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Finding Love Online - How I met my Soulmate and You Can Too
Finding Love Online - It Can Happen
Que eye roll now. I know, I know, I would have rolled my eyes at that title too at one point in my life but, believe it or not, it is totally possible to find love online. I am living proof. This August I will be celebrating my 12th year of marriage to the love of my life who I met online. And I promise you that if you are sincere about finding someone to share your life with and are ready to take the plunge into the world of online dating it can happen for you too.
My Online Love Story
I didn’t set out to find love online. I was working nights at a menial job with little to do but surf the net, when a friend of mine recommended I try chat rooms to combat the boredom. I was pretty resistant at first, thinking that chat rooms were either for Dungeon and Dragon enthusiasts or pedophiles, but she convinced me otherwise and I gave it a try. A few weeks later I was chatting with a person wittily named "Oldinmagroin." Our first conversation lasted five hours and we haven’t gone a day without speaking to each other since. In a little less then five months we were married. Did I mention he lived in England and I lived in Canada? After typing and speaking to each other for almost 4 months he got on a plane to meet me and never went back. We got married in Las Vegas five weeks after meeting each other in person. 12 years and 3 children later we have no regrets.
A Lid for Every Pot
I love that expression, the idea that there is someone for everyone fills my heart with happiness and I absolutely, 100% believe in it. Sometimes it’s just a little hard to find that person, maybe you need to broaden your search, which is why I think finding love online is a brilliant. According to the commercials 1 in 5 relationships get their start from online dating, but I suspect that number is a little higher. My mother, my aunt and two of my closest friends all met their long term partners online. And they were all people they might not have necessarily run into had it not been for the internet. The world opens up to you when you are open to the possibilities.
Did you meet your current partner through online dating?
There are literally hundreds of online dating sites available to people these days. Although I didn’t use one, I do think they can work. Lavalife, eHarmony and match.com are all sites that have been around for quite some time. They are profile based and provide you with potential matches based on an extensive questionnaire you have filled out. People can also contact you based on your profile. It requires a monthly fee, which some people prefer because it weeds out people who are not serious. Plenty of Fish is a free online dating site that is also profile based without the extensive questionnaire. From what I have been told it is the best place to go for random hook-ups and casual relationships. Zoosk.com and OceansofPeople are also free online dating sites that could lead you to the one that you want.
If you don’t want to put yourself out there for the world to see on a dating site then chat rooms and forums might be the way forward for you. Just pick a topic you care about and start chatting or posting. Strike up conversations with people who seem interesting and genuine, who knows where it will lead? Joining online groups can be a great way to connect with like minded people who might not live in your area. I think the biggest mistake people make in looking for a love connection is to limit the area they are looking in. The world is a big place, the” lid,” to your “pot,” could be anywhere so why look in one little corner of the world?
If you do opt to go the dating site route, you will need to create a profile. Think of it like your dating business card. The picture you choose and the information you share will either attract or repel people. Here are a few tips:
- Use a recent picture -Do not misrepresent yourself, if you are looking for someone to love the real you then show them the real you from the start. And for the love of beans do not post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit. Would you go on a first date with someone dressed that way? That being said choose a super flattering picture, a high angle is everyone’s best friend.
- Be honest - Don’t say you like bungee jumping when you prefer reality television and knitting, again be yourself. If you are looking for “the one,” don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
- Be Open Minded – Don’t be too specific in what you’re looking for (ex. a 6 foot demi-god in the medical profession.) Being super specific may close the door on someone wonderful who doesn't meet all of your ridiculous standards. I would have never pegged myself for going for someone ten years older than me who is under 6 feet tall and works in finance, but I couldn’t be happier. (My husband is 5’11 by the way.)
- Be upfront about deal breakers – Drug use, divorced, children, religion, some things are non-negotiable. State this from the beginning to avoid future heart break.
- Keep it short – There is nothing wrong with a little mystery, you want people to get a sense of who you are and what you’re looking for, but keep them guessing. No one wants to read your life story on a dating profile, but if you keep it short and snappy they might want to hear you talk about it in person over a bottle of merlot.
Just because you are being honest about who you are doesn’t mean the person you plan on meeting is.
- Never meet someone you’ve met online alone.
- Always tell people where you are going and who you are with and make sure you have a picture available of your new love in case they aren’t who they say they are.
- Do a quick Google search to see what you can dig up.
- Check out other dating sites to see if they have profiles on any of them and are using the same name and information.
- Find out where they work and have a friend check out their story – do they actually work where they say they do? Are they wearing a wedding band? Do six kids show up and call him “Dad?”
Hope Springs Eternal
There is someone for everyone. If you are honest with yourself and others and put yourself out there love will come to you. As corny as it sounds you have to be open to love. So find your best picture, make a bullet list of all the awesome things about you and go for it! Love is waiting and it might just be a mouse click away.