Friends after baby
Friendships Before Having Children
Friendships of ours have certainly evolved. Let me tell you about our friendships prior to having children. Before the boys we went out to bars and had wine and cheese parties at our house, went out for dinners and on trips. We really got to enjoy all of the friends that we had. Then we had a baby. Some friends put in effort. Some friends fell off the face of the earth. I know friendship is a two-way street. We have certainly made attempts to keep friendships alive, also. It's not like we are sitting at home waiting for people to call us. It isn't like that. We were first out of a lot of our friends to have children. We never really cared to "go out" to bars anymore after having a baby. I don't blame those we have lost contact with. I understand. Our idea of a good time really has changed. Our Saturday nights consist of making a homemade pizza, early baths, crazy PJ's and a children's cartoon movie. No one wants to do that, especially when the kids need to be in bed at least by 8 pm. While those who have not procreated are out shopping for themselves at high end shoppes, I'm here on Amazon prime trying to find the best deal on diapers and baby wipes. Seriously. That's what is most important to me now! I used to have so many friends!!! Sometimes I miss the way it used to be. But I would never take these babies of ours for granted.
Friendships After Children
I have certainly learned over the past few years who my friends truly are. And more often than not, they tend to be people who also have children. Yes, there are a few who have persevered and really truly wanted to stay friends despite our different places in this life. And a lot of our friends are in the exact same boat. First we were really able to connect with those who had one child. Then we had a second baby and have really embraced the friendships who also have multiple children...mostly because our lives are so hectic and crazy and overwhelming that it is SO nice to talk to people who actually understand. You have no idea the exhaustion that we feel after having a second child. You just don't know unless you've been there. Our daily routine feels like a circus. And we are on the tight rope, trying so hard to get across it without falling off. There is truly a fine line between organized chaos and mayhem. Sometimes we don't even know which side of the line we're on. It's really nice to have friends in the same walk of life. It's almost comforting to see them also walking the tightrope. It's like an unspoken bond.
We do try to make time for our old friends. For instance, I am going out for lunch next Sunday with one of my absolute favorite friends. I hope she joins us in the mayhem of parenting but until she does, I will absolutely do my very best to make time to see her, because she's genuine and deserves it.
Friends without children
Friends with one child
Friends with 2+ children
Pick up and go anytime
Can still pick up and go with some notice
At least 1 day notice is necessary
Can stay out late
Can stay out reasonably late, though most don't
I need to be home by 5 to make dinner
Can sleep as long as they want to
One parent can sleep in because 1:1 is fine
Everyone has to get up!