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Exploring the Female Dynamic, a Woman's Perspective

Updated on April 10, 2018

Who is secretly pleased their beautiful friend's perfect 'act' is falling apart... ?

There are some truly beautiful women out there. By beautiful, I mean their souls, their characters. There are some women who are just; lovely. Yet recently, I've encountered the exact opposite. I'm learning just how awful some women can be. This is not about 'women bashing'. I am not merely being severe on my own sex. The #metoo movement has opened the experiences a woman may face within a lifetime. Some ladies believe it's the men who have to change. Which is somewhat true. But utlimately, we can only change or control ourselves. We can influence change in how we respond. And that begins with how we behave with and treat each other. Men often get brutal scathings because of their social behaviours. Ever wondered why women are, 'so complicated?' It's often because of... the women.

The Women

We put a ridiculous amount of pressure on ourselves to perform and deliver, (#pinterestmoms.) But why? Because we know the women are watching - judging. As a woman, there are invisible yet tangible benchmarks we are 'required' to meet; education, marriage, family, career and so on. Regardless of if or how we meet them, we fall into categories. Categories defining our 'worth' as women. This 'worth'? - is often depicted by... the women.

When two women meet for the first time, they are often both doing the same thing; sussing each other out. After the initial assessment, you're placed at their perceived level of your, 'worth' and thus, they either accept you or they don't. Either way, for a time, they keep you at arm's length until they can ascertain what your true, 'worth' is and determine if it's higher than their own, 'worth'. Still with me?

Two things then happen. If your new acquaintance has decided your worth is higher than their own, they either keep you close and learn from you or they merely cast you aside. If your new 'friend' has decided your worth is deemed lower than theirs, they either pity you or make you their project.

In a nutshell - it means the women are just threatened by... the women. Confused? Good.

The Show

This is all hidden behind what I like to call, 'the show'. The big act. Pretending we've all got our lives together so we can maintain the status quo we have been placed into or, 'climb the ranks of a woman's worth'. Pretending we're the perfect mother, wife and home-maker yet successful career woman and supermodel.

I find it an ugly culture, driven by insecurity. It's completely destructive. The irony is; we all feel the same. We all have the same insecurities. We all have the same desires. We all 'fail'. We are all pretending. It's like the worst kept secret amongst women. Yet, instead of genuinely supporting each other, we silently tear each other down and call it 'friendship'.

It is exhausting to watch and partake in. Playing the roles and not being true to ourselves or those we surround themselves with. Who is truly genuine anymore? Who really means it when they say they will be there to support their 'friend' in their hour of need? Or are they only doing it for the show - for their own selfish gain?

Who is secretly pleased their beautiful friend's perfect 'act' is falling apart... ?

The Truth

Ladies, there is no competition. You do not need to treat women poorly to make yourself feel validated. You do not need to compare yourself to others to be worthy. You do not need to try and influence those around you negatively so you come out on top. You are flawed. You are not perfect. You never will be. And that is OK. Yet, you are a caretaker. You are a child bearer. You are strong and capable. But most importantly, you are beautiful and in competition with no one.

© 2015 Kitty Rochester


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      Your statement "Ladies. Let me tell you the secret. There is no competition. You do not need to treat women poorly to make yourself feel validated." is spot on!

      One of the reasons why there some "double standards" is because women are often the first ones to put other women down!

      For example people often complain about men who sleep around being treated differently than women who do the same thing. They'll often say "society" deems it acceptable.

      The reality is women call such men "dogs", "no good" and "a-holes"!

      That doesn't exactly sound like (acceptable) to me.

      The real difference is (men don't care what women call them) and other men don't call these men "dogs", "no good" and "a-holes" nor see them as a threat. Many want to know their "secret"!

      What would happen if women didn't care what (men) thought about them and they stopped calling other women "sluts", "whores" or "skanks" for how they dress or their sexual behavior choices?

      The real reason why women put each other down is because they view them as a threat. No "traditional conservative woman" wants her man exposed to women that are provocatively dressed or known for sleeping around. She considers them to be a threat. In fact a lot of women (blame other women) for the changes in courtship rules today which they claim makes it difficult for them to find "good men".

      It also doesn't help to have all these "red carpet" strolls before every awards show where people pick apart every woman's gown, makeup, shoes, and jewelry. Even in People Magazine whenever they spot two (female) celebrities wearing similar outfits they'll post a side by side photo with the caption: "Who wore it best?"

      There is no real "sisterhood" and unfortunately there probably will never be. One man's opinion! :)


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