Filipinas Marrying/Married to Foreigners
Filipinas Married to Foreigners
A lot of Filipinas marry a foreigner for so many different reasons. I have read so many stories on blogs, on articles they have published on the internet, as well as the experiences of others that I have met over the years working in Brunei, Borneo and in the UK, where I had lived for 33 years, as well as those we met at our Bed and Breakfast. Two have resulted in marriage. There are positive and negative results to being married to Filipinas.
In many western societies, some people would smirk at Filipinas married to foreigners because they automatically think that you are a mail-order bride, or have met through social media sites. This does not happen only to Filipinas of course; it is also the same for other Asian women and around the world, but there is a different perception when it comes to Asian women. Those who are intelligent enough, have a broad enough mind to understand and will not think that way, they will actually ask how you’ve met and will listen to you. This is the same for some Filipinos here in the Philippines. Some will ask you straight, or make up their own conclusion even without knowing the facts, which to me is the height of ignorance.
Some of the Stigmas about Filipinas
Stigma surrounding these situations, are there any?
Yes! Some would say that Filipinas involved with or marrying foreigners are only after greener pastures in the USA, other western countries, or pretty much any other countries where they think they will be better off. Another is for financial gain, which is why there is a long standing joke about what to look for in a future husband: someone who has the Four ‘M’S, Matandang Mayaman at Madaling Mamatay (Old, Rich, and will die soon), and someone who can well afford to give them what they want as well as provide for her family too.
So, why should a Filipina who may have what it takes to make it in life, want to become the object of such an unpleasant public perception? Does it bother you if other people would think this way?
Some of the Stigmas about Foreign Men
As for foreign men coming to the Philippines, what do some Filipinos think of them?
The stigma that surrounds them is that they have been rejected by women from their country, and/or that they have had many failed marriages to women in their home country.
Based only on my own experiences, it would seem that a lot, but by no means all foreign men, who come to seek wives in the Philippines can be very old, some lack decency or a good attitude with regards to women. Some even lack basic personal hygiene. Many seem expressly promiscuous and some are alcoholics. Some foreign men actually hate the Philippines and Filipino men, but they sure love the Filipinas. If these men have had no hope of finding a worthwhile partner or manage to marry in Western society, they may not even get a chance to find a person that would actually commit to the relationship, love them or have a good, long lasting relationship in the Philippines either.
Why Foreigners like Filipinas
What are some of the reasons why foreign men come to the Philippines to find wives?
Some Filipinas are attractive, beautiful even. Many are petite, sweet, caring and many are in great shape. Other traits are; they consider the practical implications of a marriage, some can be conservative in moral and sexual issues. Most Filipinas value family and motherhood, they place a high value on becoming wives and a mother to their children even if they have a good career, because most are brought up to believe that family always comes first. They do not mind getting involved with older men because they have more experience in life and are stable and more responsible. Better than most Filipino men.
Try dating an upper class Filipina that won’t benefit from you financially, or a Filipina with a passport and lives abroad with a career. The woman will more than likely be no different from a Western one. I could be wrong, but she may have some of the characteristics of a western woman and still has the same values as a Filipina when it comes to marriage, morality, sexuality and some conservativeness in those areas.
So, Let’s be Honest
Do these western men come to the Philippines to find love first time, or to try once more to find a partner when they have failed in the past?
They may be simply going to a place where they could possibly find a good woman they want to be with for the rest of their lives and have a family, either by living here or taking their family to the west. Everyone has another chance to be happy in life if they do not wish to be alone until they leave this earth.
Let Me be Clear on Some Other Points
There are foreigners in the Philippines who come for work, who come for travel, who come for political or religious reasons, who come to study, who come to get cheaper medical care, who come to retire and try to live here and learn from their Filipino neighbors. Some of these people will fall in love with a Filipina. I think it’s great that they do because they have given enough time to know the culture first, get familiar, mingle and actually take their time to know people. Then, there may be a chance that their marriage or partnership would work only if they have good understanding, are truthful, give respect, listen to each other’s points of view and work on their relationship through all the problems they may encounter along the way.
As to those who have exhausted their dating potential in the western country or their home country, go to a place where women seem desperate enough to date them and expect the women to just agree to what they want instead of trying to improve themselves. Instead of learning the culture and being able to adapt to the way of life; those type of men are looking for a servant and not a partner. Those men who love having the woman but hate her culture and possibly want to "rescue" her from it. There are men who probably want to date them young, and will leave them as soon as they mature because their women learn and get wiser, as well as lose the glamour of youth. These are men who think they have finally found someone desperate enough that they can mistreat, cheat on, or even abuse. Sometimes it happens. Unfortunately, such men are more than just a minority. It does exist and it happens.
But Life is Full of Surprises
More often than not, things just have a way of showing up in your life when you least expect them and the next thing you know, WHAM! You've just been hit between the eyes. This exactly is happening to some Filipinas.
But then be reminded that we already know what the common perception was on exotic Filipina-foreigner dating even before meeting each other and so, no matter what the real reason for getting involved with each other was, even though you may truly love each other, the world would still choose to believe the worst. Just remind yourselves that as long as you’re both happy and your conscience is clear, the whole world can believe whatever they want. I SAY, WHO CARES! THEY ARE NOT THE ONES RUNNING YOUR LIVES.
This May Help
Don't go for looks alone; they can be deceiving.
Don't go for wealth alone; even that could fade away
Go for someone who makes you smile, it will make dark days bright
Go for someone who would listen and understand
Go for someone who would truly care and be responsible
Go for someone who has the same values and principles in life
If you find the person who fits you, you may have a better chance in a life-long partnership.
Remember both have to be willing to work together so that love will flourish.
Find the one that makes your heart smile always!
I'm attaching some guidelines on how to get married in the Philippines.
Philippine Embassy Requirements
The LCR (Local Civil Register) in each municipality is run slightly differently.
Additional Requirements depending on where you want to get married, Church or Civil wedding
Before Tying the Knot
Philippines Embassy Requirements
Getting Married in the Philippines
- Getting Married in the Philippines
US visa processing
You're Marrying a Foreigner: Secure This Additional Paperwork.
- 2-in-2-1 - Tips - Can Divorced People get married in Church?
How can someone who has been divorced go about arranging a church wedding?
- Requirements if You're Marrying a Foreigner - Wedding Articles
Secure these additional paperwork in case you'll be exchanging I Do's with a foreigner.