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Falling For a Guy Who Does Not Have His Life Together

Updated on December 12, 2016

When people are young it is normal to be unsure of what you want out of life. You do not know what kind of partner you want or where you want to go to college or what kind of job you want or where you see yourself living in the future. Even at the age 23 the road could still be a little unclear. People want to have fun instead of being in a relationship. There comes a time though when you have to get serious and put your priorities in place. You could still have fun but you need to know what you want out of life and when it comes to choosing a partner make sure he knows what he wants out of life also.

If you date someone of fall for someone who does not have their life together you are in for a huge roller coaster. Not only is there a chance that they may never commit to you but there is nothing but heartache with them. They think that life is just one party and it is amazing to get a different girl every weekend than to treat the same one special. You will be lied to and be let down all the time because they could never keep their word. When they say they are going to do something they do not always come through and if they do it is a miracle.

If you date someone who does not have his life together sadly you might be the only one who is fighting for your relationship. While the guy may find you attractive he might not care if you fall apart. The only thing he might care about is pictures you are sending him, what you are texting him or when you are willing to come over. If you are not doing any of those things he might try to get it from another girl because he isn't willing to wait and work through the bumps when you really want to be with someone.

You can't try to fix this guy or inspire or even motivate him. He wants to stay in his room all day and do nothing. He wants to party all night with his friends. He does not care about making something of himself and being successful in life. No matter what you tell him it will just go in one ear and out the other. If you post articles on Facebook to try to get his attention most likely he will ignore them. He is not going to change unless he wants to. As the saying goes "You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves."

You want to believe that this person is going to change. Every time you see that they are getting on the right track they go right back to square one. Then you are left disappointed. There are many nights when you are crying yourself to sleep every night. When you are alone you think of your situation and you cannot help but start crying. It is a constant roller coaster with you and this guy.

Have you ever fell for a guy who did not have his life together?

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You know that you deserve better but deep down he is the one that you want. There is something inside of him that you like. You see potential so you wait until he is ready to change. Then it hits you. He will never be the guy that you want him to be.

Your friends and family tell you time and time again to move on. They do not know the pain that you are feeling inside. You know that he is wrong for you. You cannot help but want him. You just wish that there was a way things would be different so that they both of you could just be together.

With him you are miserable and without him you are miserable. You have no idea which is worse. If only he would just get his life together and be on your side.

When you finally decide to start seeing other guys you still think of him. You wish that he would come back into your life and decide that he wants to commit to you. You with that he would decide to stop talking to all of the other girls who are after him. You wish he would make you a priority instead of an option. You wish he would apologize for how he treated you and you could start over. It isn't the same with the other guys. You know you will always love him.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 13 months ago

      "You can't try to fix this guy or inspire or even motivate him. He wants to stay in his room all day and do nothing. He wants to party all night with his friends." - Very true!

      This is especially true if a woman is in her late teens or in her 20s.

      The average guy in his 20s either just escaped from his parent's basement or a college dorm room. The last thing on his mind is becoming his parents! (ie) Settling down, getting married, buying a home, having a family....etc

      Most guys in their 20s are looking to party with friends, watch sports, play video games, and get laid.

      The average guy doesn't really start to think about settling down these days until he's in his early 30s. Men view their youth as a time to explore, travel, date around, and try a variety of things.

      As you noted a woman cannot "change" a man.

      The goal is to find one who (already is) the kind of man you want!