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- Romantic Intimacy
Five Ways to Rekindle Love In A Marriage - Rekindling the Old Flames
Some more useful tips
What happened to our marriage lives? Do wedding bells doom us to walk through life without passion, never again to feel that weak-at-the-knees, I-think-I’m-going-to-fly thrill? Absolutely not. Here is how, with a little energy and imagination, you can rekindle the old flames, and romantic love can be more fulfilling in marriage than ever.
1.) Break the Rules
Routine kills romance because we get bored very easily. That’s why most of us love surprises and adventures. One of the reasons why things were so hot between you and her when you first dated was because you didn't know what to expect. So, if your marriage life needs a spark, try something new. Break some habits. And remember that, the romantic moment is only possible when there is only two of you, so drop the children at a friend’s or grandparents’ house.
Here are some suggestions that will work for man or woman:
1. If you have never cooked her dinner, keep her busy out of the house and prepare a romantic dinner for her. Dress up, put on some perfume, and look good for her.
2. If you have never given her a massage, read a book on “how to massage” or go to massage centre to learn some skills. On a special night, give her a full-body massage.
3. Plan a surprise trip, pack and go for a sunset picnic.
4. Plan a surprise overnight trip to somewhere, after dropping the children at grandparents’ house. When you are there, take a walk on the beach, take a bath together, or do something both of you will enjoy.
5. If you have never written her a poem, write her one, and present it to her in the public.
2.) Emotionally connect to each other every day
If you are not talking much to each other or have not been spending time with each other, it becomes awkward to all of a sudden do something very intimate. To overcome such awkwardness, try to do those things that help you to connect emotionally. Bear in mind that a good sexual relationship comes out of an emotional connection. To start with, think of doing something small that will please her; think of something which you have never helped her with. Here are some examples :
- Help her to wash the dishes, throw the rubbish or any house chores
- Help her to prepare the kids for school
- Prepare or buy her favourite tea or coffee for her
- Buy dessert or chocolate for her
- Follow her to watch a romantic movie even if that bores you (for women, follow him to watch an action movie even if that’s not your preference)
3.) Make a Date
If life’s demands are forcing you and your partner to put your marriage last, schedule a time together with your partner. Plan a date and make it once a week or once in a fortnight. These dates can be powerful since you know you are both doing it to maintain your relationship.
To make it more fun and exciting, think of something creative that both of you like to do. To prepare for the date, both of you can list down 10 to 15 things that you and your partner would like to do. When you are dating and need ideas, you can always pull out this list for ideas to spend a good time together.
4.) Tell your mate what you like
Many marriage partners hesitate to tell their mate what they would like romantically, thinking, “If I have to tell, it’d be no fun and less romantic!” However, without the communication, each partner has to think hard to figure out what will please the other. If the partner didn’t guess it right, disappointment will surface. She is disappointed because he got her lilies while tulips are her favourite; he keeps choking down that same old cakes she makes, but after ten years of it, he is too embarrassed to let her know that he hates it.
Partners should express what they like, how they feel and more importantly, what they think the other one wants. If she says, “more intimacy”, he should ask what that means to her. Sometimes if you check out what the other partner wants, you will be surprised with the discovery; it could be lead to a great revelation!
5.) Create a Little Tension
A little tension can help to heighten the passion as you try to overcome the obstruction. Sometimes it can be fun to set up temporary obstacles. For example, if you have never been away for work, taking a working trip somewhere can create some tension between both of you. You will realize how much you miss each other company, and start to appreciate the other partner more.
Very often, rekindling the old flames does not need to be expensive or time-consuming, send him a short love note, text him a love note, send him a photo of good old time, can make a difference. Well, at least, it was a start, a good romantic start.
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