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Five Tips for Women to Move On from a Bad Romance with a Guy

Updated on March 16, 2017

Hey, girl friend. How many hours have you been crying? Or has it been days? Weeks? Months? Until when are you going to beat yourself up over something that can never be undone? Just remember that not even Harry Potter nor David Blaine can make the past go away.

Breakup Blues - Handle Your Heartache Well

A breakup is not the end of the world. Go ahead and be depressed about it, but set a time limit please. Love yourself and rise up.
A breakup is not the end of the world. Go ahead and be depressed about it, but set a time limit please. Love yourself and rise up. | Source

Many women who just recently had a failed romance struggle initially to forget the past. However, this that does not mean it is impossible for them to overcome the pain.

Here are five tips for women to move on after a failed relationship with a guy:

1. Forget about him. Forget about men - for the meantime.

Easy to say, but hard to do, sure. The mind tends to remember the good and bad times you've had with him, but you need to forget him for your own good.

It's not a long-term thing, of course, but just enough for you to recover from the fall. Time zooms fast and everything changes.

Choose to think that everything will be okay in the end and that you will find another man to love and who will love you back as well. And yes, he'll be better than your last one - hopefully.

2. Focus on yourself. Improve yourself.

To help achieve #1, do this tip. Choose to put an end or a deadline for wallowing in depression and then think about working on YOU.

Pursue a dream, say, learning to play the guitar or how to do ballroom dancing, anything that will make you busy. Go to the gym or exercise or do house chores or read the books that have been waiting for you to open them. Remember that a sound mind is influenced by a sound body, so you need to improve on both.

Stay away from people who belittle you or devalue your worth not just as a woman, but as a human being as well. Undoubtedly, your former mate is one of them.

Go jog now, girl. Love yourself more. Make sure that the next time he sees you, you're happier without him. Living your life well without him in it is your best revenge.

3. Stop searching. It is only when you stop searching that somebody else comes along.

Who doesn't like a pleasant surprise? As you do #2, your mind will be focused somewhere else and before you know it, you're relishing your time alone and no longer thinking of the man who hurt you.

In addition, as you savor your freedom, there could be some guy already waiting for you to notice him. You might also be that someone he never expected to come along after recovering from a breakup himself.

4. Never rely on another person for your happiness because you will never be complete.

"You complete me," said Jerry Maguire (in a movie of the same title). Sweet, romantic words. Seems like no woman won't fall for it.

However, "self-completion" is a goal that solely relies on you - not on another person. Your happiness is up to you, not your mate.

It's good to have a partner who makes an effort to make you happy because it also makes him happy. Otherwise, if it's just a matter of "duty" as a boyfriend, he'd fail you for unmet expectations.

Though a guy likes to feel wanted and desired, it makes you more interesting to him if you still have a life away from him or without relying on him too much. Making yourself happy without anyone else being responsible for it is a sign of healthy self-love.

Thus, you need to nurture yourself more and help yourself value who you are (including your imperfections), so that if the next relationship fails to succeed, you still have your self-respect intact. Also remember to choose to stay happy even if you're alone or living a celibate life.

5. Go slow.

Patience is a necessary ingredient in life and in all kinds of relationships, whether online or offline, romantic or otherwise. The same goes with trust. As you embark on your next journey to find a new mate, it's better to do this. Heeding tips 1-4 certainly takes time.

Remember that the world is a smorgasbord, a kaleidoscope of personalities. Unless the relationship is all just for show or simply a game, it is difficult for a person to withdraw from who he/she really is.

Bear in mind that a heartbreak is no excuse to stop living and loving. Just take it slow. Take your time to choose. Love yourself well. Hopefully, your next mate will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Together, you will make a past you want to remember during your years together.

A Moving On Question

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Songs for Moving On from A Bad Relationship

Want some inspiration to move on from your ex? Have a sound trip and reflect on the lyrics of these eight songs. You can also sing along if you want and have a mini-karaoke session to boost your self-esteem. In times of emotional crashes, it's best to be kind to yourself.

Just Like a Pill by Pink

Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

Stronger by Kelly Clarkson

I Don't Need a Man by Pussycat Dolls

Turning Tables by Adele

You'll See by Madonna

Life Goes On by Leann Rimes

The Last Song I'll Write for You by David Cook

A Song Reflection - Moving On Means Loving Yourself More

When a partner makes you sick - literally and figuratively - rather than make you feel good about yourself, better think again about wanting to stay involved with him further. Besides, whoever raised you didn't do so just for you to be treated like dirt by another person. Value yourself the way people who really love you have valued you.

You will never be perfect; you will always commit mistakes. These are the "facts" of being human. However, you also have the ability to learn from these mistakes, not because you want to be perfect, but because you want to be better and do better.

Relationships are often challenging. Heartaches can either make or break you. It's up to you to choose which course of action you want to take. Just remember though that one man isn't worth your life and your future, especially if he doesn't or has never given you the kind of respect and love that you deserve.

No matter what, you can always pick yourself up from every fall. Just think, "If others can do it, I can do it too". Easy to say, but hard to do, yes - but it all starts with the decision to get up.

Thinking of Revenge?

It's not worth it. He's not worth your personal freedom. Just remember these song lyrics from Danny Wilson. After all, the best revenge is when you're able to live your life with happiness and without him in it. Hopefully, he'd realize sooner or later that you were his loss and not the other way around.

And though this song refers to women who have already found someone new, it is better to heal yourself first, make yourself whole before you get involved with another man. At best, it tells you that women whose hearts have been wounded are capable of moving on and that there are better men than their past lovers.

Mary's Prayer

Everything is wonderful
Being here is heavenly
Every single day, she says
Everything is free

I used to be so careless
As if I couldn't care less
Did I have to make mistakes?
When I was Mary's prayer

Suddenly the heavens rolled
Suddenly the rain came down
Suddenly was washed away
The Mary that I knew

So when you find somebody who gives
Think of me and celebrate
I made such a big mistake
When I was Mary's Prayer

So if I say save me save me
Be the light in my eyes
And if I say ten Hail Mary's
Leave a light on heaven for me

Blessed is the one who shares
The power and your beauty, Mary
Blessed is the millionaire
Who shares your wedding day

So when you find somebody to give
Think of me and celebrate
I made such a big mistake
When I was Mary's Prayer

CHORUS (twice)

If you want the fruit to fall
You have to give the tree a shake
But if you shake the tree too hard,
The bough is gonna break

And if I can't reach the top of the tree
Mary you can hold me up there
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer

CHORUS (twice)

Save me, save me
Be the light in my eyes
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer
What I wouldn't give to be (save me)
When I was Mary's prayer

Mary's Prayer by Danny Wilson

Post-Breakup Step: Be Kind to Yourself

Moving on from a breakup is a matter of choice.
Moving on from a breakup is a matter of choice. | Source

Say Goodbye to Heartache - Move On and Smile

Choose to be happy as you move on from a bad relationship with someone to a good relationship with yourself.
Choose to be happy as you move on from a bad relationship with someone to a good relationship with yourself. | Source


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    • juliejvargas profile image

      juliejvargas 4 years ago from Australia

      great article , keep writing these articles. It was great to read this article

    • Leann Zarah profile image

      Leann Zarah 4 years ago

      thanks, julie. glad you liked it. :)

    • profile image

      Jessica Powell 3 years ago

      I needed an article like this..thank you so much

    • Leann Zarah profile image

      Leann Zarah 2 years ago

      Glad you liked it, Jessica. Hope the tips have been really useful to you. (Sorry for the delayed reply to your comment. I only saw it awhile ago.)

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