- Gender and Relationships
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Do we women expect too much from a relationship? The answer to that question is probably yes.
The scenario usually goes like this: girl meets boy, falls in love with boy, gets married and like in a romantic movie, lives happily ever after. The thought of that happening sounds surreal and would certainly go down a treat with all those die-hard romance novices.
Unfortunately though, life is not like a movie and realistically, I would have better luck attracting the office geek rather than my dream man. Which leads me to ask: is there such a thing as a Mr Right?
Having recently entered my late twenties, it got me thinking about this question where I found myself being forced to think and reassess my life. Am I happily settled in my career? Did I fulfil my new year’s resolution that I drunkenly promised to keep from last year’s Christmas party? (and the year before that!) and lost that extra weight, have I bought my studio apartment and dream car? And above all, is my wardrobe filled with all the designer clobber I’ve always wanted i.e. my Jimmy Choo shoes! Not surprisingly, most of the answers were a No.
If turning a quarter of a century wasn’t depressing enough, then being bombarded with phone calls from aunts, uncles and other distant relatives I never knew existed, going on about how it’s high time for me to settle down and get married didn’t drive me crazy, making me wish I could just disappear into thin air, then I wondered what would. No girl needs the constant pressure and to be reminded that she is getting older- or as my mother bluntly puts it, ‘You don’t want to be left on a shelf all by yourself like an old can of beans past its sell by date’. Ouch! Subtlety was never her strongest point.
Meeting up with my girlfriends every weekend to go shopping, clubbing, drinking or even for a good old chat in the Sauna at our local gym, is perhaps the only time we can let off some steam and to reflect on the experiences we have had in our lives over the past few months. Be it squabbles with family at home, relationships, break ups or stress at work, it did get us thinking about what we would expect our ideal man to be like. As a result of the discussion, it wasn’t long before we were introduced to the ‘exciting’ world of speed dating...
Having clearly made up our minds what we were looking for in a man (in my case, someone handsome, funny, intelligent and was at least on my level mentally with a good package), I decided to try and go with an open mind…though my patience ran out half way through the night. How can one possibly decide she has met her match in the space of two minutes? Going from table to table, putting on a fake smile that made my face hurt wasn’t my idea of fun. The men were either geeky looking with boring and dull personalities, or the complete opposite- drop dead gorgeous, were players with a shallow hypocritical nature who had no clue what makes us women tick. Having that special connection and offering security, excitement, family values and above all love, trust and commitment, just didn’t seem to occur to them. The night was a complete disaster.
It took a while to sink in, but then it suddenly hit me. There was no such think as a Mr Right- or even a Miss Right for that matter! Every human has flaws, but it’s these flaws that makes us unique and stand out-and possibly helps us to understand each other better.
The experience taught me the most valuable lesson- learning to love the person that I am and meeting the expectations I have of myself.
Though, I’m sure there is a soul mate out there for me as well as for everyone else…I just have to kiss a lot of frogs before I find my prince charming.