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Managing Relationships: a Guide to Keeping the Best Friends and Finding Your New Friends

Updated on January 27, 2018
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Fernando has intensively studied the sociological and psychological aspects of society. He is continuing to further his undergraduate study.

Do you like your friends?

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Two friends looking at their phones.
Two friends looking at their phones.

My Friends

Do you want to know something?

I used to worry about my friends all of the time. There could be differing reasons for worrying. However, the main reason I would worry is that I felt they weren't going to stick around for long.

In fact, most of my friends didn't stick around for long, and it isn't because I did something wrong. In fact, it wasn't even the fact that they did anything wrong, either.

It merely was time to move on.

The Art of Finding Friends

You know, it's funny because it feels as if a friend is actually someone you benefit from mutually. Nowadays, we have sentimental value for our friendships, which we have crafted and developed through our own efforts, and would rather step on hot coal than to have them destroyed. However, there is no reason to fret.

Losing a few friends isn't the end of the world. After all, they may still be there for you in the future and you still may be there in their time of need as well.

Thing is, we don't have time for everything. Life's too short. Sticking with the same friends for so long, at least for me, is detrimental to my growth. I mean, don't get me wrong: I like being friends with the same people. However, I don't exactly feel like I am growing if I don't meet new people every once in a while.

Think of it this way: if you've ever played the game Pokemon, you will understand this analogy. Treat your friends like Pokemon, but at the same time, don't overthink the analogy. With this idea in mind, you should constantly upgrade your arsenal and develop as a player over time.

With that being said, there's no reason to fret if you have lost a few friends. There are practically billions of people out there that could be your new friend.

With that being said, let's go ahead and go in-depth a little more.

A good number of friends socializing with each other.
A good number of friends socializing with each other.

Losing Friends is an Opportunity to Find Friends That are Better

Losing a few friends here and there may seem like a depressing moment in your life. However, it is actually a chance for you to grow.

I once met a person that told me,

"I don't need any friends. I spend all of my time at home watching T.V. and doing whatever I want."

Listen closely: now that your friend(s) are gone, you have more free time to do whatever you please. And yes, that includes finding new friends to be around.

This is what is so cool about not giving a living crap about keeping the same friends around: you have the freedom to leave whenever you want and you won't cry like a little baby when they leave you. Forget them. It's not like you need them, anyways, and I want you to get that in your head.

Once again, don't get me wrong. Your friends are your friends. They may feel like family to you. However, you need to realize that they will always be there. Thing is, not everyone will adhere to what I am saying. Maybe some people would rather have the same circle of friends for eternity. Unfortunately, I don't fall into that cast. I like change and diversity. If that sounds more like you, move on.

With fewer friends, you have more time to grow. This is now the time to go out and meet new people. Go to bars, the library, or whatever it takes. Talk to whoever is around you. If you are like me, you'll want to make friends wherever you go. Anytime you are out of your house, you have an opportunity to talk to someone new. That's the trick here: you need to practice your lines and be able to talk to virtually anyone and everyone at any instant in life. You never know if you'll end up running into someone you think is a good friend.

However, also have a set of lines to use when you realize this person isn't friend-worthy. I usually try to cut the conversation short when I realize I have found a sneezy one that isn't worth the time.

Nonetheless, losing friends is what helps you grow as a person because you have more space for new people. And, my friends, you will prosper as long as you lose them.

I know this sounds funny and weird to a lot of you, but just trust me on this.

Learn to Identify Best Friends and Find New Friends

Once you have found the right people that you want to keep around you for a good amount of time, you want to do whatever it takes to manage them.

You know, there are times where you'll find one of those friendships that are easy to manage. These are the friendships you want to keep. You want these people to be a part of your life because they are the ones that don't cause a lot of drama.

The people that are really high-maintenance, however, are the ones that you want to try keeping out of your gates. These people include those that get upset that you haven't talked to them in a long time. These also include the people that will get upset at you because you have a lot of friends. They just don't understand that when life gives you lemons, you make something out of it and produce some sort of lemonade concoction.

P.s., If you haven't gotten the gist of it yet, leave your dramatic friends in the past and grow the hell out of the place.

Friends socializing and laughing together.
Friends socializing and laughing together.

Friendships and Conclusions

A couple of final thoughts: now that we have talked a little more about friendships, why you shouldn't fret about losing friends, and general tips on how to manage your friends, you should be able to understand the process and why it isn't a bad idea to be alone once in a while. After all, there are advantages to this.

I remember when I lost my best friend I ended up trying to make friends with others. Interestingly, I have not regretted this. I feel that having a best friend, a long time ago, led me to not want to talk to other people around me. However, after losing him as a best friend, I started talking and socializing with others around me and that is how I gained the friends that I now have.

I have lost a lot of friends and have found them to not be worth my time, anyways. I feel you won't learn or realize anything until after the people, that were once your friends, are actually gone from your life. If they are still sitting in front of you, it is really hard to convince you that these people are toxic and/or incompatible with your lifestyle. For example, a lot of my old friends are actually gamers and I was sucked into a vortex of gaming just because they were deeply into gaming. However, I am not a big gamer, myself, so in the end, I ended up playing more video games with them because I had nothing better to do and these friends were the only ones available at the time.

An ideal friend, for me, would be someone well-balanced. My friend would be a very respectful person that likes to be around me. My friend won't judge me, and I won't judge him either.

Wel, there you have it: I have given you enough tips and tricks in friendship management that should probably spark some ideas.

Thanks for reading! I hope you have enjoyed this article. Please come again and go ahead and comment what you think, certain observations you have had in the past, and how you feel when you lose friends in general.

How many friends have you lost?

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© 2017 Fernando Gonzalez


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