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How To Have A Balance Of Healthy Emotions

Updated on July 7, 2013

Emotions are an important part of being human. They allow us to feel love and to feel pain. It's not fun to feel pain. There are times you just try to accept things which can take some time, especially if you love that person intensely.

I don't think suppressing one's feelings is a good thing to do, but they say love is a choice of the mind, even if we feel it, it's a choice to love someone and we must do it, without letting our feelings get in the way. This can be very challenging to do, as emotions are a strong part of our nature.

I would give someone time to get accustomed to how they feel in a delicate situation. It would be good to understand how both people feel on both ends and take into account how they feel.

I know emotions are a part of being human. As a passionate person, I often have strong emotions. I've been a sensitive person and emotional person most of my life.

I remember when my father was dying, that one of my brothers wanted everything possible to be done to revive him because he could not deal with the fact my father was passing away. He even went to far as to ask or demand that my father be forcefully resuscitated if could be, which I was told could possibly be very painful for my dad and even break his ribs.

I was ready to let my father go, for he had been sick for three years and it was a great deal of time and wonderful experience to see my father go from a hardcore man who I used to be afraid of to this gentle soul who eventually converted to Christ in a special way.

It was really a blessing to see these changes. But I was ready to let him go, because it was so painful seeing him sick for so long, and I wanted it to be over.

I can put myself in my brother's shoes, though, as he was so intimately close to my dad, so close was their relationship founded on love and support and similarity, that it was very difficult for my brother and I can sympathize on the pain he went through and still feels.

My mother felt a great weight lifted when my father passed, as it had been a reign of control or unhealthy yelling for nearly 52 years. While that seemed selfish to me at first I understand and she does grieve and feel very lonely now and thinks of him often, even though she doesn't say much about it.

She is a very strong woman emotionally but she is very impulsive at times too.

When I wrote a hub about how I felt about assisted suicide for example, I did have a strong aversion to it, and uncomfortable feeling towards it in general. But what really took precedence over the aversion to it, was the feeling I had of losing someone that was intensely powerful and I do not beat myself up for having reacted strongly.

We need to try and by sympathetic to others and sometimes this involves putting aside what we vote on that particular thing, be it abortion, gay lifestyles, or assisted suicide. Though we may not agree, we can agree to disagree but when it comes down to it, sometimes it's our own feelings that take the largest toll like being willing to give up a love who wants to leave this life early and it can bring back very difficult memories also of perhaps other people or person(s) who have proposed similar things.

Emotions are one reason why many people try to hang on in relationships tightly not wanting to let go or feel lonely or alone.


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    • Farooq Siddiq profile image

      Farooq Siddiq 4 years ago

      you welcome

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      Thank you Eric, I've found your hubs interesting as well...heading over now to commnet. :)

      Hi Farooq Sidding, thank you :) See you soon I hope :)

    • Farooq Siddiq profile image

      Farooq Siddiq 4 years ago

      nice one

    • Eric Prado profile image

      Eric Prado 4 years ago from Webster, Texas

      This is a truly intriguing and interesting hub. Voted up, interesting, useful, and awesome.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      Thank you very very much lambservant and all for your comments.

      I do believe we can understand how others feel- if we have felt it ourselves- that's empathy.

      As for the assisted suicide thing- I will not agree with it because suicide is a sin. And I don't believe in it. I personally have suffered intense emotional pain for 21 years and never thought it was an option. I have friends who have schizophrenia who will prob never get better- been suffering for decades but will not do it. I do believe in my heart of hearts that God allows and uses suffering to change people , mainly to bring them to their knees. I do believe it is a blessing in disguise that many do not realize. I am so grateful my dad came to Christ 7 mo before his death. God is good and was good to him.

      You may not agree with me but I don't care. As for hurting other people's feelings, I didn't know the person who wrote the article on assisted suicide was sick at the time. When I found out later and was able to realize how sensitive they were- I tried to back off- but then my deep emotions for that person came thru passionately. I unfriended them per suggestion of another friend, though one thing I noticed on their part that cannot be denied, is that they laughed at my feelings and did not acknowledge them. If they had done so, it would have went very differently. Killing oneself is in fact a choice though it affects other people and I do think it's only fair to think of how it impacts other people and how they feel. Thus any action affects other people not just oneself.

      I choose now not to read articles pertaining to a subject such as this---for to me it was shocking and intense---I personally don't watch horror movies or bloody action movies--and I am not used to hardcoreness in articles nor do I want to even see them. I trusted this person enough but they let me down by posting something they should have known, knowing me, should have warned me not to read it.....all in all they tried to put a guilt trip on me, and not let me express myself, all the while in private IM telling me "I'm the only one who cared for shitted on it" and I found that very manipulative and Not True.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      You wrote this so eloquently. Emotions are given to us by God. As we are made in His image, we must understand that He, too, has emotions. In the Bible we see Him angry, joyful, sad, mourning, etc. The key is being responsible with your emotions. I don't think emotions should be repressed, especially long term, but we need to be responsible with emotions; I'm thinking particularly about anger. Anger is good because God made us to have it, as He does, but we are not to sin in our anger - in other words, don't use it to hurt others, or even yourself. My experience is that if at all possible, we need to use our heads (reason and understanding) in conjunction with emotions so that we can be responsible with them. But HA, easier said than done. I have bipolar disorder, and my previous comment does not come easy to me when I am in an extreme on the mood pendulum. When I get mad I can go from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye, so I am teaching myself (actually with God's leading) to give myself the 24 hour rule. Sometimes it takes 48 or even 72 hours. After that time passes I have calmed down enough to express my concerns respectfully and calmly, or I've realized my perspective was wrong and I can make my apologies (if necessary) and let it go. I have to admit using this rule is not easy. Perhaps I am like your mother, I can be impulsive.

      I love your heart for your Dad and your brother in the incident of your fathers illness and death. You are indeed a sensitive and fair-minded person. Another good job. Up and all the rest. Thank you.

    • Hendrika profile image

      Hendrika 4 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

      The problem with emotions is that they can be very destructive if you are not able to control them and that can make life for people around you very difficult. Trying to understand how someone else feel is also impossible, but I think the most important is to give a person space to accommodate their emotions even if you cannot understand it.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      I don't think it's possible to succeed in life without considering what another person wants or needs. However you as the individual get to (choose) your own friends, lovers, and spouse. In fact we get to choose which job offers to accept or people we want to spend our time with. There are always options.

      Too often people ignore that they have (choices) in life and instead adopt a victim mentality. I find myself constantly reminding my readers and clients.... "It's your life! Take the Wheel!" You are responsible for your happiness! :-)

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      I think it's emotionally abusive not to take into account how other people feel and I believe empathy and kindness are very important.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      I believe it is "maturity" society expects of us when it comes to expressing our emotions. For example reacting to a major disappointment like a 2 year old would while at work would not go over well. We learn to wear a "poker face" in a lot of situations.

      Suppressing emotions is not healthy but learning to (channel) them is. Too often people get so caught up in the emotion that they lose track of what they want to accomplish. We admire people who can keep their cool.

      A lot of fights have to do with setting boundaries because someone feels slighted. The wrong approach causes the accused person to become defensive and the situation erupts into an "ego" battle of wills.

      "Anger is the mask that Hurt wears."

      If one needs to scream in private than do so. Go for a walk, jog, or hit the gym. Oftentimes we just need to get that initial reaction out of system and then think about the best way to get the outcome we want.