- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Frequently Asked Question By Ladies
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS BY LADIES
From daily experiences and history, certain questions have rather become a FAQ than a just question among ladies and the womenfolk in general.
Some of these questions arise as a result of negative experiences with different men from various backgrounds and status. Some of these questions include: “why must he dump me for another girl after years of courtship, when it is time for us to have settled down as marriage spouses?” it is so inhumane for a man to do this, and it is at the same time a heartbreaking experience for a lady to encounter yet, situations like this will continue to exist unless ladies learn to mitigate it before it occurs, how?
The ‘how?’ question is what this article is meant to tackle and that was the reason I sat down and carried out a long period of research on this very topic. In my relationship books and articles that have been published in various forms, I keep pointing out the reason why I veered into this very career of relationship counseling. I wouldn’t hesitate to make it known again that what led me into this counseling thing, is my desire to help women to become very happy in their romantic and business relationships with men. I have pity whenever I come across or read about a woman or girl being mistreated by a man, I feel like changing the whole sad situation in a blink.
Haven understood that I cannot achieve this sanity in romantic relationships between men and women by just counseling the men alone, I decided to rather educate the women to be wise, as a way of protecting themselves from falling victim to maltreatment from men. This is the reason why I title most of my relationship books; ‘secret exposure’, because I know quiet sure that the things I reveal to ladies, are secrets which men wouldn’t want them to know about the male kingdom.
Sit back and read through some of the frequently asked questions that majority of ladies asked today about men. Read them with understanding, by the time you are through with it, I bet your knowledge about men will be wider than earlier.
Why is he treating me like this?
The FAQS by Ladies
Why do men cheat on their partners?
This may arise as a result of so many reasons. It could be for a selfish desire or for a personal decision. It could also be as a result of incompetence from his partner, i.e. poor character and manner, poor emotional reflection (as regards to romantic life) or understanding. Most importantly, some men are born cheaters, they inherited it; it runs in their blood, they can’t make do with one partner, they are always on the edge of exploring new women, to them it is fun, and it has nothing to do with morality or the partner in question, no matter how good the woman may be or how much they love their partner, they just enjoy cheating with other women. Such men are called, FREAKS. They get freaked at the sight of a woman’s back or front side; they start imagining the interior decoration.
So what do you do if you become a victim to such men?
If you have ever read any of my relationship books, remember, I often discuss a topic: ‘testing before trusting’, this is the need for you to test before you trust, and even when you must have finished testing, please always check balance, that is the need for maintenance in engineering, to be able to detect fault before it occurs and to proffer solution on time. Remember again, you can’t convince a man to act against his will; it is only God that can change situations like this, so this is where God comes into play. Withdraw from the relationship, better still, become a platonic friend and if you really care for him, help him attain salvation through Christ Jesus.
This category of men can only change on a spiritual intervention, morality or counseling can hardly change them, and it has nothing to do with their partner being the most beautiful or ugly woman in the world. They are simply freaks, whether they are dating Miss Earth or Miss Underworld, they love to explore new things in women; new b**bs, new a*s, new everything.
How do you help him attain salvation?
Pray always for God to change him, pray with faith and it shall come to past. Remember in the bible book of Mathew 11:28, God was speaking through his son Jesus Christ saying; “come to me all you that are heavily burdened, and who are also tired of the sufferings of the Earth, and I will give you rest”. Draw him closer to Christ, so that he can understand that the life he’s living is not worth living, so that he can understand that life is not just all about fun, it has more meaning than just fun.
A man can also cheat when he is not truly in love with his partner, maybe he is just using the lady as a passing by to kill his loneliness while waiting to connect with the woman of his dreams. But this is always an approach for unwise men who have poor judgment.
Finally, some men cheat because they are emotionally premature, that is why you should avoid committing yourself with immature guys who are still out to catch fun with ladies. Any romantic relationship that is not aiming at marriage, is a wasteful relationship, avoid such relationships if you desire to get married in the mere future else, you will face a lot of disappoints by men. It is also noteworthy to know that some men cheat out of vengeance, watch out for such signs, and run before your heart is totally committed to him, to avoid a sorrowful heartbreak.
Am I the cause of his cheating on me?
For every relationship that fails, the woman has a contribution to it. The reason is because you accepted this man into your life by attracting him. Don’t forget that we attract who we are. A man doesn’t just go to every lady he comes across, something must attract him towards the lady, and this first attraction is always physical. Do you now see the reason why you need to dress right and decent? You might not agree with this analogue, but search through your heart and you will discover the validity of this statement.
I know of the fact that there are some good ladies who are still faced with the challenges of a cheating boyfriend or partner, this is why you need to go back and get a copy of my book titled: SECRET EXPOSURE FOR SINGLE LADIES, and read it cover to cover, starting from the introduction page for more clarifications on this. Another simple answer to this question is this; ask yourself a question, if you didn’t accept him into your life, who is him to cause you pains or heartbreak? So you made the first mistake of letting him in, be careful of the men you attract into your life, it matters a lot.
Why is he still delaying getting married to me?
Marriage is a responsibility, it has to do with decision, in fact a onetime decision, and therefore it demands carefulness. Don’t be in a haste to get married to a guy just because you two have been dating for two or three years, so you believe you are compatible. Marriage is quite different from dating, just like I said; it is a responsibility which requires sincere commitment from both partners.
Will you be happy that a guy persuasively get married to you, and in the next two years, you guys are on divorce case at a marriage court?
Now to the question, your boyfriend or fiancé may delay getting married to you for so many reasons. This could be as a result of:
· financial difficulties (no reasonable man wants to bring up a family he cannot take good care of)
· emotional troubles
· spiritual problem (he might be facing a spiritual bondage, in this case, he needs a spiritual deliverance to be free and upright)
· family issues (he might be finding it difficult to come to terms with his parents or siblings on the decision of getting married to you or the family might have presented him with a different option which he is trying to battle out)
· the absence of true love (it is possible he likes you for a girlfriend and not for a wife, marriage is more than friendship, some ladies are excellent girlfriends and not a good wife, change your inner attitudes and character)
· immaturity on his side
· fear of raising children (he has no family values, he prefers dating to marriage)
· fear of being committed to one lady for a lifetime (he is a freak, and wouldn’t want to lose some of his other girlfriends, because some reasonable ones will leave the moment they discover that he is married)
· fear of future uprising (e.g. divorce, quarrels, etc)
· fear of family responsibilities or fatherhood
Don’t also forget the fact that not every man that dates you wants to get married to you. Some men are out for fun, they have no family value; they are afraid of raising children, sticking with a lady for years, financial responsibilities, etc. It is also possible that the man doesn’t love you to the extent of settling down with you for life, which is what marriage entails. Lastly, some men are mature physically, but they are immature emotionally and mentally which is very vital in a marriage, avoid such men, they will only waste your time, unless you are still out for fun. Don’t rush into marriage so that you won’t jump out of it, think wisely before you say yes, I will marry you.
Why is it taking him time to tell me, ‘I love you’?
You have not convinced him beyond his expectations that you are that woman of his dreams. He is still skeptical about the relationship, he thinks you might not be the right choice for him, so he is still studying things, so be patient and be real, and then see what happens. But if this last longer than usual, please my dear run, he is just using you to while away time, while waiting for his dream woman!
How do I know the qualities he wants in a woman or who his dream woman is?
Every man desires a good and virtuous woman. Get a copy of my e-book titled: SECRET EXPOSURE FOR SINGLE LADIES, read carefully chapter one where I explained what it takes to be a ‘good woman’.
Is it good to have sex with my boyfriend before we get married?
Obviously, it is very difficult for young people to engage in a romantic relationship without indulging in sexual activities, but if you understand the dangers involved, you will rather live without it. You cannot do this on your own, because our flesh is weak, and sex is the most powerful drive in human, but with the help of Jesus Christ, you can be in love with a guy and not have sex with him. But I know this is rarely practiced in the world today.
One big secret about men is that they cherish principled women a lot. If you say no and stand on that no, he will respect you forever. I have a friend, he is a playboy, he has a lot of girlfriends, though I have done my best in convincing him to change his attitude towards ladies, but he is adamant on that. But he has a particular girlfriend he love the most, being his best friend, he told me that the reason he loved that girl the most is because she never allow him to touch her, that she can only be touched on their wedding night, and she stick to it, just recently, they got married. There are a lot of ways to show your emotions to the man you love aside sex.
You can learn some of them by reading my books, I am sorry I can’t go on explaining them just here, space wouldn’t permit me.
How do I know that my boyfriend loves me?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions by single ladies. With the high rate of disappointments by men, majority of single ladies are curious to know if their partners love them or not. Some go extreme lengths to find out; they consult witchdoctors, sorcerers, prophets or soothsayers, just to know if they are on the right track or not. Here are some ways to know if your boyfriend loves you or not:
First, if a guy loves you, definitely, his feelings must be clearly reflected in his behaviors, expressions, passion and actions alike. Secondly, how often is he ready to help you out, whenever you get entrapped in a particular sort of trouble, does he sit back and just watch you suffer in pains or does he offer his hand for help; a good sign of love because a guy who loves you, will always want the best for you, he will want to see you succeed than suffer (don’t misinterpret this with the idea of a man giving you money every time, this is not a true sign of true love.).
How often does he like to communicate with you? Guys enjoy chatting with ladies they love, their words make them happy. A guy that hardly look at you directly in the eyes, may be cheating on you, shifty eyes is a good sign of betrayal both in business, family or romantic relationships, watch out for this sign whenever you suspect his actions.
How often does he tell his friends or relatives about you? Does he hide your relationship with him from these people? If yes, he may not be in love with you, be careful. Another clear indication that a guy loves you is to evaluate how much he loves going out with you on a walk, with his friends, colleagues or even to religious worships. Definitely, if a guy doesn’t love you, he won’t be proud going out with you, he only enjoys spending time with you in the secret places like: in bedrooms, hide outs, corners, especially at nights or odd hours.
Finally, if a guy loves you and wants you for life, he plans future with you; he discusses issues like, raising children, making savings, planning a home and his focus gradually moves from sexual to family values. For more knowledge on this topic, visit: http://www.hubpages.com/hub/how-to-know-if-a-man-truly-loves-you read all the comments below the article, it will broaden your knowledge a lot.
After many years of dating, why did he tell me we can’t marry, and he went ahead and married another lady?
Men are not like women, who enjoy long relationship. For majority of men, the longer a relationship last, the more their passion for the lady fades away, unless they are legally married; this brings in another dimension of love, and eventually they produce children, the love becomes stronger.
What do you do to avoid being a victim of this circumstance?
Do not allow your relationship with a man to last longer than normal, men by nature are explorers; they love exploring and adventuring, so it is safer for you to get him committed before his passion and excitement boils down. If you are wondering how to make him beg you for marriage, don’t worry; just get a copy of my e-book: SECRET EXPOSURE FOR SINGLE LADIES. More than what you need to know is there just for you to read.
There are a lot of questions I would have loved to answer here, but space wouldn’t permit me, so I suggest that you check back for second edition of this article coming out very soon. Better still, you can get a copy of my e-book at lulu and read all the FAQS for yourself. The e-book cost less than $12, I just put a discount last week, for the benefit of my readers who requested for it.
Finally, I would like to point it clearly here that you shouldn’t be afraid to enter your credit card info when purchasing the e-book at lulu.com; I promise you that your credit card information is securely handled by lulu. Lulu.com has been tested and certified as long as online shopping is concerned, so feel free to make your purchase there, already I have appreciable number of people (from different countries) who have purchased a copy, and there has not been any complain. Thank you for your understanding, I love you all and I want you to be happy in all you do.
The link to purchase my e-book is: http://www.lulu.com/content/e-book/secret-exposure-for-single-ladies/9312781