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Six Ways To Keep Your Husband Interested

Updated on March 12, 2014

I've been married for almost a year now and the relationship as a whole has been going on for almost a year and a half. Now over the years I've also watched my sisters marriages closely. My husband and I are still stuck on a state of being in what people would call the honeymoon phase. We've had a grand total of about three or four big fights and we are still completely and utterly in love and it doesn't look like it'll be changing anytime soon. We even have a baby and still haven't changed much. I've discovered that there's six ways to keep your husband interested in the relationship and happy. Most of the things doesn't include a great night in bed like most would think. So without further ado, here's some my five ways.

1. Communication - My husband still doesn't know everything about me and I still have things to learn about him. Some people say this isn't a great thing but in all honesty it is. It gives you something to have heartfelt conversations about, new things to be interested in, and most importantly another thing to love about your spouse. I've noticed that a lot of married couples run out of things to talk about, a simple thing to do is find something new that interests you and talk about it.

2. Similar Interests - My husband and I have a lot of things in common but at the same time we have a lot of differences. The greatest way to keep him on his feet is to let him know about the interests you have and see if he'd like to try them himself if he hasn't already decided he doesn't like it.

3. Date Night - I'm aware most people know about this one, however it doesn't always have to consist of going out. It can consist of just renting a movie and watching it together, or ordering pizza and just enjoying each-others company. I mean, lets face it this world gets more and more expensive everyday and staying home is the cheapest thing to do.

4. Trying Something Different - This one refers to sexual interactions. Most couples tend to stop doing the deed due to being purely bored of the normal routine. There's a simple fix to that, check around online, figure out a new way to go about it, make it interesting again. Even try different positions if it'll help.

5. Family Time - This pretty much refers to the whole family, a dinner with your parents, siblings, or even just you, your husband and your kids. Family dinners are always entertaining and always give you and your husband new things to talk about later at night. Not to mention it helps with bonding time on your family life as well as your relationship.

6. Day Off - Give him a day or two to himself. This one is pretty self explanatory, just leave him be for the day and let him do whatever his little heart desires. Of course I don't mean cheating or anything like that but more of a day with the boys, or even a TV day for him.

Most of this list is composed by what me and my husband do, and it obviously works pretty well seeing as we're stuck in that honeymoon phase still. It doesn't really take much to keep your husband interested and happy, all it takes is a little effort.

Update Almost Five Years Into My Marriage

When I first wrote this hub my marriage was still in the starting stages. As time goes by things tend to get a little more difficult which always happens. There's always ups and downs but one thing I've learned and am continuing to learn is communication plays one of the biggest roles still.

I won't say my marriage is perfect, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. If you think you are involved in a perfect relationship there is something wrong.

Problems arrive, things happen, fights ensue... it's an uphill battle really. Things can go from great to horrible in a matter of minutes. It's how you deal with the issues as they arise that helps with how it will turn out. If you deal with a problem the wrong way it could be enough to end a good, or great, thing.

I don't feel anything on my list needs to be changed. Those things are still working for me and why wouldn't they be? It's the basics after all. However, always expect the unexpected. I never thought that here I would be at 23 and my husband would be the only one with a job. I understand it's tough to be a stay at home mom with a 4 year old but I also understand my husband goes through hell at work to. He has every right to be exhausted when he gets home from a 6 to 8 hour shift as a server on the Las Vegas strip. The issue is when he's working these hours, and working six days a week its hard to find that time to put aside because he just wants to relax on his day off.

It makes date night and family time more difficult. I'm actually amazed that we are still this happy together sometimes but then again, when you don't spend much time together because of work or the kids its understandable that you take the time you have and cherish that much more. With that said I'd like to add one more thing to the list...

7. Intimacy - This doesn't only refer to the sexual aspect of it. You don't need to throw off your clothes and have a hot passionate night just to be intimate with your spouse. Don't take those moments for granted really. Heck, I'm happy with just cuddles and talking at this point. Just being close to your spouse can really make theirs and your day that much better.

That's really all I have for now to be honest. Most likely I will update this list as my marriage progresses.

Going On 8 Years Strong

So here's a little change of direction for what this hub originally started out as. It's been almost eight years since I married Joey and while I can't say we've grown up at all or a lot has changed since day one I can say some things do deserve a little revising. For five years this hub has remained focused on the husband, though some rules do apply to the wife's happiness, I feel like a few pointers have been left out.

With that said I figured I'd conjoin a few things up and put some things into better light. The above steps are rules to keeping each other happy and I can't help but feel there were a few things left out.

8. Time Off For The Wife - I really don't feel much light needs to be shined on that one because for the most part as long as we don't have husbands with trust issues they tend to be more willing to let the wife go out on a girls night than women tend to be about letting husbands out of the house with the boys. It's no secret that sometimes us wives, especially the stay at home moms, need some time out.

It's no surprise to anyone that has kids that the first few years can be stressful and cause some issues in a marriage if you let the stress levels build up too much but for us it got a lot easier once our son started school. Childcare is extremely expensive in this day and age and with the economy in shambles and a lot of people barely being able to afford to live it can put pressure on a marriage. While I miss having my little boy at home with me on a daily basis it's also refreshing for me and my husband to have that alone time in the school hours.

I'm huge on family time but I'm also still a strong believer in couples needing time by themselves as well as on their own for a bit. If a woman or man is constantly having trust issues there's a good chance the man or woman is going to stray, they're already being accused of it why not after all? Not all guys are bad, not all females are she-devils. The main thing I'm saying is at the end of the day what matters most in a relationship is finding the right one. Keep your chin up because one of the best feelings in the world is love, not just from your family or kids but from someone, after no matter how long you've been with them, you can still look at them and say 'They are definitely the one for me'.

In conclusion the main factors at play are love, bonding, fun, happiness, communication, space and the most important factor in it all trust. Stepping away from just one of those things can collapse everything right in front of your eyes. Life will throw many heartbreaks, hardships and trials at you, the main factor in coming out of it successful is moving past it and not letting it get you down.


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    • profile image

      Vaness 4 years ago

      Wow. This is all spam! You should delete every comment that has an email address in it that talks about "spell casting." What jerks.

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      Aparna 5 years ago

      Its almost 10 months of my marriage and my husband is hardly interested in me.He gives more time to his business and friends rather then me.We hardly talk with each other.Every night he comes late.I can't understand what to do.

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      Amy 5 years ago

      Great list up above! My husband hasn't been interested in me for alittle over 45 years. Sex and intimacy was the first to go, and that went away on our wedding night. I've had sex once the first, last and only time, and on the second day I was informed that he was going to work the midnight shift all holidays and over time he can and he even worked all his vacation and he was moving to the basement where he was going to eat and sleep. I was told to be quiet don't bother me and don't talk to me. So in two days I was married, abandoned and totally lonely. I never understood what went wrong, we had no kids, my parents didn't want me back. So we have lived in the same house but two separate lives. Its so bad we enter and exit the house in different places and he won't park his car next to mine. I park in a three car garage and he parks in an unattached garage. He has no TV, friends, phone, computer goes no where, dresses like a bum, long scraggly hair and beard. Just him and his shop. Hes retired has a great pension, saved a lot of money and good health benefits. I want for nothing !!!!! Except love and togetherness.

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      Sandra Ortiz 5 years ago

      Wow it might be useful 4 sum ppl but 4 me it didn't work. I've been married for five years gave him space he cheated. Guys are tricky they find the way how to cheat and lie. He lied to me since the first day I met him and denied it when I cought him with too prostitutes. He said I was crazy and sick on my mind. I'm in da process of divorcing but, it's hard when we have twin boys of age 3. So ladies I'm sorry to burst your bubbles but, 1 out of 100 men don't cheat and I'm not saying it cause mines cheated. I have guy friends and they all cheat on there wife's. While they think everything is candyland

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      Kim Riggin 5 years ago

      My husband and I are still growing apart and I want him to notice me more than he did in High School.I don't know how to tell him that. I want him all to myself but he wants to try new things and I don't want to. What should I do?

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      HappyWife 6 years ago

      I've been happily married 11.5 years! Our marriage grows stronger for the both of us as time goes on. You do have great points, but it takes both husband and wife to keep the marriage strong. My husband fulfills all my needs physically and emotionally. In the 12.5 years of being together we have only gotten into 2 fights where we raised our voices over simple things. They key to a good marriage is trust, communication, respect, and intimacy. Neither my husband or I nag at each other or the children. We smile at each other through out the day. It's important to stay positive and not complain too often. This can really be difficult when one suffers from an illness or chronic injury. I broke my neck 3 years ago and live in severe chronic pain, so remaining positive is very difficult daily, but not impossible. Compliment one another frequently. Tell each other thank you even for the small things your spouse does for you. Write your spouse a letter from your heart letting them know how much you appreciate them and how well they are raising the children if you have them. I can keep going on, but I'm running out of time. Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when both parties meet and fulfill each other needs.

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      alex 6 years ago

      ive been married for 9 months i know its not much, but due to financial problems well i fell sexually he isn't attracted to me anymore.. he watches porn intead of coming onto me.. he was my first everything and now im starting to think we married to soon.. any ideas on how to make it work are welcome

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      Lia 6 years ago

      Leah, one of the best things you can do in a situation like that is drop the kid off at your parent's house every Saturday morning and do something you both like to do for a few hours. It doesn't matter if it's a movie or an orchestra or even a walk around the park, but you and your Hubby need a little alone time while you're still awake and ready to go. If you do that and there are still problems, then I suggest you both sit down and talk about it. I've only been married a year, and my husband was in Afghanistan for six months of it, but the only way we got through was open communication, even if all he could talk about was how cold it was and that his afghan cat, Mr. Whiskers, was a wonderful heater.

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      leah 7 years ago

      Hmm thanks for that advice ive been married for 3 years now but been together for 9, were still young with an amazing 14 month old daugher, we love each other so much, but were finding it hard to be nice to each other when he gets home from work,his tired from work im tired from the baby and we end up talking to each other like crap. i hate it cause we hurt each other, but we cant seem to stop, we known we love each other but we cant seem to get past this silly stage.... and when it comes to our sex life we both just seem to tired. i understand having a young baby is hard work but im worried one day he will realise its not worht it... weve been through so much but at this point we have lost our spart and we both want it back but feel like we don't know what else to do.....

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      Been There 7 years ago

      He's either an alcoholic or cheating or both. Letting traffic die down? Please. I'm sorry this sounds so harsh, but if you have the means, hire a private detective for a week and see what's really going on. He's not going to admit he's cheating.

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      Desperate 7 years ago

      I agree with your list somewhat. But I have been married 11 years now with 2 kids under 6, and my husband goes to work at 5:30 and strolls in after 8:00. Only after he has hit the bar for a couple of drinks and dinner. His excuse is to leg traffic die down and to get some food and possibly do more work. He's self employed and he makes hid own hours. So reslistically he doesn't need to be gone so long. The problem on my end he feels I nag him too much on wanting him home more and he feels I complain to much which keeps him out. So I stopped complaining and he just does it more. We do the date nights only if I initiate it and until the last few weeks are sex life was pretty regular, about 5 times a week. Now it's down to 2-3. I've confronted him with cheating and he's very open and sincere that he's not. Do then how do I get him home more? I love him to death and he's the best father but we all Want him home more. How do I get him to open up and want more of me? My self esteem us awful I feel like in not good enough anymore. Help!! Do you feel the same? Maybe we have insight into helping eachother.

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      rosalyn 7 years ago

      @ Gloria me and my hubby have been married for 15 years and we live by those 6 rules u stated .we r still in love with ea.other,the fire da passion dat was der in d beginnin still remains.Gloria keep on livin by those rules jus make dure u guys alternate so dat u can get yo day in alone 2.Great advice!

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      Courtney 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Congrats Gloria I hope you two live a long happy life together!

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      Gloria 7 years ago

      extress=stretch haha sorry

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      Gloria 7 years ago

      Wow! I think you have all the right to share your opinion trying to help others whether other people agree with it or not. I am getting married in 2 weeks and I can not extress how helpful it was to me! Thanks for taking the time and sharing your advices! It really helped me and I will be passing it along. I HAVE READ OTHER BOOKS AND OTHER PAGES FROM PSYCHOLOGISTS and all of them are pretty much like yours. SO YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT HAHA. The time that you have lived your life, your age, or time being married does not give you more rights to be correct or to share your opinion. I can have a better marriage and be more mature than my parents because time does not define happiness or maturity! Don't be rude people seriously... Who are you to say you know what is going to happen or to claim you have all the answers after being married for decades.... hello!! Anyway thanks thanks Courtney, I will share this with the FIANCÉ.

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      7 years ago

      well i've been married for 6 years know,we got a child together, but his not showing any interest for me, i've tried everything but nothing seems to work' his more interested in spending time with his friends and work colluges.says i'm boring anything i suggest to do as a couple is boring for him so i don't think he wants to be with me,what should i do?

    • Courtney_CollinsD profile image

      Courtney 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      I openly welcome any kind of comments or criticism on my hubs but one thing I don't tend to be fond of is rudeness. I understand at the time I wrote this I had only been married for one year, so one way to look at it was I was targeting newlyweds as opposed to the people that have been married for years now. Due to the fact that most people that have been married for 5 plus years aren't typically looking for advice because they pretty much know the basics. As far as your comments on if you make it that long, I see that as a personal attack on me. I didn't twist your arm to read this so share your opinion that you don't think I should have wrote it fine but telling me to Grow Up or saying rewrite it in ten years if you make it that long just weren't necessary.

      Thank you tflyty for being kind and I appriciate the comments you made.

      BTW, me and my husband are going on 3 years now and still haven't fallen out of the state we were in when we first got together, so I must be doing something right.

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      tflyty 8 years ago

      I have been married for 5 years and w/my husband for 8 years....I think "Pianist" comment was extremely rude....what Courtney said are on the right path for a new relationship...I am not an "Old timer" and no 5 years is not 30 but, I know this much, MOST young relationships lack the basic things Courtney stated....So, good luck Courtney...Pianist sounds like she/he are in a not so thrilling marrage to me....Congrats!!!

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      Pianist 8 years ago

      I am totally with you ctlivewire! The advice is just logical advice. Any high school kid could write that! I can't believe how arrogant this Courtney Collins is! Disgusting! Absolutely disgusting! How dare you, have the audacity to give anybody "marital advice", when you haven't even been married 1 year yet?!?!?!?! Grow up! Rewrite another article giving marital advice after you have been married at least 10 years (if you make it that long):)

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      ctlivewire 9 years ago

      I think the advice isn't to far off but being a year and half into a marriage isn't nearly enough time to explain to others what it truly takes to keep him interested.

      I'm 30 almost 31 and have been married for 12 years this August and the one thing I can tell you is your game plan for an exciting and vital marriage will grow more exstensive over time.