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Favourite Dates With My Husband: Sparkle added, no extra cost

Updated on October 16, 2012

Married for sixteen years. Four kids and a dog. A rusty mini-van. A mortgage. Responsibilities. Tired.

It all sounds a little boring.

How do you keep the sparkle in marriage when all of the above is true?

The following are a few of my favourite "dates" with my husband. They are usually spontaneous, spur of the moment activities. Things that can't be planned, they just happen; and when they happen, it all works together to add some sparkle at no extra cost.

Tea in a Thermos and a Country Drive

Ages ago, before children, my husband arrived home from work to discover I had not planned any supper because I thought we should go out. The big problem was that he had been gone all day and was looking forward to being home.

I was quite put out. Maybe even sulky - it was a long time ago, hard to be sure - I really was disappointed that my plans had been crushed. I think we ate a can of soup and some toast. The evening was shaping up to be a complete bust. But my wonderful husband suggested that we make a thermos of tea and take some cookies and go for a drive.

It took a great deal of cheerfulness on his part to pull be out of my black mood, but he succeeded. We drove down country roads we had never been on before and we found a lovely little stone bridge and we parked beside it and drank our tea and ate our cookies.

Now, whenever I drive by that little bridge I remember our date so long ago and I have to smile because it was a fun evening together. There have been many other dates with a thermos of tea, a dessert and a drive.

Fun, inexpensive, time spent together. All good components of a date.

Outside together enjoying the warmth of some spring sunshine.
Outside together enjoying the warmth of some spring sunshine. | Source
Starlight is more romantic.
Starlight is more romantic.

Come see the Stars

Not long ago, I was working around in the kitchen and my husband popped his head in the back door and asked me to come out and see the stars.

When I went outside, I discovered that he had spread a blanket in the backyard and was laying on his back staring up at the sky. I joined him and we looked up for a long time trying to find different constellations and talking about all kinds of things. I remember laughing so hard and realizing that the sound must be carrying in the stillness of the night causing the neighbours to wonder what was so funny over in our backyard.

Had they bothered to look out their windows, they simply would have seen a married couple reconnecting through conversation and laughter. This couple being humbled and amazed that the God who made the stars also brought them together in a relationship that they still enjoy and find pleasure in.

Lets Go for a Walk

A beautiful full moon hung in the sky and he asked me to go for a walk. Off we went down a country road with the moon hanging low over the trees, huge and bright.

I don't know how many walks we have gone on over the years. Sometimes it is a light rain that beckons us out, sometimes it is the colours of autumn, or the pink of May, or the wild wind of an approaching storm. Sometimes, my husband looks at my face pinched with the cares of the messy house, the noise of the children and squabbles and irritations and he just knows I need out. There isn't time for a date night complete with dinner and dressing up, but there is time for a change of scenery, a quick walk, holding onto his hand, a few brief minutes of his company, steadying me, cheering me up and cheering me on. A bit of time reminding us that we are here for one another, we are special to one another. We are loved.

I never fail to return from one of these little dates with a spring in my step and an easier smile on my face.

Ask a Silly Question, Get a Silly Answer

One time on a very long drive, late at night I was trying to keep conversation going so that he wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. After 7 hours of driving I was having trouble thinking of things to talk about. So I asked a random question.

"What is your favourite chocolate bar?"

We had a conversation about chocolate bars.

Since there were many hours left to go, we ended up asking each other all kinds of questions.

What is the best meal you have ever eaten?

What is your favourite tree and why?

What is your earliest childhood memory?

What is your favourite Bible verse? Favourite song? Favourite weather?

And on and on. We went from random topic to random topic. We were silly, we were serious.

We talked about intimate, personal things and things we had really given very little thought to .... ever.

It passed the time and we learned all kinds of ridiculous, new things about each other.

Sparkle! | Source

It Isn't Rocket Science

None of these date ideas are new. Anyone can think of doing them. All I know for sure is this: if you are looking for ways to add sparkle to your marriage and you can't afford a cruise or a week at a resort, or weekly trips to a nice restaurant or a concert, don't worry. Sparkle can be added at no extra cost.

Just spend time together. Laugh together. Hold onto each other.

Dance around the kitchen.

When we dance, we step on each other's toes, the little ones laugh and try to join in, the older ones roll their eyes and beg us to never attempt dancing in public, but my husband and I just smile because it is fun, we are together, we add happiness to the life of the other, we love and are loved

and in all this there is



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    • beverlyfaye profile image

      beverlyfaye 4 years ago

      Dear Hendrika,

      I am sorry for you, it must be difficult for you and your husband. I do not know the challenges of being bipolar, but I certainly know what it is to feel tired and not overly energetic or 'sparkly'. Sometimes I find that if I make an effort to be more cheerful the 'cheer' actually follows. It's making the initial effort that can be very difficult. I wish you and your husband some special 'sparkly' dates together. :-)

    • Hendrika profile image

      Hendrika 4 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

      Oh, I do envy you your "little" dates. I have the best husband in the whole wide world, but I am bipolar and more often than not when he calls me to look at the moon or a beautiful sunset I feel plain too tired and ill to really respond. I go outside and agree, but there is no spark!