- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Expectations, the root cause of all the pain in our life
We all mortals are same in one particular context, that expectations from others, particularly in the relationship this very root cause of every evil in our relationship has to be eliminated. Until we do not eliminate it from our life, one way or the other it will incarnate in to different problems one by one for entire life.
The rise of the expectations in our life happens due to our tendency to take things for granted in our life, most of us forget that relationship with someone is not to feed our escapism or getting ride of our adversary through the medium of relationship. In fact relationship is the celebration of life, the very essence of our life through shared happiness, and happiness can not be discovered by exploiting someone in our relationship. You can not push any one in relationship to do you favor, then it becomes the relation of give and take, and once the medium of relation is give and take, it looses the meaning of relations.
Hence it is very essential that we overcome expectations in any relations, I am not only talking about the relation of Husband and wife but the relation of Father and son, Mother and daughter also.
To overcome expectations in the relationship is indeed difficult but not impossible, we only need to understand one thing that relationship is built upon the natural urge of every human to the other human, it is the natural requirement of every human since we are all social animals and it is natural to happen with us to be in relation, and the relationship is to elevate in our life to become more refined human being and achieve spiritual height in this life. So in relationship we need to share our life, our feeling, our happiness and sorrow without any hesitations but never try to impose our expectation on someone who is in our relation.
We see that in so many cases wife becomes an object of pleasing Boss during Party thrown by him to build his business to new height, to build up the business image, and in this situation as an loyal employee the husband insist his wife to be present in the party so his boss will be entertained and in return he will get promotion in the job! This is purely the height of expectation. May be all of you will not agree with this example but this it the reality in most of the case. What is the case of bring along wife in a party which is purely thrown in the honor of new client acquisition or for the Pr or Promotion of the Business/ Company you work in, if she also is the employee in the same company then it is okay but if she is working in different organisation or if she is a housewife, then what is the logic, because every married woman will never be comfortable in such situation to be an object of presentation.
It may sound that I am talking about the south Asian people only, and I am concerned about the couples in South Asia, but I am talking about the whole world, if you really go in to detail and try to find out the feeling of a married woman about this situation, you will realize it.
Now I give you one more example it is not of Husband and wife but it is about a Father and a Son. Take for example if a father insist that his Son should do his graduation or post graduation in Science and not in Art, again here is the clear case of expectation of a Father from his own Son, why one need to expect such favor in the relationship of a Father and Son, does one's Son is meant to fulfill the dreams of his Father or it is the nature which has created the beautiful relation of a Father and Son out of a relationship of a Man with a Woman as Husband and Wife. But we all sometime see that such expectation in similar way or in different form takes place in relationship of a Father and a Son.
So these are only two such example of expectations, if I want I can give you hundreds of such examples from all across the world from different culture and society.