- Gender and Relationships
Fly Girls-Confident Boys pt. II
Now that we've covered the importance of your introduction, ie: self-confidence, assurance and esteem, we definately have to cover how to keep and maintain your image or reputation.
With your new found confidence, will undoubtedly come on-lookers and observers from both inside and out of your inner circle of friends and acquaintances. The first law applies for each person, both with and without a high level of self-esteem, "be aware that there will be 'UP' and 'Down' days." Disregarding this principal could leave you totally caught off guard and in a depressive slump if you aren't prepared to weather the storm. However, an effective counter-action is always believing "I'm special, God has a plan for me," or just knowing that despite your down days, no one or nothing can spoil your mood. Smile when someone disprespects you, chuckle when someone 'thinks' they are better than you, work harder than the popular guy/girl to build your own reputation and BELIEVE w/o a doubt that you are the 'ring of diamonds' while he or she is just a gold band. Be cocky, be assertive, but be people-friendly, humble and good natured. There's nothing worse than a snobby personality, it never maintains a high position in the long run.
It's the 'quiet confidence' mindset over the loud and bostrous egotistical way of thinking. Classic example, rapper Jay-Z's 'quiet confidence' over Kanye West's egotistical way of thinking. No one likes a snob, attract an audience of your own, and those that followed the snobbish acts of your competitor will naturally flock to you.
Reputation: Know your Lane
Who are you?
Depending on your personality and company you keep, your image is only comparible to those whom you choose to be your affiliates.
When I was young, I ran with hoodlums and hustlers, our reputation was impecable but each of us had a position within the group. These 'positions' are unwritten in a sense that they are established mostly by the perception you give off to others. Behind closed doors, the popular guy/girl may be the pushover or pawn, but amongst others their position is solidified, at least until another's ego takes front line.
There was five of us who ran together, and if there were a numbered place I'd have to put myself in, it would be dead center, number three. Let's use make up names with the other 4, both 'toine' and 'ace' were fighters and commanded respect from accross the schoolyard and constantly re-established themeselves amongst the group so that there was no misunderstanding. On the other hand, 'B' and 'Prince' were the pretty boys, light skinned, decent clothes and the attention of almost every girl in school.
In the middle however, I stood, bucktooth but with hazel eyes and caramel skin, not much of a ladie's man but a damn good fighter. I hated my position because in my eyes, I was a much better fighter than both 'toine' and 'ace' and if it were not for my teeth and ragged clothing I would be more handsome than 'B' and 'Prince.' I was popular amongst the neighborhood grown-up hustlers, and a remark from one of them would change my perception of things in the long run. I will never forget after the five of us left the alley after playing basketball on our makeshift milk crate hoop, the most popular of all the hustlers in the neighborhood, (rest in peace) stopped me and said, "you're gonna be a rapper! Kick a rhyme 'M.C.Ron love!" That stuck with me from that day and I felt obligated to live up to that name, 'M.C. Ron love.'
As I grew older the five of us drifted apart and went our seperate ways, however the words of my idol stuck with me and despite the years of self-degredation and belief that I'd amount to nothing, I honestly believed that one day people would see me as the 'top notch' guy. I worked hard on my routine in high school and became 'the little Nas' to those who witnessed me freestyling at lunch with my 'team.' Shortly after, I got braces and my teeth problems were solved. Step one, a success!
After I graduated high school I kept my pretty boy-rap image and decided I had to get my gear or clothing situated to fit my 'fly boy' nature. I became the life of parties in the military and the topic of discussion amongst the pretty light skinned wavy haired chics. Everywhere I went females knew of me or about me, my confidence had grown, I had my Honda and latest designer clothes. My attitude had changed as well, to be more specific, I went from the hood and my slow, side to side bop, head swaying back and forth to my upright 'prince of the city (as I liked to call it) swaggar.
With that change came a new class of friends and interested women, yes, women now. I learned to talk out loud, look people straight in the eyes and know that if one woman said no, pleeease, another was bound to take my bait. It's the principle of 'up' and 'down' days, and not letting a rejection dampen your spirit.
It's simple, know who you are and know your position. Late rap artist Tupac Shakur said it best, "if Mike Tyson knows he might get knocked out in a fight, he not gon' step in the ring!-I'm here to knock m--f's out!"