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Emotional Entanglement A Story of Domestic Violence

Updated on October 2, 2013

I wanted to post one of my articles or poems that I had already written about Domestic Violence, but since I cannot use content that is already published, I decided to write something new. As a young adult who has been through a lot when it comes to relationships and as a domestic violence advocate, I realize that when it comes to emotional abuse, it is usually not accepted or looked past. Many do not know that emotional abuse is domestic violence. I would like to share something with my readers.

There was a time when I was emotionally entangled in a relationship. I mean I really loved this man and I was willing to make it work no matter what. I saw signs that some things were not right EARLY but I continued to stay. Mainly because I had witnessed such things growing up and I thought for the most part that it was okay. Secondly, I thought that he just had some issues and that maybe I could help him and eventually they would go away, WRONG. I do have a child with this man so it was even harder to deal with.

I felt myself being tugged in many ways, he would constantly disrespect me, he was controlling, he was jealous, he didn't want me to have friends and always wanted me to be around him. He didn't accept the fact that we enjoyed different things. We did have some good times so I tried to focus on those, but things did not change, although he said that they would. I use to pray and pray and sometimes I felt like God was telling me to stay, but really He wasn't. I use to talk about marrying this man, but one day God woke me up and made me realize that this was not the man who was for me.

My life had changed quite a bit being with him, it wasn't until I left the relationship that I actually started going deeper into my purpose. God started connecting me with men and even women who had experienced Domestic Violence. That is really how I started learning about what I was going through, I mean that it actually had a title. Many times we think because we are not being physically abused that it is not domestic violence, but there are many forms of domestic violence and emotional abuse is definitely one of them.

Be with someone who appreciates you and accepts you for who you are, that is God fearing and God loving, that would encourage you and lift you up. Relationships take two strong people to make it work, there should not be domination or control in relationships.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, you can visit the Domestic Violence Hotline website at I recently started a nonprofit myself dedicated to raising awareness for many causes(F.A.C.E. I.T. Friends Advocating for Causes Effectively Immediately Today) feel free to visit us at

God Bless you all


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    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      Thanks Carolinemd21 and Thanks for sharing your story! Thats for liking my FB page as well, I look forward to interacting with you on there too.

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 

      6 years ago

      Great hub! I too have been in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. It was a nightmare until I woke up, got out and started living again. Thanks for sharing this. I also liked your page on my facebook. :)

    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      I definitely agree most people do not acknowledge that emotional abuse is Domestic Violence and that makes it harder to raise awareness. It also makes it harder to get some to see what they are actually going through. I am sorry that the judge did that to you but I know that God has you covered.

    • davenstan profile image

      Katina Davenport 

      6 years ago

      I have been a victim of emotional and psychological abuse.I remember standing before the judge to officially end my divorce. I told the judge I was emotionally abused but he said that really wasn't abuse. He also told me that I couldn't file a petition to keep my ex from my daughter and I because I FELT he was dangerous.

      J think people need to understand that emotional abuse is abuse, and leads to physical abuse.

    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      Thanks so much tammyswallow

    • MsLofton profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from IL

      Thanks so much for sharing! I agree that it is difficult to talk about it, It hasn't been that long since Ive been out of my situation and I work with others who have experience it and sometimes it is tough. I am glad that you now have a Husband that loves you and respects you, that gives me hope.

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 

      6 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Lived through emotional abuse for 22 years. I knew early on that what was going on was not right, but I had two daughters that I did not want to lose to him. When my youngest was 17 it was time for me to leave. For most of that time, I did not realize that it was domestic violence, that it was just me and many other things. It is still difficult to talk about. I now have a wonderful husband who treats me very well, but sometimes my past comes back to haunt me. My now husband will say something in a way that I know he is teasing, but I take it the wrong way. Luckily, he is very understanding and usually apologizes for what he said. Great information here...

    • tammyswallow profile image


      6 years ago from North Carolina

      This is a great hub. I hope it motivates and gives hope to those in this terrible situation. Voting up!


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