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Funny Story about Ophelia, Bianca and the Handsome Stranger

Updated on April 2, 2015
Bianca is very active at the pool.
Bianca is very active at the pool. | Source
Ophelia ... not so much!
Ophelia ... not so much! | Source

Ophelia, Bianca and the Handsome Stranger

Since April is National Humor Month, it is my pleasure to share with you one of my favorite, funny stories which I have written in verse:

Ophelia and Bianca are best friends,

Both are widows of a ‘certain age.’

They reside in a Florida condo

Where sunning at the pool is the rage.

On this beautiful, warm summer day,

Both are relaxing at the condo pool.

Appraising the new strange man they spot,

Who is tall and dark and handsome and cool.

He seems to be fifty-five to sixty,

Which is an age they both find attractive.

He swims a few lengths of the swimming pool

And appears to be both fit and active.

Handsome stranger in pool
Handsome stranger in pool | Source

Ophelia turns to Bianca and says:

“You know I am shy with folks I don’t know.

Although that fellow looks sad and lonely,

He could be a most desirable beau.”

“No problem, my dear,” says Bianca,

“I will talk to the fellow in question.

He seems attractive but lonely and sad.

I’ll find out why as per your suggestion.”

She walks to the other side of the pool,

And sits down next to the handsome guy.

She introduces herself and tells him,

“You look lonely but I don’t mean to pry.“

The man says, “There is a good reason

Why I look so sad and so lonely.

I spent the last twenty years in prison,

With convicts for companionship only.”

Bianca is astonished and replies,

“You must be kidding. What on earth for?”

“I was in prison for killing my third wife.

In a fit of anger, I strangled her.”

Bianca says, “I do not mean to pry,

But what happened to your second wife?”

“We had a terrible argument,

And I killed her with a butcher knife.

“And, if I may be so bold, your first wife?”

“For our honeymoon we took a cruise trip.

The first night we had a tremendous fight.

And she subsequently ‘fell’ off the ship.”

“Oh, good heavens,” responds Bianca.

As her senses begin to tingle.

She yells to Ophelia across the pool:

“Yoo-hoo, Ophelia . . . the guy is single!”

Did You Know?

National Humor Month was founded in 1976 by comedian and best-selling author, Larry Wilde, to heighten public awareness on how the joy and therapeutic value of laughter can improve health, boost morale, increase communication skills, and enrich the quality of one's life. True!

Favorite senior short joke:

A little old man shuffled with difficulty into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”

“No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”

Favorite laughter quote:

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2015. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."

© 2015 drbj and sherry

Comments for Ophelia, Bianca and the Handsome Stranger

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    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      Ophelia and Bianca need all the help they can get, savvy, m'dear. Thanks for enjoying this. It is entirely my pleasure to bring you a smile.

      No, it is not a bad thing to see the hag or crone in my avatar before you see the young attractive girl. More than 80% of the population see the hag first.

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 2 years ago

      LOL. For sure, Ophelia and Bianca could use some of my savvy dating advice. On the other hand, at their age, they might be too far gone. Ha!

      BTW, when I look at your profile picture, I see the old hag and not the young lady. I'm hoping that not a bad thing? ;)

      I enjoyed your prose. Thanks for bringing a smile to face!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      You are more than welcome for the laugh, dear Billy. Happy to be back on HP when I can.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Patricia. What a treat to be compared to the great Hitchcock. I loved all his films. Delighted you enjoyed my favorite 'arthritis' joke as well, and thank you for the voting, the sharing, the Up and the pinning. You're the greatest. Angels backatcha.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      It was my pleasure, Alicia, to share this verse with you. Thank you for finding it both amusing and enjoyable. That's what I hoped you would say.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Faith. Not only is April National Humor and National Poetry Month but also National Pecan Month. Yum! Now I'm looking forward to the 21st which is National Chocolate Covered Cashew Day. Although I look forward to almost anything that is chocolate-covered.

      And you hit the mark with your comment, m'dear. Life without laughter is no life! Blessings backatcha.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      How nice to make your acquaintance, Venkatachari. Thanks for the kind words and the Up and 'awesome.'

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      Poor Ophelia, her heart may rule her head. Do hope R.I.P. isn't the answer, Martie. It's good to hear from you and happy to still be around. Love the Queen of Humor title, m'luv.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh, I have missed your humor. I'm hoping this is a sign that you will be around more in the future. Thanks for the laugh on this Easter morning.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      Loved has a kind of Alfred Hitchcock twist to it :D

      And the 'arthritis' joke is the bomb. Laughter is indeed one of the most therapeutic drugs of choice...and I do believe I have used the same Chaplin quote recently....great minds and all....

      Lovely to see you Angels are winging their way to you this morning ps

      Voted up shared and pinned to Awesome HubPages

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I didn't know that it was National Humor Month, either. Thanks for sharing the amusing and enjoyable hub, drbj.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Tee hee ... I had no idea it is National Humor Month, only National Poetry Month! I can't imagine going through this life without laughter. Well, we could always write a humorous poem and cover both, as you did.

      Blessings always

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very interesting story. You are really great at humour. Enjoyed very much.

      Voted up and awesome.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 2 years ago from South Africa

      Let me say it in anticipation of that guys modus operandi: RIP Ophelia!

      Good to see you are still around, drbj, and still the Queen of Humor.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      You are so right, Don, it doesn't pay to be too picky! :)

      Thanks for stopping by.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 2 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      At least he is single, what more do they need?