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Fail-Safe Excuse for Forgetting to Call

Updated on July 18, 2011

So, you did it again. Whether it be your wife, your girlfriend, or the girl you had a great first date with last week, you have forgotten to call.

We've all done it. It happens. No big deal, right? Try telling that to the guy who forgot, while the experience (and repercussions) are still fresh in his memory. Big Deal.

Fear not, reader, as you will never have to worry about forgetting to call again. Not that you will remember to call. Much better, you will get out of forgetting to call, time and time again.

You see, I have developed a universal, fail-safe excuse that is guaranteed to get you out of hot water and back into the hot tub in no time. Is the excuse, "Well, you see, I have a prepaid cellular phone plan and didn't realize that I'd used up all of my credits." ? Don't even try it. Amateurish. Third rate.

Excuses like that may work on the playground, but you are a man.. And as such, you need a man-sized excuse. I am talking about an excuse so big, so bold, so bountiful, mysterious and enchanting, and delivering such a wow factor, that it will mesmerize the excusee to the degree that you will be able to use the excuse over and over with absolute success.

Behold: The Excuse

"I must beg your forgiveness, Fair [insert girl in your life's name here; eg., Eileen, Charlotte, Lisa, etc.], for my discourteous delay. I make no excuses for my actions, but I do offer you the following information on the events of the previous half fortnight. It all began when I received Word, while at O'Shaunessy's speaking with some brothers of the Resistance about the Movement, that the Opponents were en route and scheduled to crash the party at some imminent time or another.

"This forced me Underground where, as you know, it is dark. And musty. My shoes still smell. I attempted to send you Word via the Network, however I think the Network may have been down, as I didn't have any bars. The Opponents moved on to the Next Place yesterday and I am back above ground. I must thank you for the strength that you gave me -- I kept you close to my heart through the entire ordeal.

"It just goes to show that what they say is true: Behind every great Revolutionary is some [insert complementary characteristic about the girl in your life here; eg. 'artsy', 'kick-ass', ;fashionable', 'awesome', 'incredibly sexy', 'unbelievably smart', etc.) Chick from (insert name of her town here)."

Use with caution. Or wreckless abandon. It works either way.

Disclaimer: This hub is for entertainment purposes only and the hub writer does not advise trying this at home. But if you do try it, let me know how it works out for you.

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    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Hi Mike I don't think either one of these excuses would work well but I did find the hub funny. Really like the picture of the dog "in the doghouse".

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 6 years ago

      Lol...

    • Mike's Corner profile image
      Author

      Mike's Corner 6 years ago from Maryland

      Thanks, Susan! I am no stranger to the doghouse myself :)

    • Pixienot profile image

      Pixienot 6 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

      I'm with Susan - it's the dog house for my excuse maker! :) Very entertaining. I like your style of writing.

      Thanks for the insight into how a "man" thinks! :)

    • Mike's Corner profile image
      Author

      Mike's Corner 6 years ago from Maryland

      Thanks, Pixienot . . . men have been searching for the perfect excuse since the dawn of time . . . looks like we may still have some work to do :)

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