- Gender and Relationships»
Five Tips on How to Make Someone Feel Special
Would you like to step outside from yourself and give something to someone else that is really worthwhile -- the power for him or her to feel special? The focus here is not on dating, romances or marriages-- even though these five tips can be used in those relationships as well. The purpose of this advice is to give you five tips you can use to make someone feel special, whether that someone is a family member, relative, friend, or even a complete stranger.
The Meaning of Feeling Special
Before I share my five tips to make someone feel special, let's talk about what it means to feel special. When was the last time that you felt really special? Was it a surprise birthday party, or a party given especially for you? Was it unexpected recognition? Or was it simply someone acknowledging what you said either in agreement, or even disagreement? Or maybe you felt special simply because you knew you were being heard. There are numerous actions, deeds, talks, etc. that can be done to make someone feel special. Here are five tips out of the many.
1. Say their Name
Repeat someone's name to them. There is no other word that sounds like music to one's ear than the sound of one's own name, spoken by someone else. A word of caution here: Be sure you pronounce the person's name correctly, and do not over repeat saying his or her name when in conversation. Doing so, will make your attempt at familiarity appear forced and not genuine. Sprinkle his or her name throughout the conversation, remembering not to overdo it. Moderation is key.
Suppose you cannot remember someone's name? Whatever you do, do not try to guess and start calling him or her random names. You should introduce yourself first (even if the person already knows your name), and then extend your hand out to them. They should reciprocate in kind and volunteer their name to you. If not, hopefully someone else will mention their name or you will be able to find out their name some other way, other than asking them directly, especially if he or she is a friend, maybe from your past.
Also refrain from asking the question "Have we met?" -- especially if the person knows your name. You can simply say "Nice to see you again!" instead of implying that you have forgotten the person's name by asking this question.
2. Use Eye Contact
When talking to someone or even passing them on the street, in a hallway, mall, grocery store or other places, smile and give the person eye contact. The simple act of your eyes meeting theirs will send a signal that you value meeting or seeing them. Remember, do not stare at the other person as this can become uncomfortable, and rather unnerving. Use eye contact, but use it moderately. When you look (not stare) at someone in their eyes, you are acknowledging their presence and letting them know what they are saying is important to you.
Do you get upset if your name is mispronounced?
3. Listen Attentively
Listen to what the other person is saying. Do not continue with what you are doing and pretend you are listening. For example, if you are watching your favorite television show or youtube video, and your son or daughter approaches you with a drawing -- asking indirectly for your praise and approval -- do not wave them off with one hand and say, without looking at him or her "I like your drawing-- Mom (or Dad) is busy now. Come back when the commercial is on."
If you do the above, you have just put watching television or youtube videos ahead of establishing a bond and maybe a lasting memory for you and your loved ones. Remember, real life people, or people in your real life are more important than actors on television or personalities on youtube, who more than likely would not stop what they are doing to watch what is going on in your life. Be present in your own life.
"Be present in your own life."
4. Give Him or Her a Special Gift
When the occasion arrives for gift-giving, show that you took time and care to select just the right gift for that special someone. It seems that gift cards are everywhere, and it may be tempting to give a gift card and have the person buy his or her own gift. Or you may even decide to give money.
A more thoughtful gift would be one that shows that you know what the gift receiver's interests are. The exception would be if there is a specific request for gift cards. If you must give a gift card, add a thoughtful gift, along with the card. A gift that is handmade or hand crafted may have more value to someone instead of one that is store bought. Just be sure to keep the other person's interests in mind if you plan to give a handmade or a store bought gift. Remember, there are always other gifts you can give that are intangible, such as your time, performing special chores for someone, and other actions that do not require spending money.
When someone smiles at you, return their smile -- or even better, initiate the smile, either in passing, during conversations or other appropriate times. Be sure your smile is genuine and remember that too wide a smile can turn into a smirk. Simply smiling can brighter your day as well as exhibit that you are a pleasure to be around -- in addition to making someone else feel special. Who knows? Your smile could open the door to lasting friendships.