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Five ways to end a relationship

Updated on January 8, 2012

Has the sun set on your relationship?

Its probably the last thing on your mind. Having to deal with a break up, for the purpose of this article, marriage is excluded. Marriage is sacred and must be entered into with sober judgement and clarity to make it work. Will bring soon the best person to marry and how to know the one.

Most relationships are over before they even start. Statistically, most relationships are based on 'feelings' . Making an intimate connection based on feelings, then later to realize I do not want to go any further with this, with little thought of how this affects both parties. Entering into a relationship without any plan is already a mistake. This is my observation, that one of the most important areas of our lives is easily neglected. For ladies, not treating your heart well is a recipe for dead end relationships. For the guys lack of honest communication is only delayed agony. Dealing with issues now is far better and cost effective dare i say in the long run.

In the book He's just not that into you, one of the contributors (a guy by the way) mentions let the man do the initial work of asking a lady out. Let him work for you. When a man wants you, let him work out how he is going to ask you out on a date. Ladies, nothing wrong with you, if you play it cool, and mysterious, its more interesting, fun and makes you rare.

I wrote on The Love of my life, finding lasting love, and explored some issues on the gender divide. Your ability to determine what you want out of a relationship will save you valuable time, weeding out time wasters. Granted you may need the experience of multiple dates, but think of all the wasted time with someone who had no plans for the future that included you.

You might be in that situation now, you have known for sometime this relationship is not going anywhere, but you've been telling yourself we have a few good things that work out at the moment. Listen honey, time wasted is time REALLY gone. That time is for spending for someone who will appreciate you and respect you for who you are.

First Step to ending a relationship.

Evaluate what you want from life. If a satisfying relationship is important to you but your partner does not have the slightest inclination to even discuss plans together for the future, time to cut your losses. In this instance, your mind must rule your emotions of regret, or false hope. Find a good time to discuss future plans. if your partner seems evasive, that's your clue.

I cannot overemphasize, your partner is totally responsible for their behavior and their decisions. You should be the same. Its is not your fault when someone reacts badly to you on a constant basis, that creates a cycle of constant arguments. Relationships are give and take.

2.Work on you, getting stronger and independent of your partner. Codependency creates cycles of pain, and a feeling of being trapped. Go away for a weekend, to clear your head, as you recognize this last argument is one too many. Reconnect with friends to remember how great it is to have a supportive network of friends, should you have walked away and spent all your time on the new relationship.

3. Prepare for the worst scenario when you know you have discussed options to improve the relationship, especially your part, which might actually be the cause of trouble in the relationship. Remember anything you do not deal with really honestly in your relationship, will follow you into the next relationship. If you remain selfish unwilling to change, you can guarantee you will at one point or another get the same treatment from someone else. So do your part now, work on you and work on improving the relationship.

4. Love has no age barrier. Never get trapped into thinking this is the best i will ever get, or the other extreme, taking for granted the current relationship. Prepare for a great relationship as you deserve way better treatment. Exercise to get your body in great physical shape, drink lots of water to flush toxins in your body. Work out the costs of living apart from your partner, explore income streams to support you, if that is a challenge at the moment. Then let your partner know, calmly discussing it in the safety of a public place, that you are moving on.

5. Give yourself space to reflect on how you can make better choices in partners. Reflect on becoming a stronger person. Commit to your gifts and talents, be an active supporter of good community causes. Before you know it,a year will have gone, and you have not been overly concerned with relationships, but in improving and loving your life, for you can exist independently and happily without being in a relationship.

Choose your partner from a place of great strength, someone you do not really need to be with, but you choose them for their companionship by choice not manipulation even in any subtle form.

Its your life, its your heart, take good care of all that you are.


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    • Daniels24 profile image

      Meg 5 years ago from UK

      Thankyou for your feedback RJay, havent been on here for ages, and time to catch up, glad you found it useful

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 6 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      Ahhhh soooo sad! You have the perfect picture to set this up and it is gorgeous. I enjoyed this very much. You have this laid out beautifully and it is easy to understand. Keep up the great HUBS. I must give this an “Up ONE and Useful.” I'm now your fan! RJ

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