For the Men
Advice for the confused, flustered and just plain flabbergasted
Why is it that men and women can't just say what they mean when it comes to starting up a relationship? Is it the allure of mystery and withheld information? Are we really so very different?
Certainly scads of books, articles, love songs, poems and various other literary ponderings have focused on the how to of understanding one another. We google such earth-quaking questions as: should I call him on Thursday? or, if she doesn't want to see me but she texted me, should I text back? in the hopes that someone else out there either a) has the answer or b) can validate our insanity. (here's a tip, putting a google search in quotes treats it like a phrase)
But, really, aren't we all unique? No two of us the same? Just try reading profiles on an online dating site and these variables become all too apparent. After all, does any one really want to be just like everyone else?
One woman's list
In the interest of letting it all hang out (face it, ladies, we get to a certain point and we can't tuck it back in), this is one woman's point of view on what makes things "work" for women in regard to men.
It has taken years to honestly assess the truly important things when it comes to getting past the first date. As someone who has had a lot of experience with failed relationships, I can see the need for putting it all out in the open.
Sure, we don't want to give all of our secrets away right from the beginning. Men like the chase and women, well...we do - we like the bad boy (but you have to be good, too!). How many times have you heard a friend say they "give up." They don't understand men/women. True, maybe we spend most of our time bumping into the wrong people. Chances are we have to in order to meet the right one. And, if they are right, I guess they won't need our list after all.
What Women Want
- We totally care if you talk to other women.
- We pretend to not care if you're friends with other women (but, oh, yes, we do), and sometimes we even care if you are friends with other men.
- Please understand that the only way we will ever believe that you think we are beautiful is if you have it tattooed on your something or other.
- If we say you are wrong, don't ever stop trying to convince us you are right (then we really won't believe you).
- The sexiest thing about a guy is, well, I can't really say it here, now can I?
- Hold the door open!
- Pay for us!
- We promise, we won't feel bad!
- We don't expect it, we just really, really, like it.
- We'll do more than say thank you
- Kiss us.
- Keep on kissing us even after you marry us!
- Sometimes it would be good if you changed your clothes once in a while before you came to pick us up.
- For most of us, a man is most handsome when he's in his boxers...
- Please let us know that you are a sarcastic person in general. (the earlier we are informed of this, the better)
- Understand, we have limited control over certain parts of our brain chemistry (and even if we did, we wouldn't admit to it).
- We really don't like talking about cars - ok?
- If you don't mention Angelina Jolie or Catherine Zeta Jones ever again, that'd be fine with us.
- If you do, we might have to smoosh you.
- Guys, let me tell you, if your girl is really into you, she'll treat you like a king (or at the very least, a marine)...with all the perks of the job. But, don't make her wait too long to know you care, or she will probably move on.
- We want...
Someone who will make us breakfast.
Someone who will cuddle even when they don't want to.
Someone we can call anytime day or night, no matter what the reason.
Someone who will love us, just love us...that is right.
(of course, just one girl's point of view)
Ladies: Would you like to see a list from the men's point of view?
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So, come on men! Let us ladies know what is important to you. What do we do that you can't live without...or with?