ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

End An Affair And Take Back Your Life - Restore Your Self-Confidence and Protect Your Career

Updated on June 26, 2014

END THE AFFAIR SUCCESSFULLY

In the end, you will be found guilty. No matter what role you have played in the affair, there is pain and there will be more pain. Those that were not active participants in the affair but are directly affected will suffer even more pain. If recent statistics are accurate, over 68% of all married couples will face the agony of an affair. Research also indicates that over 60% of those polled have engaged in an office affair with a co-worker or the boss.

There are several scenarios for affairs, and they all spell trouble! You may be married and the love interest is single. You may both be married or the love interest is married and you are single. You may both be single but Prince or Princess Charming is a co-worker or the boss. Regardless of the marital situation or the level of commitment to someone outside the affair, when you add to the mix a co-worker situation all the hazard lights should be flashing. Horns should be blaring and someone with a megaphone should be shouting "DANGER, DANGER, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE"!

Let's assume that the hazard lights were not operating and the megaphone guy was on vacation and everything in your heart, or elsewhere, screamed "green light - all systems go". You launched into an affair. A few days, weeks or months later, the pain has set in and you have analyzed the situation with a calm cool mind. Yes, you conclude, this affair needs to stop. Now what? Protect your heart, your reputation, your career, your life and take action now.

IMAGE CREDIT:

Image courtesy of gubgib/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

LEARN HOW TO MOVE ON FROM THE END OF AN AFFAIR

How to Get Over Him and Learn from Your Mistakes: A Survival Guide
How to Get Over Him and Learn from Your Mistakes: A Survival Guide

Any time a relationship ends, you need all the tools you can find for recovery. This book offers practical tips on how to move on and heal.

 
type=text
type=text

GET HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT THAT HOT AFFAIR

If you are involved in an office affair or have been contemplating that step, stop and think about your future. Be honest with yourself. What looks exciting and on the "big screen at the theatre" ends happy ever after may have a completely different result in real life. You may ruin your career and friendships may suffer; you may miss out on a real opportunity for love with someone that isn't your boss, isn't married and doesn't work in the next cubicle.

If you are really head over heels in love with a co-worker and the feeling is mutual, someone needs to find a new job. Then the romance can move forward in a positive healthy way.

IMAGE CREDIT:

Image courtesy of marin/ target="_blank">FreeDigitalPhotos.net

type=text
type=text

TIME TO GRACEFULLY END THE AFFAIR

Make no mistake, ending an affair is difficult but it is absolutely necessary. There are several keys to successfully ending the affair with grace.

First, handle this final conversation with kindness. There is nothing to be gained by hateful destructive behavior. If the affair involves a co-worker, there is even greater need for a kind gracious end. But do not give any indication that you might change your mind.

Second, meet in person in a public place. This is not something you can handle in the office or during the work day during a break.

Third, the final meeting must be brief and simple. Accept responsibility for your error in judgment in participating in the affair. Do not get involved in a discussion about "why now". You can simply say your boss or significant other has become suspicious and you want to keep your job and, if it applies, your committed relationship.

Finally, be clear that this decision is final, and there can be no future contact. This is not a situation where you can still be friends. To give the other person the tiniest hope for a change of mind is unnecessarily cruel.

It is vital to your mental and emotional health that you remain focused on your future. Once the affair has ended, you can begin to heal and work on recovery of your self-esteem and self-confidence. The simple act of doing the right thing is a giant step in the right direction and a heavy weight will be lifted. You will be free to focus on your life, your goals and relationships that are honest and can endure.

Some links on this lens are affiliate links and may result in my receiving a commission if you purchase the product after clicking the link.

IMAGE CREDIT:

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

AFFAIR HAS ENDED AND IT'S TIME TO FOCUS ON YOU

Now that you have taken the important step of ending the affair, you need to devote time and resources to your own healing and recovery. It's time to close the chapter on secrets and move forward with a positive healthy life. Everyone involved in an affair, and those affected by an affair, will deal with self-esteem issues and shattered self-confidence. This is not a situation where time alone heals all wounds. Time and sincere effort on your part to resolve old issues will heal. This is not a step in the process that can be skipped.

THIS PROGRAM WILL GET YOU STARTED ON THE RIGHT PATH

IMAGES: All images on this lens have been purchased or are public domain or

have the required attribution link for credit

END AN AFFAIR

Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self
Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self

Learn how to set appropriate boundaries in relationships and most important, enforce those boundaries.

 
Marriages, Families, and Intimate Relationships: A Practical Introduction (2nd Edition)
Marriages, Families, and Intimate Relationships: A Practical Introduction (2nd Edition)

Tips for relationship issues. This can help you learn how to handle problems.

 
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart
Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart

When you find yourself at the end of a relationship, you need all the help you can get. This book will provide some tips.

 
Broken Promises, Mended Hearts: Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships
Broken Promises, Mended Hearts: Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships

After a broken relationship, there are certain to be trust issues. Learn to heal and recover.

 

Thanks for visiting - please leave your comments

UNDERSTANDING AND ENDING AN AFFAIR

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Patty 2 years ago

      I am still in what is now a 3 month affair. Knowing I need to end it-but not being able to pull the trigger. Both of us married AND work together. I've never done anything like this before-and know now that I really messed up. I believe I got into it thinking I would be able to end my marriage a little easier-although I did not intend to be with this 'affair partner". I believe it is called an "exit" affair. I have been married for 32 years. My feelings have gotten too strong for this person and I know it will not go anywhere-just be harder for me to end later. I was ready to end it-but he said the "right things" to keep me from doing it. This is not healthy-i know-but still have not been able to end it!

    • profile image

      Healthy0ne 4 years ago

      Really well organized len! I believe that ending an affair can be one of the most difficult things to do, but it can definitely set you free!

    • OrganicMom247 profile image

      OrganicMom247 4 years ago

      Good advice. Ending an affair can be very difficult so you need all the support you can get from family and friends.

    • profile image

      momsfunny 5 years ago

      Very sound advice.

    • profile image

      Journeyb 5 years ago

      wow i loved this lens! You give good advice and understanding. Great Great job:)