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Four Bizarre, Unusual Ways to Get Your Fiance Back—I Guarantee It

Updated on August 29, 2019
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

The True Definition of Sadness

(for guys) is to watch the girl of their dreams to walk away for some simple misunderstanding that helped to break-up this 12-year long relationship, and what is even sadder is that neither party know for sure which one caused the tragedy. Get set for a difficult mystery.

First, let’s dissect this once-wonderful relationship. Both male and female have compatible Horoscope birth signs. Their interests, although varied, are always fun to attend and look forward to spending an entire weekend where one of their interests is going to take place. They talk, they laugh, they kiss such a long, passionate kiss that onlookers think that they are trying to set a record for Guinness Book of World Records (current printing), and to top if off, the male, who is sometimes called,”Mr. Romance,” by his girlfriend, gets her to take an evening ride in a fashionable Handsome Cab, like those in New York City . . .so who could ask for more? These two people are beyond happy. They are setting new records for telling each other how much they love each other. Life for these two is good.

The "Bandaged Hand Act," can help the worst-depressed man with a broken heart.
The "Bandaged Hand Act," can help the worst-depressed man with a broken heart. | Source

Then, Like a Hungry

eagle, hungry for the rabbit she is chasing for her dinner, one misspoken phrase, although not profane or ugly, enters the girl’s ears and she lets off like a Kentucky Musket—huffing at her fiance, rolling her eyes, stamping her foot, and placing her hands on her hips. This gal is angry. So angry that she does not bat an eye for 11 minutes. Her fiance stands stunned by something that he did say, but somehow his “sweet girl” did not hear it right, so the fight is on.

Now she glares a hole in him. He could swear in a court of law that he saw white smoke belch from her ears. So again, let’s take another trip to listen what the male said as he stumbled on his words causing his fiance to hear his phrase, but not how he meant it. Let’s look at the phrase and see if we can make heads or tails about it.

The two are strolling down a quiet city sidewalk headed for their favorite restaurant to dine after a long, exciting day.

The girl says: “Uhh, when we are married, can my mother come and live with us?”

The boy says: “Sure she can. She does get so COLD!”

The girl is so angry and replies: “Just what do you mean, she is SO OLD? How low can you go, my former fiance?”

The boy now scared says: “But huneee, I never said OLD, but COLD . . .COLD. Don’t be like that!”

And from there the verbal onslaught is on. The girl, now so angry that she is seeing two of everything and the young man’s face is pale with fear as he walks his “former” fiance prance away from him and his life. What a waste. Isn’t this just like what happens each day in Real Life?

But it Doesn’t Have

to be that way. The boy and girl are made for each other. Even I agree and I am not a relationship expert. Just that one misunderstanding is all it took and no amount of apologizing by the young man could make his former fiance come back and make-up, but do not worry. I have some needed-help. Here are Four Bizarre,Unusual Ways to Get Your Fiance Back—I Guarantee it.

Before I begin, please keep in mind that the girl and guy are regular folks and do not have anything unusual to fall back on. Both folks are creatures of habit. But when these four highly-unusual tips that I have to share with you, they will work alright. And if you are having “girl trouble,” these tips will get her back to you along with the poor guy that appeared in this peace.

Dress-up like Cuban heart-throb and sing for your girlfriend.
Dress-up like Cuban heart-throb and sing for your girlfriend. | Source

Guys, You Might Want to Copy These "Love Tips":

  • Dress-up and Look as Closely as Possible to Cuban super-star, Desi Arnaz. There is just one song for you to learn: “Ba, Ba, Looo!”and all you need to buy is a long congo drum and hit the street to your girl’s house. Once she sees and hears you, she will laugh at first, then her better judgment will hit her to take you back because she thinks if you go this far to win her back, you must be sorry!
  • Go to Any Costume Store and Purchase a Clown Suit and then learn a few funny tricks, but not any that will backfire on your girl. Then learn a laugh that is made for you. It will not take long before you and her are talking, laughing and things will go back the way they were before you said something incorrect.
  • Convince Your Best Buddy to Meet You and help you perform this Two-Man Horse Gag. You can practice if you like, but listen. If you and your buddy stumble a lot, that is much better. Your girlfriend will laugh alright . . .at YOU, but when you break-out those big hound dog tears, you will have it made. Plus you can slip your arm, errr, hoof, around your girlfriend and just by doing that, she will fall into your arms back in love with you.
  • Spend a Little Money Investing on a Gelosvagos Turtleand my heart-broken dude, this tip just may be THE most-unusual, bizarre “love tip” that I or anyone else could ever pass along to any guy who has just been jilted by a pretty girl. And it will work if practiced with precision accuracy. Just buy a brand-new Gelosvagos Turtle, maybe a used one, and do as I ask: take a battery-powered CD player with the CD that has your girfriend’s favorite tunes, then haul the turtle, let’s name him, “Toby,” to the front yard of your girlfriend, only to be looking out her front window and wondering what you are doing. Out of pure curiosity, she walks out to check you and the huge turtle out because she is convinced that you have lost it. But . . .at the right time, you stand next to the humble turtle and quickly turn on the CD player that you have cleverly-hidden inside the turtle’s shell and in a few moments, she will hear “Wind Beneath Your Wings,” and the rest is Romantic History. She, like most girls, love this song and the turtle as well. I would tell you good luck on these tips on this piece, but you will not need them. You will be too busy romancing your girlfriend.
  • The Famous Bandaged-Man Look most always works like a charm. And this “love tip” can be utilized by you, the guy, only acting as if you have injured your hand to the point that your girlfriend can see your blood on your bandage. Drive to your girlfriend’s house, honk the horn, and she will walk on the outside to see you in your car. First off, she will be angry all-over again because of “that” one misunderstood phrase that you said. Now comes the act that will win back her heart. Slowly get out of the car and make sure that she sees your bandaged arm and slowly, and in a weakling voice, say, (when she asks what happened?) well, I was trying to save this young boy who was running in the middle of the highway in front of a big truck and it was his life or mine, so I lunged with all of my might and shoved the youngster away from the truck and the youngster was saved, so was the truck driver and so was yours truly. Then act like you are crying and that will seal the deal. She will want you to come in so you and her can talk, and that means one thing: making-up and reforming that special relationship.

I sincerely hope that one or maybe all of these “love tips” will benefit you IF you are a guy who has just been the victim of painful break-up with your girl.

Just follow the simple directions of these tips and in a few days, maybe hours, that smile that you used to wear when “she” was your girl will return very soon.

August 29, 2019______________________________________________________

These huge tortise grow very big and can live for over 500 years.
These huge tortise grow very big and can live for over 500 years. | Source

© 2019 Kenneth Avery


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