ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Five Ways to Rekindle Love In A Marriage - Rekindling the Old Flames

Updated on August 27, 2016

What happened to our marriage lives? Do wedding bells doom us to walk through life without passion, never again to feel that weak-at-the-knees, I-think-I’m-going-to-fly thrill? Absolutely not. Here is how, with a little energy and imagination, you can rekindle the old flames, and romantic love can be more fulfilling in marriage than ever.

1.) Break the Rules

Routine kills romance because we get bored very easily. That’s why most of us love surprises and adventures. One of the reasons why things were so hot between you and her when you first dated was because you didn't know what to expect. So, if your marriage life needs a spark, try something new. Break some habits. And remember that, the romantic moment is only possible when there is only two of you, so drop the children at a friend’s or grandparents’ house.

Here are some suggestions that will work for man or woman:

1. If you have never cooked her dinner, keep her busy out of the house and prepare a romantic dinner for her. Dress up, put on some perfume, and look good for her.

2. If you have never given her a massage, read a book on “how to massage” or go to massage centre to learn some skills. On a special night, give her a full-body massage.

3. Plan a surprise trip, pack and go for a sunset picnic.

4. Plan a surprise overnight trip to somewhere, after dropping the children at grandparents’ house. When you are there, take a walk on the beach, take a bath together, or do something both of you will enjoy.

5. If you have never written her a poem, write her one, and present it to her in the public.

2.) Emotionally connect to each other every day

If you are not talking much to each other or have not been spending time with each other, it becomes awkward to all of a sudden do something very intimate. To overcome such awkwardness, try to do those things that help you to connect emotionally. Bear in mind that a good sexual relationship comes out of an emotional connection. To start with, think of doing something small that will please her; think of something which you have never helped her with. Here are some examples :

- Help her to wash the dishes, throw the rubbish or any house chores

- Help her to prepare the kids for school

- Prepare or buy her favourite tea or coffee for her

- Buy dessert or chocolate for her

- Follow her to watch a romantic movie even if that bores you (for women, follow him to watch an action movie even if that’s not your preference)

3.) Make a Date

If life’s demands are forcing you and your partner to put your marriage last, schedule a time together with your partner. Plan a date and make it once a week or once in a fortnight. These dates can be powerful since you know you are both doing it to maintain your relationship.

To make it more fun and exciting, think of something creative that both of you like to do. To prepare for the date, both of you can list down 10 to 15 things that you and your partner would like to do. When you are dating and need ideas, you can always pull out this list for ideas to spend a good time together.

4.) Tell your mate what you like

Many marriage partners hesitate to tell their mate what they would like romantically, thinking, “If I have to tell, it’d be no fun and less romantic!” However, without the communication, each partner has to think hard to figure out what will please the other. If the partner didn’t guess it right, disappointment will surface. She is disappointed because he got her lilies while tulips are her favourite; he keeps choking down that same old cakes she makes, but after ten years of it, he is too embarrassed to let her know that he hates it.

Partners should express what they like, how they feel and more importantly, what they think the other one wants. If she says, “more intimacy”, he should ask what that means to her. Sometimes if you check out what the other partner wants, you will be surprised with the discovery; it could be lead to a great revelation!

5.) Create a Little Tension

A little tension can help to heighten the passion as you try to overcome the obstruction. Sometimes it can be fun to set up temporary obstacles. For example, if you have never been away for work, taking a working trip somewhere can create some tension between both of you. You will realize how much you miss each other company, and start to appreciate the other partner more.

Very often, rekindling the old flames does not need to be expensive or time-consuming, send him a short love note, text him a love note, send him a photo of good old time, can make a difference. Well, at least, it was a start, a good romantic start.

Related Articles


The text and all images on this page, unless otherwise indicated, are owned by Ingenira who hereby asserts her copyright on the material. Permission must be granted by the author in writing prior to copy or republish this article in print or online. However, please feel free to copy the first paragraph with a link back to this page. Thank you.

© Ingenira 2011


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      7 years ago

      My husband and i have been now thierlld when Ervin managed to deal with his investigations through the entire ideas he had while using the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to simply always be giving out helpful tips which other folks may have been making money from. We really fully grasp we have got the website owner to give thanks to for that. Those explanations you've made, the straightforward website menu, the friendships you will make it possible to foster it's got all astounding, and it's letting our son in addition to the family consider that the concept is awesome, which is certainly quite essential. Many thanks for everything!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I want to show appreciation to this witerr for rescuing me from this particular dilemma. Just after scouting throughout the internet and finding ideas that were not beneficial, I was thinking my life was well over. Existing without the answers to the difficulties you have sorted out through your entire guideline is a serious case, as well as ones which might have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I had not noticed your site. Your main skills and kindness in maneuvering every part was crucial. I'm not sure what I would've done if I had not come upon such a step like this. I can also now look forward to my future. Thanks for your time very much for your skilled and amazing help. I will not be reluctant to recommend your web sites to any person who desires tips on this subject.

    • Mcham Law profile image

      Mcham Law 

      9 years ago from Round Rock, Texas

      I would love to go on the picnic but 106 out there kinda slows that down. Maybe in a month or two

    • Ingenira profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      well, prasetio, hope to hear wedding bells from your side soon. :)

    • prasetio30 profile image


      9 years ago from malang-indonesia

      Nice tips from you. Very inspiring hub and I got much inspirations after reading this hub. It make my passion to get married always "on fire". Well done, my friend. Up and useful. Cheers...


    • Ingenira profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      you have just hinted, and I am sure you'll get some emails soon.... Ha !

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 

      9 years ago

      Oo-la-la!! What a plan! Now, I just need a guy. Ha!

    • Ingenira profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      why not plan a sunset picnic by the beach, Sally ? That'd be reasonably "hot".... Ha !

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 

      9 years ago

      Great ideas! It is too hot for a picnic now, but I think that would be so romantic. Especially if I didn't have to plan/pack it. Ha!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)