive, she may be showing boredom. But if her legs are crossed and the upper leg is slightly moving up and down, or if her foot is gently twirling in a small circle, these can be positive signs, especially when paired with a head nod, leaning, or hair twirling.

The more subtle positive body language signs she gives, the greater the possibility she's enjoying the time she's spending with you, and a second date might just be a reality!

5. The "Eyes" Have It!

Eye contact is everything, especially over lunch or dinner.

Hopefully, your date will meet your gaze with matching interest. Consistent eye contact is a good thing. As you converse, especially over dinner, is she looking directly into your eyes with a friendly and warm posture? It means she's listening to you and paying attention to what you are saying. On a more advanced scale of body language, enlarged pupils can indicate interest and desire, although in today's world, this can also mean she's taking antidepressants or some other medication. So if you observe dilated pupils in your date, make sure to watch for other telltale signs that suggest the dilation is because she likes what she sees.

If she is looking around distractedly, glancing at her watch or looking down at her cell phone, or simply avoiding eye contact, these are not good signs. If there is activity of some sort going on around you and she appears to be more interested in watching this than looking at you, this is a bad sign.

Hopefully, she be learning toward you, occasionally twirling her hair, seated in a relaxed and open posture, and looking deep into your eyes.

All good signs -- you can tuck away that list of online dating sites and start to focus on this interesting possibility!

6. Touching

Finally this tip-off is more likely to happen toward the end of the date. It's touching. It means she's become comfortable with you.

As your date has progressed, did she brush up against you? Your arm, maybe? Or after sharing a deep thought or perhaps a joke, did she reach over and pat or touch your arm or even take your hand, even briefly?

Any type of physical contact she initiates is good. It may be a conscious or unconscious gesture. A gentle shove for example. Or you tell a joke and she laughs and reaches over to touch your hand or arm in a playful way.

Now, if you initiate the contact by taking her hand as she steps out of your car and, and she either lingers or keeps the grip, these are good signs.

And a higher level and more subtle form of touching is whether or not she's touching herself. Playing with her hair is a form of self-touch. Stroking her chin as she's leaning toward you during dinner conversation, or perhaps unconsciously stroking her arm or neck with her fingers can indicate nervousness because she's attracted to you.

On the other hand, if she quickly releases your grip when you help her out of a car, or frowns, looks annoyed, or pulls back slightly when you touch her, these are clear indications that things may not be going your way, and it might be time to go back online and hit some of those free dating sites.

Rule of thumb: any physical contact she initiates is a good sign she's into you! If, by the end of your date you're holding hands or walking arm-in-arm, your second date might be just around the corner!

At the End of the Date

Okay, if your date enjoyed your company and appears to be leaving the door open for future time spent together, here's a quick rundown of some of the things that hopefully happened.

1) She was playing a little now and then with her hair.

2) During the time you were together, she occasionally leaned toward you.

3) Nodding or tilting her head in your direction during conversation is a good sign of interest.

4) When seated, were you able to notice if her legs were crossed and relaxed? A twirling foot or subtle repetitive leg motion are positive signs.

5) Her eyes can speak volumes. During the date, did you feel her gazing into your eyes, particularly if you were in a restaurant having lunch or dinner? A steady, unbroken "deep" gaze shows she's intently listening to everything you have to say.

6) Were there times during the date when she brushed up against you or touched your arm or shoulder? If you went dancing, did she seem to enjoy your touch or your arms around her? If so, this is a positive sign of her interest in you.

Remember, just one of these body language trip-offs isn't usually sufficient for decision-making.

But if you're having dinner and she is smiling, leaning slightly toward you from across the table, occasionally patting or twirling her hair, making leg movements and finding a reason to reach across and touch you on the arm, then you should have smooth sailing ahead for a second date!

© 2018 Tim Anderson


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago from Chicago

      "Let's face it: going out on a first date can be downright scary."

      The aforementioned statement is true for many people because they never built a rapport with the person prior to going out.

      When I was doing online dating I had multiple email exchanges, phone conversations prior to meeting in person. There was a solid rapport established filled with chemistry and laughter....etc

      After a couple of weeks of this if we met in person the worst case scenario would be a new friendship was created. However more often than not the so called "first date" was fast tracked towards romance and intimacy because we didn't (feel) like "strangers".

      During those couple of weeks of conversations and emails I made sure I sprinkled in some flirtatious banter and sexual innuendo. Depending on whether or not the other person gives it back to you is a strong indication they connect with you mentally on a romantic level. If they don't flirt back consider not dating them.

      When you finally meet in person you walk right up to them, give them a hug, and a kiss on the cheek and begin talking/catching up on whatever your last phone conversation entailed....etc

      This technique is especially good for those people on meet online because you allow to utilize the system with multiple people, screen out those who are not compatible without investing money (guys usually pay for the first date), or invest hours (in person) together with someone you dislike or have nothing in common.

      Most people do not have a real mate selection/screening process. They allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices.

      It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      I say imagine yourself being a company with a key positon to fill.

      Not every resume that's sent to you will get contacted the HR department. Not everyone who has a phone interview with the HR rep will be forwarded to the hiring manager. Not everyone who has a phone interview with the hiring manager will be invited in for a face to face interview and not everyone who has a face to face interview will be offered the position.

      Essentially there are milestones and thresholds.

      The problem with a lot of folks today is they want to fast forward through the getting to know you process and go out on date as soon as possible. The quickest way to get burned out on dating is by going out with everyone you have an opportunity go out with. Screen them!

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection and "must haves list".

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      By implementing a dating system for ourselves whereby we know what we are looking for and how to determine our compatibility with another person we can remove much of the fear out of a first date.

      One man's opinion! :)


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