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First date - Advice for Women

Updated on April 29, 2011

"First date" advice for women

Since the dawn of internet dating, the number of “first dates” that women go on has increased exponentially. Most women no longer think to themselves: “it will be really nice to go on a date”; instead, they wonder if there will be the possibility of a second date once the first date is over.

In some ways, internet dating has made life much easier for single men and women. However, one of the downsides of this type of dating is that the first date for many people now represents the very first encounter with the other individual- this in itself heightens the anticipation of the first date and can be very nerve wrecking.

Irrespective of the means by which women have met their companion for their first date however, most women are aware that the dating emporium is huge, and that substandard advertisement of their internal and external attributes may keep them in and out of the dating market for a very long time.

This article aims to help women to prepare for their first date, by highlighting ten points that will allow them to approach their first date with some level of confidence.

If you are one of the women out there who will like some constructive advice on how to impress on your first date without being hypocritical in the process, this article is for you.

1) Arrive to your date on time.

A date is no different from any other appointment in this respect- you will subject yourself to being wrongfully judged if you do not arrive to your date on time. For some men, tardiness matters; for others, it may not. Your safest bet is to arrive on time.

2) Dress appropriately.

There is an art to looking attractive and appealing, without looking slutty. Most men like to see revealing assets on a woman, but do not like their own woman to be presented in a distasteful manner. If a man gets the idea that you enjoy giving a free show, this can be a major turnoff as far as considering you as a potential girlfriend.

3) Be yourself.

Throughout your date, it is important for you to be who you truly are. Being yourself does not mean using expletives or passing gas around a dinner table. It simply means that you should not try to divulge things about yourself that are not true, in an effort to impress your date.

Without revealing too much about yourself on a first date, you should be as honest as you possibly can. Each guy is different and will have his own unique set of criteria that need to be met before he considers asking a woman out on a second date. It is okay if you do not fit into one particular guy's set of criteria- there are many more fish in the sea. If you make the mistake of presenting yourself to be someone you are not, it will cost you dearly down the road.

4) Listen to your date.

Do not just hear the words that come out your date’s mouth- listen to him. When you truly listen to someone, all of their words, mannerisms and facial expressions will tell you volumes about them. It is important to gather all that you can about your date during your first encounter; refrain from getting caught up in what your date may be thinking of you.

5) Ask questions.

It is important to keep a meaningful exchange of conversation on your first date. Do not expect the guy to ask all of the questions and to do all of the talking. One of the worst things that can happen on a first date, is to reach a point where you both have nothing to say to each other. This can become very awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. . It takes two to tango- do your part in keeping the conversation up to speed.

6) Do not talk too much.

As important as it is to have a nice flow of conversation, it is equally important that you do not dominate the conversation with talks about your own affairs. Keep the conversation as interactive as you possibly can.

7) Do not get too personal on the first date.

A first date is not the occasion to be speaking about your exes, about his exes, your past relationship problems, or about any personal preferences you may have with respect to religion, politics and sex. Maintain some level of neutrality on your first date.

8) Keep focused during your date.

There is a reason that you decided to go on a date with this individual, and it is not to gape at the people passing by, nor is it to check text messages that may be coming in to you. As a matter of fact, your cell phone should be off or on silent during your first date. Remember, even if at some point during your date, you make a decision to never see this person again, it will be very impolite to show signs of this. Be respectful to your date throughout the time that you spend with him. If the tables were turned, you most definitely will not appreciate it.

9) Let the guy pay on the first date.

Most men like the idea of feeling that they are solvent and capable, and will be offended if you offer to pay for the first date or even the first few dates. If you start to develop a relationship with your dating companion later down the road, you may offer to pay for the date. Again, each guy is different, so look for the cues with regard to this.

10) Do not sleep with a guy on your first date.

Even though you may sense that there is strong chemistry between you and your dating companion when you first meet, it is never a good idea to have sex on a first date. Men looking for serious relationships do not expect women to have sex with them on the first date, irrespective of how much they may desire the woman. If you have any respect for yourself, you will refrain from having sex on your first date.

I hope that these first date tips have been helpful to you. Dating can be a very bumpy road for some people. One key fact that women should remember before going on a first date is that each guy is uniquely different and has his own set of rules. If you do not pass one guy’s test, it certainly does not mean that you will not pass another’s.

Regardless of how the first date turns out, as a woman, you should always aim to leave the room with the same level of confidence with which you entered.

I wish you the best of luck on your first date, and remember: there is a sea of men out there, and one of them is definitely for you.


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