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Female infidelity: Beyond why women cheat

Updated on June 24, 2011
Many myths of women cheating
Many myths of women cheating

Male infidelity can be easily explained by the notion that “men are old dogs.” However, female infidelity usually takes a bit more explaining, and this is where certain myths and half-truths arise.

Part of the problem is that some persons strictly stereotype women as romantic and emotional beings. Women have various reasons to cheat and can be very rational or pragmatic about it. As such, some facts about female infidelity can be somewhat surprising.

Women can be thoughtful about affairs

In romance novels, a married woman may get swept off her feet by some suave Casanova. He comes along; turns her head; she gets ‘sprung’ eventually and ends up having an affair. Well, women usually put more thought into going outside of a relationship for need-satisfaction. They tend to consider it for a while before they actually do it; some might even discuss the possibility with a friend or two. Far more often than not, their lover is someone they knew for a few or several months before the affair.

Female cheaters may not always want romance from affairs

Many women enjoy the idea of romantic love, but it is not necessarily a prerequisite for affairs. Just as men claim to love their wives when they cheat, some women can separate passion from love – romantic or otherwise. It is possible for women to feel some attachment or affection for their lovers. However, it does not suggest that they love their lovers more than their husbands. The opposite can easily be true.

Some women can cheat for thrills

This is one of the pitfalls of generalizations. One woman’s comment on an article related to infidelity suggested that women need good reasons to cheat, whereas men just do it – like Nike. Some women are thrill-seekers by nature. They may enjoy their life with their spouses or partners but just want that piece of the puzzle filled. The secretive nature and danger of an affair just compounds the thrill. There are several reasons for female infidelity, but opportunity, thrill and fantasy are some of those said reasons as well.

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There are reasons for married women to prefer married men

In Don Covay’s classic song, he was checking out while his lady was checking in; the woman he was with was married too. Women – even single ones – may prefer married men because of the qualities that made them marriageable in the first place. However, married women find married men can better keep the secret and would not be as demanding, since it is love on the side for both parties. In addition, a married man seems likelier to be “faithful” to the outside woman – as far as faithfulness goes in that situation anyway.

Socially active women have more opportunities for affairs

Well, one of the reasons for increased infidelity is opportunity. Traditionally, men have been outside of the home more, so their opportunities were greater. As more women become more active professionally and socially, their social network expands. Even the use of social media and the internet makes infidelity a lot easier by providing a platform to contact available and willing partners or reconnect with old flames.

The frequency of women cheating increased in modern times for a number of reasons. There may be some merit in some of the beliefs surrounding it, but it is important to look at the other side of it to truly understand the complexity of female infidelity.


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  • SpiffyD profile image

    SpiffyD 6 years ago from The Caribbean

    Thanks for the comments everyone! They really added something extra to the hub.

  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 6 years ago

    Excellent hub!

    Both men and women cheat for the same reasons. Neither sex is more "justified" than the other. Anyone watching episodes of "Cheaters" or "The Maury Povich Show (aka) You are not the father!" is fully aware that women use the same excuses as men

  • nterry34 profile image

    nterry34 6 years ago from Nashville, TN

    This is great! I love the part where you said that women can separate passion from love. Its always bugged me when men have said "Women don't have the ability to have sex without getting their emotions tied into it." This is so not true! I have had several "relationships" with men where we were just enjoying each other and NEVER felt the urge to make something more come out of it. I heard the term "dateable vs. layable" and that makes the most sense. I'm just glad you pointed it out. Nice!!!

  • Bhanu.Jas profile image

    Bhawana Salaria 6 years ago from Australia

    I must say here that chances of both are equal because both enjoy equal freedom and right to live and life.But men are more strong in admitting whereas, women's don't like to reveal due to many reasons.Mens have guided this path to women.