- Gender and Relationships
Five Relationship Fundamentals that Boost Good Friendship
Nothing can compare to a friendship that is available when you need it most. It represents all that is good in a happy life: communication, appreciation, companionship, empowerment and purpose for living in an ever changing world. Without good friendship, whether it is between family members such as parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, or a friendship which has developed between two strangers at a soccer game, the world would be quiet a lonely place.
Many of the best friendships last a lifetime, despite the ups and downs of living. When we find that special friend, the best thing is to never let go. Good friendships are like good marriages. There may be many relationship disagreements, but through it all, the friendship grows stronger. A friendships without conflict is highly questionable. Relationships are meant to grow. But growth can not happen with conflict.
Good friendship is based on a number of dynamic qualities. The first is communication. Each partner must acknowledge this activity as the foundation for sustaining their friendship. Without regular conversations on the things that enhance or impact the relationship, a friendship can spiral out of intimacy. For instance, when we are overwhelmed with a condition or situation, taking to a friend about it can lift us up emotional as well as psychologically. Our friend may also provide us with a timely solution to our problem.
How strong is your friendship?
Appreciation is another good friendship quality. We all like it when other tell us how important we have been in their lives. It is human to feel needed. When we receive post cards for various occasions, including holidays, birthdays or simple congratulations from our friends, we feel delighted to have positively impacted their lives. Appreciation doesn't have to be expressed only doing holidays. It can be given any time and anywhere.
Not many of us can smile long without companionship. We need to feel someone else s energy surrounding us. We want someone with which we can do interesting things, such a walking and talking through the park, fishing in a local creek, reminiscing about old times, going for a bite to eat at the local restaurant around the corner, or watching a favorite sports team on Sunday evening. Companionship is wonderful expression of the deepest friendships.
Empowerment is a highly effective friendship quality. Good friends build up one another. When we encourage our friend, we tell them that they can do anything reasonable they set out to do. For example, if a friend wants to go back to school, we empower them to do so. If our friend is expecting a child but is afraid of not being a good parent, we tell them that we going to make sure they are the best parent in the community. This may sound exaggerated, but it isn't farfetched. You can empower your friend to be among the best of moms.
Purpose for living
Good friendships give us a purpose for living. In fact, our purpose for living is based on our relationships with those that are surrounding us in our daily lives. If we have friends we can trust, our lives seem to be more happier, but if we have no friends, our lives tend to be more gloomy. For example, moving into a new location or new city can be a lonely adventure without a friend to share your experience with.
Finding Good Friendship
However, if we find ourselves in a new city due to relocation or some other unavoidable reason, we must be careful in choosing our friendships. We must not fall into common pit falls such as desperation and in discrimination. This can eventually become harmful to our own livelihoods. The world can be cruel. People who are purposeless, anti-social, dishonest, desperate, and violent are unlikely to provide friendships that are profitable to the health of a relationship. We must not, out of loneliness, fall into such traps. Many people have choosing potential friends out of desperation and have suffered a steep cost. Not taking in consideration the character of a stranger is inviting a recipe for personal disaster.
Good friendships can develop in places where people are doing something or going somewhere positive. Universities, workplaces, committees, churches, good neighborhoods and communities are places where people are doing something or going somewhere positive. However, there might be a bad apple or two even in these places, nevertheless, such places offer the best opportunities for finding good friendship. People in these places are working with dreams, goals and plans for their lives and communities.
We must examine the friendships of our lives and see what impact they have on the relationship. If the impact is positive, we must do our we can to sustain the relationship. But if a so called friend has cost a series of continual problems in our lives, either physically, emotionally or psychologically, we may need to have a serious conversation about the continuation of the union. Releasing a toxic friend who may have been in our lives for years, may be hard, but it will pay off in long run with more positive friends and companions.