For Women: Relationship Questions Answered
Hubpages questions answered by 'StricktlyDating' regarding relationships, dating and understanding men:
- How to understand men?
Each man is different, you really can't 'generalise' - So the best way to understand him, is to communicate more with him, because the way he feels/thinks and what he wants is not necessarily what all men feel/think/want.
- As for relationships....when do you know that you have had enough?
Usually there's a combination of a few things that just makes you realise that you've had enough. When you realise it, you almost feel half relieved about it. It's usually to do with some of the following:
* You can't take the way you've been living.
* You're worn out from being unhappy.
* You start to believe what you're friends/family have said all along.
* You can see a different life for yourself.
* Or the other person has finally gone too far (You've waited until they did something major before you decide to leave).
* You realise the extent of emotional or physical abuse.
- What would you do if you met a man, called him on Saturday, and he called that night? A week has passed and he hasn't called?
Since you only just met him the one time, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You don't know him well enough to guess what his reason for not calling you is - but I wouldn't call him again - he might not be single - he could be involved with someone else. If you liked him it would be natural to feel a little disappointed though.
Should I give up on a relationship? I have been dating a man for 3 months. When we started out, he called me a lot, texted me, left messages on my Facebook, paid attention to me. Now, I have to send a text back in order to usually get one in return, he does not say I love you first, when I am at his house, there is really not much conversation. Do I give up or give him his space?
Give him space or give up, it's up to you. Usually by 3 months into a relationship you start to see someones true colours and how the relationship is going to be. He initially paid you a lot of attention and has now backed off. It could be because he's in a relationship with you and feels he no longer has to 'chace' you and leave you messages etc, or maybe you're not such a great match if you have little to talk about and he's not romancing you the way you'd like.
- How do you contend with jealousy (the insecure, overbearing kind)?
On your weak days, just try your best to keep your jealousy private - take some alone time to sort through your feelings, and do whatever you need to do to work through those feelings - cry, scream or write down your feelings, take a relaxing bath etc. Stay away from your mobile phone and texting in the heat of the moment, because you don't want to regret anything you say or do once those jealous feelings have subsided. And remember to be kind to your self-confidence - Tell yourself positive thoughts such as "I am beautiful and wonderful, and I really have nothing to be jealous about".
- Is it OK to have a friend with fringe benefits after you been with him for years?
You should just do whatever you feel comfortable with. If you were in a serious relationship with them previously, you may not be quite ready to give up the sexual intimacy just yet...But be careful because this kind of relationship can lead to heartbreak when one of the person getting the 'benefits' still has strong feelings involved, it can end in more tears (it's not a clean breakup).
- Why does my husband refuse to do anything around the house? (He doesn't help at all around the house and spends his days sitting playing Playstation).
It sounds like he could be depressed. He has no job and is not doing any work around the house, spending his days sitting on the couch playing Playstation. It might help to encourage him to do some things for you while you're at work - for example by writing him a shopping list (to get him out of the house) and list of other things you need done. You could even make the list look like a little love note. Try to get him an appointment at some Employment Agencies so he has his name down for at least some casual work. If all fails, he might see the seriousness of his behaviour if you insist he see a Doctor or Counsellor regarding his possible depression symptoms. Also try to communicate with him about your current circumstances, because even though it might be tough with him being without work at the moment, he could look at the situation in a positive way such as if you could look at it as a good opportunity in time for him to get some odd jobs done that he might not have the chance to do if he was working full time.
- Does your spouse have the right to look through your pockets when you're sleeping?
It's ok only if they're genuinely looking for something - Have they misplaced their keys or concert tickets... Otherwise it's just sneeky! And in that case it could be seen as 'controlling' type of behaviour...Like they're looking for some sort of evidence. They could have 'trust' issues
- How long is too long to wait for someone you love to change?
I once waited years for someone I loved to grow up and change. He never did, and when I'd had enough, our relationship sadly ended. It's interesting to me because it was only after our breakup that he seemed to get himself together, become more mature, more open, just a better person all-round. It was about a year later that I saw him like this. He had a new girl in his life too... I was left wondering, why couldn't he have been like that when we were together!
- What's your take on dating someone who is already in a relationship?
The person in the relationship is likely to be a game player if they are looking to date outside of their relationship. It's a bad idea to get involved with them, unless they end their relationship with the other person first.
- I have a boyfriend but he wont go near me when we go somewhere.
If he's not willing to appear in public with you as a couple it means - for whatever reason - he's trying to keep your relationship a secret. This is something which could affect your self esteem. You really need to talk to him about why he's doing this to you.
- Why do guys cheat on their girlfriends?
Broadly speaking, it's mostly because they're not yet married, they are still keeping their options opened.
- Why do people cheat when they are in a relationship? How should you react?
Sometimes there's no other reason other than that they think they can get away with it at the time, so when an opportunity presents itself they'll take it.
Sometimes because they are genuinely having difficulty being in their relationship, but haven't yet got the courage to leave.
Sometimes, because they're not yet married - they want to keep their options opened.
Sometimes because they've caught up with someone they used to love - 'sex with the ex' kind of situation.
How you should react will depend on what kind of relationship you're in, and whether you're married, have children or are living together. As well as if you feel they may do it again. In any case you will feel hurt and you'll have to decide whether you want to continue the relationship with the 'cheater'.
- How do I know if he's cheating on me?
Usually go with your 'womans intuition' you shouldn't need to search out for 'concrete evidence' you can just usually sense it. Try to talk to him about it.
- Cute pet names to call your significant other?
I always put two words together to make a pet name eg:
Her to Him: Hot-stuff, Sexy-boy, Stud-muffin, Sexy-Prince...
- Why do guys flirt with other women even if committed in a serious relationship?
Flirting itself is just being friendly with the opposite sex, it's not necessarily a problem (providing it's not serious dirty talk). I've noticed some men flirt more when they're in a committed relationship, it's almost like because they're in a happy relationship it makes them confident enough to enter into conversations with woman that they might not have had when they were single, they're not trying to 'pick up' so they are more relaxed with the opposite sex.
- What do you do when you give a man everything and he still cheats?
What do you do? You leave him! It's not worth your dignity... When you've given him your everything and he still can't commit to your relationship, it means you're in the relationship deeper than what he is. So while you've been there giving him your everything, he's kept one foot out of the door. He is spending intimate times with you, and he is spending intimate times with other woman. Keep this picture in your mind to try to stop yourself from continuing to try to GIVE to him. He can't commit to you of his own free will, so he doesn't deserve your 'everything' right now.
- A married man says he's not happy at home and he gets involved with someone, he happens to fall in love.
Saying 'he's not happy at home' has to be the most common excuse married men use for cheating. He may be very happy at home, and just wanting an affair, he may fall in love and still be very happy at home with his wife too. Either way, he's married and he got involved with another woman, that makes him the bad guy.
- How many chances do you think you should give the one you love before you decide it's finally over?
When you finally have enough, you'll just decide it's over. It doesn't matter about how many chances you give it, it just matters that when you've had enough you will find the courage to walk away.
- How do I stop repeating myself in an argument and being naggy to my significant other?
Say what you need to say, listen to his response, then leave the room for a little while. Just duck into the bathroom for a few minutes if you need to, to pull your thoughts together. You'll soon get a different response from him during your arguments when you do this.
- The ex-boyfriend has now become friends with your good girlfriend. Is it possible to be friends?
In this situation most women in your situation would feel awful! Here's some suggestions about what you could do. Talk to your girlfriend about it, when it's just the two of you, be open about it and say that you don't want to seem jealous, but since you're trying to get over him, it makes you feel awkward at the moment because it seems like she's becoming good friends with him since you broke up. If she's a true friend, she'll listen and respect your feelings, as she might not even be aware that she's appearing this way to you, she may even think you've long gotten over him. So long as you are open and honest about it, it should go over okay (you don't want to appear like you're picking on her). If you are still in contact with your ex, you could also say something similar to him. Other than that what you're already doing by trying to distance yourself from both of them sounds like a good idea at this stage, until your feelings for your ex have more time to resolve.
- The guy I'm engaged to tells me he loves me and all but he is confused and don't know if he wants to...
It's probably not so unusual for a man (or woman) to feel confused after making a big commitment. Big commitments can be scary even when we know we've made the right choice (ie: getting engaged). You've asked how can I get him to stay with me. Firstly, remember that he's already committed to you, above all others, so try not to freak out too much, and just express your feelings honestly when you're feeling calm and he is too. You can't force someone to stay with you because you would only end up both being unhappy, the engagement is about the love between the two of you, you need to remind him how happy he makes you and how much it means to you, and how frightened you feel when he feels confused and you don't. Good communication now will hopefully lead to good communication in the future.
- I want to be in a healthy relationship, is being open too early a bad thing?
In the beginning it's good to give guys 'just a peek' of your personality. As you don't know someone well from the start they haven't shown that they are truly worthy of knowing all the wonderful things about you. Let them learn along the way, and let them grow the desire to want to know more about you. But at first, you don't need to show all of yourself upfront, and it doesn't mean you wont form a 'healthy relationship' you just don't need to know everything or share everything from the beginning, and even if you did, it still takes time to really get to know someone.
- How do I get my ex-boyfriend to trust me again? My boyfriend broke up with me because he said I attacked him. I thought we were merely kidding around but I guess I took it too far. He's coming over Saturday to talk.
It looks like he's giving a positive sign, as he's coming over to talk to you. This is your opportunity to start to regain his trust. He seems a little freaked out. Us girls are more emotional than boys at times, and also sometimes our hormones creep in. If you think you may have offended him, it's best to be honest with him and say sorry and tell him that it's really important for you to regain his trust, this could be a positive turning point in your relationship, as if you can get through this it may make your relationship stronger. Being mature and honest and open, as well as having a positive outlook about it should help when he comes over to talk to you.
- How can I get back the man I love?
Tell him how much you love him and your reasons for wanting a fresh start, with the promise to be honest and open with him in the future. After this, give him a little time to think about what you said (don't pester him about it), and he may soon come around.
- I broke up with my boyfriend 2 1/2 weeks ago. I want to get him back. How can I get him to come back?
In my experience, so long as you haven't gone/don't go too overboard about the break up, if he was into you, he'll usually come back around, dating can be so frustrating, you were right to stand up and say he wasn't making enough time for you, if you let him think about what you said you never know in a few weeks he might come back around. If he's not replying, he just might not know what to do at the moment, and you need to give him a little space to decide.
Read more about getting him back here: http://hubpages.com/hub/So-You-Want-Your-Boyfriend-Back-Do-This-One-Thing-And-Hell-Come-Back
My ex boyfriend is still love me but he afraid to be with me again what should I do?
There's nothing you need to do. He might still love you but it doesn't mean he wants to get back together (It sounds like he has doubts about it). If he wants to get back together he will get over his fears himself. You can only be honest with him about your feelings too, but you can't talk him into it, it's something he has to decide for himself.
If your boyfriend still has pictures of his ex hanging on his wall, what would you do?
I can't emagine snuggling up to my boyfriend on his lounge and looking up to see photo's of him with his ex. So, if he hadn't thought to take them down I'd ask him to do it immediately!
me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months and recently things were a little bit up and down but we both still loved each other but in the end he split up with me cos he thought he kept hurting me , which he didn't. now he is confusing me cos we know we both still love each other (he has told me he does) but yet sometimes he will be completely off with me and treat me like i suddenly mean nothing to him, im really confused, all i know is that we would both be better off back together again if we still love each other. any idea what i should do ?
Tell him you want to get back together and that it hurts you and confuses you too much to spend any time with him when you are not a couple. Then leave him alone until he decides what he wants to do.
More Dating Advice From StricktlyDating:
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- How To End A Long Term Relationship
- How To Avoid Being Rejected
- So You Want Your Boyfriend Back? Do This One Thing!
- If He's Dumped You, Delete Him From Your Facebook Friends
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