The Impact of Pain
Everyone hurts and goes through pain. Whether or not we want to admit it, we each have a secret breaking point—the place where, when our pain becomes unbearable, we become vulnerable and are most likely to act or react outside of our character, causing us to do or say something that we may regret the rest of our lives. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, one thing is certain—pain hurts.
Pain comes in many forms that can and often does lead to many unwanted problems such as relationship troubles and self esteem issues.
Many marital relationships have been ruined because of pain. When we associate pain with relationships emotional pain comes to mind, but physical pain can play a role in ruining a healthy relationship as well. I suffer from chronic pain caused by a disc in my lower back that pinches a nerve, which causes excruciating pain down the back of my left thigh. I recall to mind several times that the stress of my pain has caused me to act irrationally toward my wife and use words that ultimately caused her emotional pain, although it was never my intention to hurt her. In the end I got triple the pain for my trouble. Not only was I hurting from physical pain, but I caused emotional pain to my wife that added the emotional pain of hurting her to my own physical pain.
Words are powerful
Words have awesome power to hurt, so get into the habit of thinking before you speak. The words we speak to others can negatively or positively influence the self-esteem of another person. Many people have self-esteem issues because someone has hurt them with negative words. I grew up with a guy who was an underachiever. I recall hearing his father calling him names like stupid and worthless, telling him that he was a good for nothing bum. No doubt the words of my friend's father had a serious negative impact on his self-esteem. As the words of his father took root in his spirit, my friend began to see himself through the eyes of his father causing him to view himself as insignificant and incapable of succeeding at anything.
As children, whenever someone would say something hurtful we would say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words could never hurt me.” Well, it turns out that we were wrong. The Bible equates the tongue as being the most powerful member of the body. The tongue can be compared to the rudder of a ship. Although a ship is a large vessel, it is turned by a very small rudder; so it is with the tongue. To be such a small member of the body, the tongue has power to set the course of a person’s life. With it we can say things that can destroy, and even kill another individual (James 3:4-8). Therefore, it is wise to always consider your choice of words when you speak.
Think highly of yourself
Everyone experiences emotional pain in one form or another and there are many things that can affect your emotional stability. To avoid the sensation of being in a depressed state of mind you should learn to cope with emotional pain in a positive way. First, identify with who you believe you are. In other words, you must know what you believe about yourself. Too often we believe what others tend to think about us instead of believing what we think of ourselves. Your perception of yourself will seriously affect your level of success in everything you set out to accomplish. What you believe is what you will achieve, so always, ALWAYS think highly of yourself.