- Gender and Relationships
Friendships that last
How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on?
The free dictionary defines a friend as:
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
The best friends you find in life are from your childhood and college days.
The friends you form when none of you have anything other than a genuine interest in hanging out are priceless. You remember your friends that brought birthday gifts and whose parents you knew because they always dropped them off over your house. There was no hidden agenda or motive in developing those friendships. These friendships are golden and priceless because these friendships exhibit the purest unconditional love. These friendships never end. You can literally contact your friends ten, twenty, or thirty years later and pickup right where you left off.
by Mindy Carpenter
As childhood friends, we grew up together,
Swearing to be friends forever and ever.
Sometimes we would argue and fight,
Other times we would laugh and stay up all night.
We went from playing with games and toys,
To talking and dreaming about different boys.
My thoughts and feelings, to you I would confide,
Never having anything to hide.
Friends we do remain,
Things changing, and things staying the same.
To each other we still listen and share,
About each other, we will always care.
Friendships in college are golden because as you develop into an adult and make attempts to achieve your dreams you meet other people with similar goals. You encounter people of different background, family situations, different ethnicity, and perhaps a different mindset. You develop friendships with people based on commonalities but allowing for differences. Helping your friend study for exams or perhaps joining organizations together that will help your career -post college- creates bonds for a lifetime. You can recall those days of pitching in on pizza or going to college parties while studying is a once in a lifetime experience. These friendships last a lifetime because you are in a situation where you understand who someone really is absent of pretenses and facade. In college you learn to make good friends based on similar values and goals while weeding out association with those who are not on your same page.
One can not doubt the importance of friends in your life: http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/good-vibes-and-good-times-reasons-why-you-should-have-good-friends-in-your-life/.
As we get older it is difficult to form true quality friendship. Sure you can create acquaintances based on work or organizations but usually those interactions are based on motive. There tends to be a lack of genuine interaction with others that occur when we are adults. While 15% -20% of new friendships are genuine, most interaction is not. Weather we see it on television or experience it in our own lives, there is a change in genuine friendships. Perhaps because people have become adults and fully embraced their insecurity, competition, or become people who have motives. Perhaps it becomes difficult to observe others, your same age or similar career backgrounds, achieve success that you are not able to obtain. Perhaps it is difficult to go out with your girlfriends and be the last one chosen so you sabotage interactions with your friends. Unfortunately 80%-85% of people come with motives and the motives do not carry good intentions. Perhaps this is the case because as adults people have more baggage and issues as an older adult tan when they were younger. Another reason friendships are harder to maintain and last the test of time is because people become aware of bad intentions, co-dependent behavior, and toxic friendships that appear to be in abundance as we get older.
Melanie Gorman provides great insight regarding friendships: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-gorman/adult-friendship-101_b_789388.html. Trust, good intentions, good morals/values, and love for your friends are what makes friendship endure the test of time. Being a good friend means wanting the best for your friend, being there in the hard times, accepting their faults, and being their cheerleader regardless of success or failure. A good friend does not compete with their friends, sabotage interaction, or seek to place their friends as second best to your shine.
If you have two good friends in this lifetime you are blessed because you love them like family and they feel the same. One is truly blessed to have great friends in this lifetime you should feel blessed.
The best things in life are free and your friendships for a lifetime should feel like elected family members that mean more than life to you. Never forget to nurture these relationships and make time to spend with people who love you absent of agenda. Healthy relationships are based in love and care; your strongest friendships should reflect that. Be blessed and let your true friends know how much you love and appreciate them.