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Feminism Is Dead, And Women Killed It

Updated on April 12, 2010
A charming portrayal of a strong, independent woman.
A charming portrayal of a strong, independent woman.

Feminism is dead. At least, that's what a lot of old school feminists believe looking at the latest generations of women appearing out of adolescence giggling madly and looking for 'real men' to mate with, and I'd say that to some extent, they're right.

What feminists may not realize is that feminism is not in the interests of every woman. Not every woman wants to be equal. There are many women who are quite happy assuming a subordinate role to a man and sacrificing choices in order to be looked after and provided for.

Feminists are idealists, and ideally women and men should be equal with women having all the same rights and choices as men. It's ideologically impossible to say that equal rights are bad things, however when one sees the way many women, especially younger women act, one wonders if equality is really what they are looking for.

Plenty, if not most women want to be treated like ladies by men. Although feminism claims we want equal treatment, few women ask a man out on a date, open the car door for him, make sure he is comfortable, compliment him on his dress, perhaps order for him at the restaurant and then pay the bill. In fact, a woman who did this would be viewed as an anomaly. However, a man who charmingly asks a woman out on a date, picks her up at her home, opens doors for her and pays for dinner is likely to be well regarded by the woman he is dating. As much as we love to talk about equality, there are plenty of women who don't want a bar of it, except when it becomes convenient to them.

As you'll probably be aware, I write a lot about men wearing clothing that is traditionally for women, and whilst there are some women who are on board with that, myself included, the loudest and most common objectors to men wearing women's clothing are women themselves. Men have quite calmly accepted women voting, women in the workplace, women wearing pants. Men have learned that whatever women want, women get. In fact, for a man to criticize a woman based on gender expectations is a heinous social crime that will probably get him ostracized by the fairer sex, but women still feel perfectly justified in judging and criticizing a man based on gender expectations.

No wonder men are so confused. We said we wanted to be equal, and then we pouted when we were expected to actually act equally. We wanted equal pay, but we still expected to be treated 'like a lady', unfortunately, treating a woman 'like a lady' is usually based on treating her as if she is a delicate flower who needs to be looked after, ie, not an equal at all. Yes, there is misogyny out there, yes, sometimes men are pigs, but unfortunately for women who actually do want equality, there are plenty of women also content to be sows. And perhaps that's just the way things are meant to be.


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    • terced ojos profile image

      terced ojos 

      8 years ago from

      This is so funny. I'm a forty-three year old man and I've been a secret chauvanist for as long as I can remember.

      I don't consider this a bad thing but as your hub pointed out in my life time I've met many women who don't want to be equal to men. Idealogically yes but realistically no.

      Hence so much confusion on the part of men. One minute she's your equal. The next minute "hey open the door stupid aren't you a gentleman."

      One minute it's "I can handle myself thank you." The next minute it's "aren't you going to defend me against that mans impolite comments."

      I pretty much took a wait and see attitude during my dating years; waited to see what kind of man she was expecting me to be.

      I was never confused about what my role was but women seemed to want me to be what they wanted me to be when they wanted me to be it. It must be cool being a female and only having to conform to your whims.

      As a married man with four children my wife discovered that she likes me being "The Man" just fine. She likes me taking the hits at work and in the world. She'd rather not deal with it. She likes me opening doors for her and being the strong, loving "MAN" that it appears nature wants me to be.

      It just works and it's traditional all by itself and nobody had to tell us.

      Good Hub. Many women who entered the workforce now wish they didn't have to work. They wish they had a strong man to take care of them; all you have to do is smack him on his nose and say "NO bad dog.!" When your man does something bad. When he does something good; rub him on his head and stomach and yes down there and say "That's a good boy, mommy loves you soooo much." That man will do whatever you say and you will live happilyy everafter. (SMILE)

      Some things are just simple like that. (GRIN)

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      RE: gender socialization. Tulai has a good point. What confuses youth and society is that sometime around puberty the feminist parent begins changing expectations from 'cute' dresses to 'feminist roles. Most 'feminists' I've met really want deference that borders on narcisism which advocates "it's all about them--the female." The original intention of equality for all has over-reacted to many women wanting to be catered to. So much for mutual partnership.

      Hope: I think your have done a disservice to pigs. I grew up a farm and saw boars and sows treat each other more evenhandedly and fairly than many women who hid behind their 'feminist advocacies and self interests'. I'm sorry for what my disappointment that this has not worked out better. Too many feminists send the message that they don't need men--neither as partners not friends. How healthy is that? Except when it comes to changing a car's flat tire in the rain, unclogging a sink drain, getting rid of a mouse, cleaning out rain gutters, shoveling snow from the walk and drive, etc. So it's not okay for a male to do these chores while wearing panties?

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      8 years ago

      Interesting comment, Tulai. Thanks for sharing.

    • Tulai profile image


      8 years ago from France

      If indeed feminism is dying (I don't think this is the case), then the culprit, in my humble opinion, is the way parents, school, media, caregivers-society at large, is going about children's (gender) socialization.

      Walk into any toy shop or clothes shop; watch kiddy cartoons or kiddy movies, commercials targeting kids; browse children's books; watch how parents dress their children (pink and other bright stuff for girls) and dull stuff for boys.... When it comes to gifte, girls are offered gifts like necklaces, baby dolls, crockery, pink playhouses, barbie dolls...And boys tend to get cars, trucks, tools...You will definitely not fail to see the gender differentiation in all these. Through all these, the children receive messages about their expected gender roles. And of course it does not end there. It also has to do with how parents, teachers and other care givers communicate with their children and unfortunately, a large majority of these adults reproduce gender stereotypes in when it comes to the children's socialization ...

      The women and men you describe are simply a product of this gendered socialization.


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