Forgive Those Who Trespass
We’ve all heard the saying, “forgive and forget” but that is sometimes easier said than done. It’s the forgetting part I had a problem with until I thought about just what that part of the saying really means.
When we fixate on what the person did to us and let that be the focus of our attention it eats away at us like an ulcer. The person we hold the grudge against usually doesn’t place as much importance on it and in many cases doesn’t even think about it. Our hate is not hurting them it only affects us. When we dwell on the evils that have been acted upon us we have trouble focusing on daily life.
Don’t let the person who did you wrong live rent-free in your mind.
You’ve also heard the saying, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” It is divine to not hold a grudge. It is divine to not let those negative thoughts hold you hostage.
The forgetting part is “letting go.” Yes, you will on occasion recall and think about the past but we have to work on putting it out of our mind as quickly as it appears. Don’t let it take precedence over other more positive things that could be in our subconscious.
When we forgive we are not condoning the other person's behavior we are simply not allowing them to control our lives and minds.
Our thoughts, mood and emotions are what make us who we are. You’ve met bitter, angry people who are no fun to be around. They only dwell on the negative side of life and constantly complain about every little thing. That is the cause of negative thinking. Allowing bad thoughts to live in our mind will turn us into a curmudgeon and gives us frown wrinkles.
When past wrongs play back in your mind recall another happy period or think about someone you love and who brings happiness in your life. Picture pleasant things like flowers, waterfalls or beautiful music. Replacing the good with the bad will eventually reprogram your mind to do this automatically and eventually those thoughts will be a wisp in the wind so fleeting they lose energy and will surface less and less.
Keep a happy book or file on your computer filled with pictures of things that make you smile. Put positive quotes in your log. Listen to upbeat, soothing or cheerful music when you feel down. Don’t allow your mood to stay in a slump too long or it becomes habit. Behavior and thoughts can be reprogrammed just like a computer. The more we do something the more it becomes commonplace and a part of us.
For some people group therapy and counseling helps to dispel past wrongs but for others simply putting it out of our mind is the best medicine. Rehashing and reliving the past isn’t always a good thing. Letting bygones be bygones, moving forward to a more positive life and making sure the past isn’t repeated is for some of us the better way to go.
Medication can work for a while but all it does is cover the situation and eventually we still have to deal with the pain and learn to live our life on our own two feet. The side effects of drugs can sometimes be worse than the problem it is supposed to cure so be sure and educate yourself before taking anything.