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For The Negative And Ill-tempered - Why Outward Resentment Is A Sign Of Internal Emotional Strife
The Pains Caused by Negative People
We meet them in the street, on the bus or at school. They may exist at the workplace and even, for some unfortunate few, in our homes. We feel like they suck the life out of us. Everything they do and say detracts from our positivity, our joy and our general good vibe. When we are high they make us feel low. When we are low they make us feel even lower. The more we give, the more they take. They can range from being mildly annoying to being the wind that extinguishes our fire. They suck our vitality away like a leech that cannot be removed. Truly, these negative people may have us at our wit's end.
Beneath the Harsh Exterior
We see them as the agents of our anguish. Too caught up in our own frustration, true to human nature we forget that these agents are, too, in fact, human. In our minds, we view negative people as monsters that destroy and spread suffering and, in turn, deservingly should experience pain and heartache themselves. We may snap at them, curse them, hit them and do every little thing we can to get back at them in order to honour the mantra of an eye for an eye. And while indeed such action may make us feel better about our situation, they are only temporary solutions to our headache, but not to the problem itself. Furthermore, such action seldom improves the situation and really, if anything, only exacerbates its severity. If we were to only take a moment to not just look, but to perceive the humanity in our oppressors, we might be able to take better action. We should cast the shade of emotion from over our eyes and look deeply into the true nature of negative people.
An Imperfect World
Casting our eyes away from the immediate issue, we must accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world. A line or bar will never be perfectly straight, just as the earth is an imperfect sphere, just was both your hands are not perfectly similar to each other. It is an existential problem, one from which we cannot escape due to the confines of earthly living and thus we can only accept and learn to live with the fact.
In the same way that no physical object is perfect in its nature, no human being is perfect in his/her character. We must accept these flaws in people. In doing so, we accept the flaws in our own nature, as we too are human. By understanding these concepts, we come to also understand the cause that creates the effect. These concepts allow us to see why negative people, are, in fact, negative.
The Twisted Indentity
It is a fact that everyone has flaws. Some persons may disregard, some accept and others greatly abhor their own flaws. However, to take even one of any of those three actions mentioned, one must first be aware of one's flaws. And one can only be aware of one's flaws if one knows oneself. Knowing oneself is an act that takes great effort and patience, and is really a life-long process. Nevertheless, knowing oneself gives control of oneself. This knowledge brings power, which itself brings control, which, in turn, gives freedom.
But not to digress, one must know oneself to know one's flaws. Now think carefully about this. If one truly knows oneself, and loves oneself and accepts oneself and is at peace with oneself in spite of knowing one's own flaws, how much more love and acceptance could one have for another person? Regardless of how much or little flaws one may have, knowing the full depth of one's own flaws and accepting oneself in spite of them, truly, how much more tolerance can such a person have for another, the depth of whose flaws one does not fully know.
Now, conversely, if a person does not know himself/herself well, and so is not aware of his/her own flaws, he/she may essentially see himself/herself as faultless. So that if a flaw in this person is made aware of him/her there is some irritable reaction, as they mental state tries to address the contradiction between what is said and what he/she believes, that he/she is spotless and that he/she is not. And how much more for another person whose flaws this person sees, against the backdrop of his/her own pure self, everything and everyone else is smeared with dirt, oil, and grease.
The Humanity In the Inhumanity Of Negative People
We see now why negative people are the way they are. There is a lack of understanding of their own selves. A missing piece that creates confusion, misunderstanding and wrongful thinking. We can now see that negative people miss the comprehension of themselves, and in turn, miscomprehend others. But we too are flawed in thinking that these negative people are monsters and should be treated as such. The lack of self-understanding of negative people and the lack of perception by the people affected by the negative people are just two more flaws to add to the many in human nature. Instead now we should treat negative people, not with disdain, but perhaps with what they really need, with maybe some pity and with a lot more love. They should be treated not like animals, but in accordance with their nature, that is, like a human.
Another Take On Experiences and Dealing With Negative People
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