Exposing Everyday Annoyances and How They Ended "Joyce's" Relationship With Her Boyfriend
This is "Joyce's" boyfriend when he first suspects trouble with "Joyce"
ANNOYANCES COME IN TWO GROUPS
Did you know that in life there are major annoyances and everyday annoyances? And if you are trying to decide which group is worse, let me help you. It is not the major annoyances, but the everyday annoyances that drive you mad and rob you of your happiness.
This list below does NOT contain all of the things in the awful area of everyday annoyances, but after reading them, you will agree that the list of “everyday annoyances” are the toughest things to battle.
Everyday Annoyances on the attack
I have given this piece the sensitive title of . . .
Exposing Everyday Annoyance; How They Ended “Joyce’s” Relationship With Her Boyfriend
• People who eat potato chips or pork rinds to sit in my face while I am watching television and have to endure that crunching sound that “eats up” my patience and nerves.
• When I make a statement, a simple statement, and this is what I hear: “Huh?”
• When I finally get to say a complete statement to a group of maybe three people, and one of the three suddenly bursts into a rude interuption without even saying, “Excuse me. This is important.”
• You work yourself to death with a group of friends on a special project and at break time when the group leader tells you, “I couldn’t have a better group member than “Van,” for he is super-reliable, smart, articulant and I am on “cloud nine,” with him being in this group. That’s great, group leader, but “Van” has only been in this company for (a) week. Now you are too irritated to be stupid enough to ask, “Well, did I do any work that pleased you?”
• You are walking “Joyce” home on a perfect summer night and then a wild-acting stray dog charges at you and bites you several times on the left thing causing blood to shoot profusely into the air. You lay on the sidewalk holding your thigh begging “Joyce,” to call an ambulance. Instead she curses you out for making the dog angry causing it to bite you. You think that your pain is so deep that you are in a dream with her rude, insensitive actions.
• When you take your date to dinner, and she insists on “Van” going also. You get mildly-upset for this is your three-year anniversary with “Joyce,” and when you and her meet “Van” at the fancy restaurant that you reserved for you and “Joyce,” she ignores you and talks most of the night with “Van,” and on the way home, never explains to you why she suddenly became attracted to “Van.”
• Rude people (on the bus) who know that you are going to sit in a particular place and jump in the seat with the grace of a gazelle. Then look at you in that annoying smug fashion.
"Joyce," in her daily life
"Van" in designer-tuxedo
How a man feels after his love dumps him without telling him
Even more everyday annoyances
• When a traffic cop tickets your car for the meter being expired, you show him the meter with ten minutes left, he threatens to arrest you for insulting an officer and you still have to pay the ticket.
• On that one weekend that you know that you and “Joyce,” will be alone, and you have labored a special weekend out of town that cost your credit card over $12,000.00, you would think her eyes would sparkle with appreciation, but she says upon you telling her about the plans, “That sounds neat, but WE (you and her) are going to a lecture on “The History of Early Chinese Pottery.”
• In a group of old classmates at your 20th reunion, everyone in the group is a lawyer, doctor, or nuclear phycists, but you. And you are just an employee who cleans the restrooms in a factory. Don’t you feel so ashamed of what you do for a living when placed with these elite alum? I mean, the reunion planners could have put you with other blue collar classmates.
• You call “Joyce,” one Friday evening before you go home from your office and you hear a guy’s voice in the background at “Joyce’s” place and it is good old, “Van.” In a friendly tone you ask, “What is he doing there? I was going to take you to your favorite opera.” “Oh, he just showed up to show me some photos of him in action when he owned his own skydiving company.” “So, are you going to allow me to take you to your favorite opera?” you insist. “Oh, sure. But we will have to wait until “Van” has dinner HERE, for he didn’t eat today as he single-handedly fed the hungry in our town.”
• You call “Joyce” the next Tuesday in hopes that she will go out with you that coming Friday night and she starts giggling to high heaven. “Was it something I said?” you ask in confusion. “Oh, noooo, giggle, giggle, choke, poor “Van.” He came by to say hello and bring some rose fertilizer to me and this wasp stung him, uhhh, on his privates and I had to “doctor” him--giggle, giggle.” “Joyce” says. “Well, where is “Van” now?” you ask seeing your date going up in smoke. “Oh, shhh! He is sleeping right now on my bed to let the sting and swelling go down.” You are speechless.
This is "Van"
This was quick
Everyday annoyances ends another relationship
• Any cashier in any store who has a problem staying awake while checking your groceries out.
• “Van” shows-up at your workplace and tells you that he is going to lunch with “Joyce.” You reply, “Why didn’t ‘Joyce’ tell me?” “Uhhh,” “Van” says. “I really dunno. Ciao!” he says with that stupid smug look on his rude face.
With all of these annoyances, you make a drastic change. “Yeah,” you say with pride. “Being single again is going to be great.”
In your mail the next week is a wedding invitation from “Joyce” (who never bothered to call you) and “Van.” Then you toss the invitation from your counter into the trash bin.
“ . . .two points!”