Feelings Of Guilt
As she poured the coffee into the cup sitting in front of me, I gazed towards the smile on her face. I felt a warmth I have not felt in quite some time. I had to fight down the urge to stand and grab her in a hug. I am addicted to hugs and have not had one in a long time. The battle was difficult, but I controlled my urge and caught the end of her question to me; "Are you alone?" The tears had to show, even if not out of my eyes, I was crying inside. "Yes, my wife died in November." I saw a pain overcome the waitress; a pain for me. She asked me a few more general questions and I her. I felt a desire to ask for more time with her, but away from here. My insides wouldn't allow me to ask that simple question, "Will you go out with me?
I paid the bill and left with smiles and a beautiful, "Come see us again" from this waitress I was having some kind of feelings for.
As I drove, guilt set in. I felt like I was feeling emotions that were wrong. Can a man love two different women? I am not saying I love this waitress all of a sudden, but am I doing wrong in thinking it may be a possibility?
I arrived home and the rest of the day was full of depression. I wanted to know if what I was feeling was ok. I couldn't find an answer. I was in my shed looking through my toolbox and found some pictures I had of Jonda, my beautiful wife who is now in Heaven. I broke down and have wept and wept.
Praying It Through
I had such strong feelings of guilt that I found myself on my knees praying non-stop. I asked forgiveness from both God and Jonda. I felt nothing until this morning.
I awoke this morning with a great desire to go to that restaurant for breakfast. I felt Jonda telling me to go.
I had those feelings again. The waitress has a smile that just warms me. I also see pains deep inside of her and I believe we could each help the other with those pains.
Is It Right?
Is loving another after the death of your spouse right?
So many people have different opinions; can anyone show me Bible verses that deal with this issue?
I wonder if I can hold, hug and love another, or is the pillow next to me all that I have for the rest of my time on this Earth?
Ok Or Not?
Is it ok to date after the death of a spouse?
If Your Answer Was Yes Above, How Long Should A Widow/Widower Wait Before Dating Again?
Opinions Do Count!
Believe it or not, I do value all opinions, even if I disagree with them.
I warmly welcome all opinions because, as you can see, I am battling an internal guilt problem.
Jonda will always be in my heart, in my soul and in my very being. We were made for each other. My question is, would God bless me with another to feel a similar love for?
This my friends is my predicament. I pray God's Wisdom and the knowledge to use that Wisdom correctly. In Jesus Name!