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Flag the Train: The Bridge is Out
Train and BridgesClick thumbnail to view full-size
Flag the Train: The Bridge is Out!
"What woman? I didn't see her. I was concentrating." This is the answer I received from my husband, one night, when I asked him if he had noticed a woman. A woman who was doing her best to seduce him from the dance floor, while he played his bass on stage. Of course a moment later, when one of his male friends asked him the same question, his memory served him well.
"Which woman? You mean the one in the red dress?" Fortunately for him I find this a bit humorous, which brings me to the question: "Can a man look at an attractive woman without having sexual thoughts?"
Scott Russell Sanders wrote in his essay, Looking at Women.
"Even as a bashful eleven year-old I knew the word sex, of course, and I could paste that name across my image of that tantalizing girl." Later he goes on to say,
"Nothing in men is more machine-like than the flipping of sexual switches."
He also compares the penis with a railroad crossing signal.
". . . which stirs into life at intervals to announce, 'Here comes a train.'" He makes it sound as if it's automatic, that men have no control. As a woman I wonder if this is true.
I suppose men can't help being attracted but are they capable of controlling their reactions to their "urges". I like the way William Carlos Williams explains it,
"I think that from that arises the drive which empowers us all. Given that drive, a man does with it what his mind directs."
Some men direct it well. Authors of poetry have written beautiful odes by directing passion. Skyscrapers have been erected and businesses have been built because the drive was directed. I know of at least one musician who chose to excel in music to show women what he was capable of.
Others, and I say a good majority of them, (unfortunately), have no idea of how to direct it. This I see every day in the way men talk and in the way they act. The comments men make such as:
"Look at the headlights on that one." or the way they tend to stare at a woman's chest when conversing with her. These things lead women to believe that a man has only one thing on his mind. Is this true? Do men think of other things?
I suppose they do. Out of curiosity I conducted an informal survey asking both sexes if they thought a man could look at an attractive woman without having a sexual thought. All but one of the women asked, responded negatively. Apparently, they don't believe a man can do that. All of the men on the other hand, (with sheepish grins), replied, "Yes, they can." One of the men used the phrase, "attractive objects", to describe women. The same women that he claims he looks at without having sexual thoughts.
Another man compared women with mountains or cars, claiming that he simply appreciates their natural beauty or their design. Knowing how men like to conquer things leaves me wondering if he might be thinking of climbing that mountain at the same time.
So men, are you lying to yourselves or have you been misleading women? Many women agreed with what I said before. They feel that men need to learn how to direct their drive. Women like to feel like beautiful beings inside a beautiful package. They don't want to be thought of as toys or objects inside exquisite wrapping paper, there only to be torn off in a flurry.
If men can look at an attractive woman without having a sexual thought then they need to prove it. They need to change strategies and direct their passion in positive ways. We are human beings. We are not things. We do not need or want to be conquered. If you want to conquer something go climb a mountain. if you want to impress women build us a bridge.
© copyright 2010
Can a man look at an attractive woman without having a sexual thought?
I thought this might be a little fun to play around with. To see what kind of comments we can get. I believe a lot of people feel different than this. Let's hear from you!!! :)